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-   -   AV is quieter but still ALWAYS waiting............ (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/366244-av-quieter-but-still-always-waiting.html)

Hendrix 05-03-2015 12:34 AM

AV is quieter but still ALWAYS waiting............
 
Hello folks
I always believed that I drank to relieve stress and help me unwind blah blah blah.

Yesterday I was so pleased and happy that I'd reached 6 months sober and that I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin

By chance, my wife and I found some cheap flights to a Greek island so we booked them and found a remote place to stay, far from the tourist trail with just the sun, beach and mountains for company..............and the odd taverna :a108:

My pleasure and excitement was instantly marred by feelings of remorse that I wouldn't be able to sip cold beers in the shade at lunchtime or drink wine with my meals .........
I felt miserable that I would be denying myself the freedom to drink in the morning along with everyone else in the airport bar - I'd just been fortunate enough to book an idyllic holiday, relaxing in one of the most beautiful places in Europe - yet I felt cheated!!!

It was only later that I was able to see what was going on when I had similar thoughts around the weekend.
It's a bank holiday weekend here in the UK just now and I was thinking how in the past I would love them because I could literally drink as much as I liked.
With no work for a few days it didn't matter that I would drink till I passed out on the sofa. I could wake up in the wee small hours and force another drink before climbing the stairs and crashing out in my own bed. When I finally woke up again mid morning, it didn't matter that I felt like death because I was just a couple of 'curers' away from feeling ok again and would be able to sneak drinks throughout the day without the 'pressures' of work.........

Holidays for me used to be freedom from having to control my drinking , a chance to drink as much as I liked with no accountability - in fact it's almost expected that you drink from morning till night ..at least it was in my world!

When I realised this yesterday I felt the cloud lift, my AV had sensed a hole in my armour caused by a change in routine but I had seen it for what it was and was able to recognise it.
My AV doesn't want to sip the beer in the sun or savour a glass of wine at sunset - it wants to get smashed with absolute abandon knowing that there would be the opportunity to drink through the nausea to avoid the hangover the next day.

I don't want that - I'm going to get up early to enjoy the morning, explore the island appreciating its beauty, swim and snorkel in the crystal water, relax in the calm peaceful atmosphere knowing that as long as I recognise what is me and what is AV then I need never return to that hell again.
Sorry for a long post but the ferocity of the AV attacks following periods of quiet always surprise me. I understand now why sobriety can never be taken for granted - you need to work at it.

mecanix 05-03-2015 12:55 AM

Hey Hendrix ,
I'm glad you saw through the delusion and know to go down that route would only bring back the confusion and misery , there are always consequences to our drinking .

I'm glad you came shared it with everyone so we can watch out for it too :)

Going to Greece sound beautiful , it will be great you'll enjoy it with clarity and not be all sweaty and flushed and concerned for the next drink rather than what the island has for you to experience … the times i went abroad and just spent all day in a bar … i coulda just stayed home for all that i got out of it ..

Keep on :You_Rock_

m

Soberwolf 05-03-2015 12:58 AM

Hi Hendrix im 32 when i was 18 i took a job for 6 months (holiday season) it was a transfer rep on the greek island of corfu i stayed & worked all over that beautiful island & i too was more captivated by the history than getting smashed every night plus i had a gf (i still do)

My point is ive been to the secluded parts of this island and there is the odd taverna or 2 but if your going with full acceptance then trust me your going to love it

I got paid to guide excursions i loved it the crystal clear waters the serenity on the beaches (which is untold btw)

I dont know what greek island your going but thier all idyllic and beautiful

they all have thier quiet spots my last post on corfu was a place called Palaiokastritsa which is beautiful beyond words its where i first read huckleberry finn gosh herndrix your bringing bk good memories for me

Theres another quiet spot i loved there called acharavi it is beautiful

All the greek islands are beautiful amazing & full of history & awesome food

i havnt had a iced coffee in years lol

Hendrix you sir are awesome when are you going ?

Way to go on 6 months

lunar 05-03-2015 01:05 AM

Hendrix,
I've blown many a vacation, blitzed the entire time.
That Greek island sounds lovely. Enjoy every second
of it, soberly. You'll have a more fulfilling experience
and actually remember what a great time you had.

Hendrix 05-03-2015 01:33 AM

Thanks folks
It's a corner of Cephalonia, Wolf.
Looking on Google Maps you can just about see the place - the road hasn't been photographed for it yet :)
We plan to just walk, snorkel (look for turtles) eat fresh local food, read and just be for a while.
Now I know what to watch for I won't be pining for the odd beer as I know the whole misery that would follow.

Soberwolf 05-03-2015 01:40 AM

Thats my dads favorite greek island hes been there a lot over the years i know it is beautiful but i havnt been myself

Hendrix i dont know if you had one before but try a greek gyro over there its so tasty

Have an awesome time Hendrix

ChancesAh 05-03-2015 03:20 AM

I have to ask. What does AV stand for and what is it? Thanks

TroyW 05-03-2015 03:23 AM


Originally Posted by ChancesAh (Post 5350828)
I have to ask. What does AV stand for and what is it? Thanks

Addictive Voice (I think). Basically, when you convince yourself to throw rationality out the window to allow yourself to have a drink (eg. "just one won't hurt", "I have four weeks sober, I'm fine now", "I had a stressful day, so I think I should be allowed a drink or two") and so on.

mecanix 05-03-2015 03:27 AM

Hi Chances ,
AV stands for alcoholic voice .

I think it was born out of alcoholic voice recognition technique , explained more in this thread :-
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

Bestwishes, m

Hendrix 05-03-2015 03:29 AM

Hello ChanceAH

Sorry - I usually don't like acronyms either - can be really confusing....

AV stands for Addictive Voice. It's recognition is a technique devised by a bloke called Jack Trimpey for his "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" method of dealing with addiction.

Much can be found on the subject both on this forum and the internet in general and he has written a book on it too.

Basically, once a person has decided they no longer want to drink, any thoughts or feelings that support the desire to drink come from the AV. They are a normal and expected part of recovery and all you have to do is recognise them for what they are.

In my case my AV initially was loud and in my face for the first dew weeks but is now generally quiet. When it does pipe up now though it can still be persuasive, loud and surprising. By recognising it for what it is I have a tool to just observe it and not act on it.

There is a whole thread on here that explains it all much better than I can.
All the best :)

PurpleKnight 05-03-2015 10:58 AM

Great job on realising Hendrix!!

There's soo much more to do on holiday with a clear head, for me exploring new places is exciting, and the amount of hangover hours I used to waste is something I don't have to go back to!!

Have a great holiday!! :)

Dee74 05-03-2015 02:32 PM

There's some great self analyis in your post Hendrix - and some great responses here from the community :)

I really hope you enjoy your sober holiday :)

D


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