Blogs


Notices

Ahoy Mates!

Old 05-01-2015, 10:45 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Victoria, B.C
Posts: 21
Ahoy Mates!

Hi all,

Thought I'd make myself register before I put it off and slip back into old habits.

Just in the very, very early stages of attempting recovery. Still got the hangover, but I'm hoping I can harness the discipline to make it the last one. I've told myself I was going to quit countless times in the past and failed, but I also made little effort to get support. I've accepted now that I need it if I'm going to do this.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a new life.
Talz is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Talz For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (05-25-2015), ccam1973 (05-02-2015), Dee74 (05-01-2015), Fluffer (05-01-2015), laska23 (05-03-2015), lillyknitting (05-01-2015), Lily123 (05-25-2015), mecanix (05-02-2015), MythOfSisyphus (05-02-2015), TroyW (05-01-2015)
Old 05-01-2015, 10:52 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Hi Talz. Welcome to SR.

Beautiful city you hail from.
TroyW is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to TroyW For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-01-2015, 10:53 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
ZaBoozer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Talz View Post
Hi all, Thought I'd make myself register before I put it off and slip back into old habits. Just in the very, very early stages of attempting recovery. Still got the hangover, but I'm hoping I can harness the discipline to make it the last one. I've told myself I was going to quit countless times in the past and failed, but I also made little effort to get support. I've accepted now that I need it if I'm going to do this. Hopefully this is the beginning of a new life.
Welcome Talz, you will find a lot of support here. Feel free to have a look around.
ZaBoozer is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to ZaBoozer For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-01-2015, 11:17 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,407
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome Talz
D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-01-2015, 11:45 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ghostlight1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome. You've found a great place for support.
I hope it's your last hangover, too.
At the end of my drinking career, the hangovers couldn't even be called hangovers. They were a waking nightmare of fear, anxiety and remorse. A normal drinker wouldn't even recognize them as a hangover.

Just remember you never have to be hungover again as long as you don't take the first drink.
It took me many attempts to get sober. A good piece of my life wasted by either procurring drink, imbibing it or reovering from it.
If you do stop now, you will save yourself, because, believe me it does get worse.

Welcome aboard, and read and post away. Glad to have you here.
Ghostlight1 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ghostlight1 For This Useful Post:
JJ9 (05-02-2015), Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 02:31 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,233
Welcome to SR, Talz! Glad you found us here.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MythOfSisyphus For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 03:43 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Victoria, B.C
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by TroyW View Post
Hi Talz. Welcome to SR.

Beautiful city you hail from.
It really is.

It's interesting you bring that up, I've lived here for about going on four years, but it just feels like a blur. I haven't explored the area much at all because I'm always huddled in my apartment by myself, usually either drunk or hungover.

With the weather getting nicer, I guess that gives me an excuse to explore a bit more.

Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 View Post
Hello and welcome. You've found a great place for support.
I hope it's your last hangover, too.
At the end of my drinking career, the hangovers couldn't even be called hangovers. They were a waking nightmare of fear, anxiety and remorse. A normal drinker wouldn't even recognize them as a hangover.

Just remember you never have to be hungover again as long as you don't take the first drink.
It took me many attempts to get sober. A good piece of my life wasted by either procurring drink, imbibing it or reovering from it.
If you do stop now, you will save yourself, because, believe me it does get worse.

Welcome aboard, and read and post away. Glad to have you here.
That's what happens I guess. It's not even fun anymore, it hasn't been for years. The guilt, regrets, and disorganization are killing me. I got no clean cloths, there's beer cans everywhere , I haven't shaved in weeks. You can tell an alcoholic lives here the second you walk in the door. Hell, one look at me and you can tell.

I've had serious depression, anxiety, and self-image problems since I was a little kid. I think the alcohol abuse started as an escape from all that; I could socialize since my inhibitions were lowered, I could feel relaxed and content. The irony is that now I'd say it actually fuels those problems more then anything.

I don't know how to do anything without it now; I can't even watch a movie without being wasted. It felt freeing at one time, now it feels like I'm in some prison locked away in my own head.

I can't sleep, can't seem to think about anything else.
Talz is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Talz For This Useful Post:
ccam1973 (05-02-2015), TroyW (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 03:50 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
ccam1973's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Talz, welcome to SR.

The good thing is you do have the power to quit the madness. I didn't think it was possible either and spent two decades needing to be drunk just to function.

The decision is yours. You can break this chain and actually enjoy life again.

Glad you found us.
ccam1973 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to ccam1973 For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 04:14 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,699
"I've had serious depression, anxiety, and self-image problems since I was a little kid. I think the alcohol abuse started as an escape from all that; I could socialize since my inhibitions were lowered, I could feel relaxed and content. The irony is that now I'd say it actually fuels those problems more then anything.

