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Old 05-03-2015, 01:16 AM
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Sober!

Getting sober, oh gosh its like riding the worst bull in the rodeo. It rears its ugly head. Sobriety can be so ephemeral, so fleeting, just a straw a morsel to hang on to.

Here I am, its all on the line, I can lose my daughter to CPS, my wife, my friends. But here I am, sober, had a little slip tonight gambled some and I can't do that either.

I wake up and think to myself Jeremy what are we going to do today. Its a world of decisions to be made, but we need to make the right ones. Kind of funny with all the possibilities all I want to do is drink and drug and gamble. Crazy right? All the things I can do but I have a one track mind. However, I am not going to drink or drug, I am going to find something is this world of possibilities to do that productive.

Sanity, I worry about sanity, if you don't know I am schizophrenic. I hear things that don't exist. my new medication is helping a lot, but still happens. I think at times I am going to lose it all, I think one day I am going to get lost in a delusion and never come back. Its scary, my own mind attacks me, so I am trying to enjoy everyday and have faith that I will be ok.

So taking it day by day, so much riding on everyday, but I am poised to stay sober. Worried about my sanity, but the meds are helping. Just glad to have opportunities still and a chance to change.
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Old 05-03-2015, 01:27 AM
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Hi Jeremy ,

My mum is schizophrenic , she's a great mum first tho

Try not to worry overly much about tomorrow or getting lost in thoughts .

Mum has problems with repetitive ideas , it helps to have a set routine , to do things at certain times .

Even after the time you have sober the effects of alcohol can still be in your system and effecting how the medication works . it took 6 months for my brain to sort itself out i think ..

Keep things simple , keep on staying sober .

Things will work out OK with time ,

Bestwishes, m
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Old 05-03-2015, 03:01 AM
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I think mecanix pretty well has it nailed Jeremy

D
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Old 05-03-2015, 03:48 AM
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you know the crazy tag is what I am worried about, I don't want anyone to call me crazy.I have problem but it hurts when someone says I am crazy. I have a wife and daughter and friends and get on quite well. Honestly the voices come and go, the delusions come and go.However, I am still me suppose.
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Old 05-03-2015, 03:51 AM
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Ignorant people will always call you ignorant names...they're a minority tho J.

you have to rise above it...your self worth comes from within, not from what some ill informed jerk might call you.

they don't know jack.

D
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Old 05-03-2015, 04:17 AM
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A Cuationary Tale

Don't pay 'em no mind. I know, easier said than done, however...........and here's the cautionary tale................:

When I was early in my recovery, I met a woman who was two years sober, but also suffered from bi-polar (manic/depressive, back in the day).Some folks were trying to convince her to stop taking her meds; telling her she wasn't sober if she was still on them (big BS). Well, she stopped taking her meds, and a short time later I learned she was dead; she'd put a .45 in her mouth and blew her brains out.....good thing I never found these folks.......Now, I don't want to hear of anything like this happening to you.

Also, again when I was early in recovery, some folks called me names....nothing like you're talking about here, but names is names. Even today I still remember being told I was just a relapse waiting to happen.................well, I don't know what happened to those folks (and I don't really care), but............I'm still waiting.........! (o:

You keep trudgin' TDG

(o:
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Old 05-03-2015, 04:28 AM
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"Kind of funny with all the possibilities all I want to do is drink and drug and gamble. Crazy right? All the things I can do but I have a one track mind. However, I am not going to drink or drug, I am going to find something is this world of possibilities to do that productive."


Hi.
The highlighted part reminds me of my thinking process at the beginning until I was told with no uncertain words that I needed to WANT to be sober as the number 1 priority to become sober.

So true!

BE WELL
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:49 AM
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Um, gambling a "little bit" isn't a "little slip" for someone with a gambling problem, man. It's a big deal and a sign that you're giving your AV far too much control.
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Old 05-03-2015, 11:23 AM
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Keep pushing through Jeremy!!
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Old 05-04-2015, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy View Post
you know the crazy tag is what I am worried about, I don't want anyone to call me crazy.I have problem but it hurts when someone says I am crazy. I have a wife and daughter and friends and get on quite well. Honestly the voices come and go, the delusions come and go.However, I am still me suppose.
You probably won't remeber me, I was here months ago and I read some of your posts. I think you should be incredibly proud of yourself. You are working it all out and putting the effort in where it matters. I'm gonna try and take a leaf out of your book!! Wish me luck!
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