I don't know how to do anything without it now; I can't even watch a movie without being wasted. It felt freeing at one time, now it feels like I'm in some prison locked away in my own head."


Hi and welcome.

There is a very high chance that these feelings will be reduced with the absence of alcohol in the system. It’s almost amazing how good we can feel with it not being consumed. We can feel like we wanted to for years.

Make no mistake that alcoholism is progressing more each day we consume it and it does not get better even if it’s not consumed for a good period of time.

Accepting help and acting on the idea that the first drink will get us drunk is a good start.

BE WELL
IOAA2 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to IOAA2 For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 04:15 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Originally Posted by Talz View Post
It really is.

It's interesting you bring that up, I've lived here for about going on four years, but it just feels like a blur. I haven't explored the area much at all because I'm always huddled in my apartment by myself, usually either drunk or hungover.

With the weather getting nicer, I guess that gives me an excuse to explore a bit more.
Yep, you're smack dab in the middle of some of the best nature the world has to offer. And I'm sure you know that too -- it's gorgeous out there.

My grandparents (RIP) used to live in Duncan, so I was out on the island usually once a year while growing up, and a good chunk of the family is still out there. Plus my parents retired out there as well. Not in Victoria, but bit north of you.

Anyway, I can relate to most of everything else you said. Those odd times you reflect upon yourself can be scary when you're in the middle of a binge. All the best with sobriety though!
TroyW is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to TroyW For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 06:48 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ghostlight1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
The good news is, and I have lived as you describe, things can change.
I got out alive. Some don't. I drank like you for ten years. It wasn't even living, it was existing.
I'm sending you good thoughts. Change may require action. It did in my case. I went to AA and met people just like me. Thought about trying it? All you have to loose if you go is a bad cup of coffee.
Best to you, change can and does happen.
Ghostlight1 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Ghostlight1 For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 10:01 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,855
Welcome to the Forum Talz!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 10:10 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Almost 700 years sober
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,887
Blog Entries: 4
Hello & Welcome Talz
Soberwolf is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 12:09 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Victoria, B.C
Posts: 21
Well, day two. I could hardly sleep last night, but I've pulled myself out of bed anyway. Normally I'd just sleep all day in a situation like this, but I've accepted that the same behaviors will lead to the same results and I need to completely revamp my unhealthy lifestyle one day at a time.

It's nice and sunny, so maybe I'll go check out some of that nature. :P

Thanks to everyone who's talked to me so far, I'd honestly be making plans to drink by now if it wasn't for you guys.
Talz is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Talz For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-02-2015), TroyW (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 01:01 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
ZaBoozer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Congrats on day two. Sleep will come with time. Good on you for getting some exercise in. Try to eat and drink plenty water n
ZaBoozer is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to ZaBoozer For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 02:11 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
INgal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 499
That's awesome, Talz! Keep up the good work!
INgal is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to INgal For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-02-2015)
Old 05-02-2015, 03:00 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,407
Blog Entries: 1
'grats on day 2 Talz

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 05-03-2015, 12:25 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Victoria, B.C
Posts: 21
Well, time for day three. It's usually day three or four when I fall off the horse, so I'm nervous. Meeting a friend for lunch soon. I'd normally have a few beers there, then grab as much as I can carry at the liquor store after because I can never just have a few. I'll try to just stick with water and just not let that roller coaster get started.
Talz is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Talz For This Useful Post:
TroyW (05-03-2015)
Old 05-03-2015, 12:29 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Why not maybe try to change plans, and cook your friend lunch at your place (assuming there's no alcohol in your place)? Or maybe go to a food truck and eat at a park, as food trucks don't have liquor license.

Either way, all the best, and hope it works out!
TroyW is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to TroyW For This Useful Post:
Talz (05-25-2015)
Old 05-25-2015, 08:20 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Victoria, B.C
Posts: 21
Well, I ended up going a week and found an excuse to let myself drink again. I lost hope and ended up going on a huge binge and have been drinking regularly again ever since. I thought maybe I could try again starting in June and I'd just drink as much as I wanted till May ended, but that's just an excuse and I know it.

I should have came right back, but I didn't. Had a rough night of drinking last night and called my dad, making a total idiot out of myself and now he's all worried and angry again.

I've had to accept what I already knew; no matter how many rules I make up I'll never be able to control my drinking because I'm an alcoholic. I can't drink just on weekends, I can't drink just socially, I can't put a limit on how much I will consume, and I can't control my behavior. When I drink I will blackout, I will drive, I will make a fool out of myself, I will not accomplish anything and all it does is add fuel to my already clinical depression.

I have to make it work this time...
Talz is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Talz For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-25-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:24 AM.