New here, quit drinking 2+ years ago
 

Hello everyone. I have been a regular visitor here for at least 2 years, perhaps close to 3 years. I tried to join shortly after my first visit, but I was blocked with a message that someone from my IP address had been banned from SR because he/she had made abusive posts, so I couldn't register. I found recently that I could now register on this site, so here I am. It was not me who made the abusive posts, so please don't kick me off SR.

A bit of background info about me:
First the good news: My last drink was in Dec 2012, i.e. 2 years and 4 months ago. I am happy now to not drink, I consider myself a non-drinker, just as I consider myself a non-smoker (never smoked).

Until the age of 60, I was a pretty light drinker, I was usually the designated driver when I went out with a group. However, I started to drink very heavily for a period of 5 years, starting at the age of 60 , heavily enough to end up in hospital 3 (or perhaps 4 times), including at least one seizure. After these hospital stays I had 4 periods in the local detox establishment, in 1 year.

I drank because I couldn't cope with the stress of my life, I needed to block out reality. My life had been pretty good until a few years ago, when I lost my job in the high-tech industry, amidst wide-spread lay-offs. I won't go into the details, but my life started go downhill after that (not because of the drinking - that started later). We made some poor financial decisions, including purchasing a small business. I started drinking after we had run the business for 3 years, mainly from the stress of watching my life savings go down the drain. We finally got out of the business after 8 years, before we had spent all savings. My wife and son (we all worked together in the business) eventually realized that we were were losing money, and wasting our lives trying to make a go of the business. The month we shut down the business , I stopped drinking. There were other things we had to fix up in our lives, but I could see positive things to live for once the business was out of our lives.

Life is good now. I am retired, and I do volunteer work tutoring high school kids in a disadvantaged area of town. Also I am taking courses at the local university - the courses are free for anyone over 65. Spring has finally reached this corner of Ontario, so I can start riding my bike again.

I appreciate reading posts from other people- especially I like the wide range of opinions on maintaining sobriety. I don't have any great wisdom to impart about quitting addiction. I know what worked for me, and what didn't. In case anyone is wondering, I did go to AA for 18 months, but I stopped attending meetings about 6 months after I quit drinking. I had a sponsor, and had been working the steps, but I never felt comfortable with AA. I told my sponsor I was leaving and thanked him for his time, and he was fine with that.

This is getting a bit long - so that's all for now.

Hi!! Glad you are here now. Did you do anything other than the AA to remain sober? I am fairly new so appreciate all advice :)

Good for you.

Your life sounds a lot simpler now and it seems like you are reaping the benefits.

I have completely simplified my life and it works.
Some might say its dull, but I am happy most of the time.
It's the best. Way to live in my book.

Nice to have you here.

I wish you the best

Welcome to SR :)

D

Great to meet you Mr P! I'm so glad you got your life back. Nice work on achieving 2 yrs. & 4 mos. We look forward to hearing more from you. :)

:welcome to SR. This is a great community here and I look forward to reading your posts

Sounds like that small business was nothing but trouble, nice to meet you.

I just typed a long reply and lost it all, so I will keep it briefer this time.

One thing that helped was going to group meetings for people with addiction problems that were run by by an organization in town, lead by a social worker. The group was specifically for people over 55, and I had a lot in common with the other group members. The social worker who ran the group was very good.

The main thing that helped was reorganizing my life. In addition to the business, there was another major source of stress in my life - my wife had always been something of a hoarder, but she had got more obsessive as time went on. About 6 years ago my wife's parents went into a nursing home, and my wife inherited 1/2 of her mother's considerable pile of stuff. We put some in storage, but most ended up in our small house, while my wife tried to decide what to keep. We ended up living for some years in squalor, surrounded by junk that I didn't want - it was impossible to keep the house even remotely livable, and I spent as much time as possible outside the house. Eventually the 2 of us had counselling sessions together, and my wife went to a weekly self-help group for hoarders. About 1.5 years ago we sold our house, moved to a nice clean condo, and got rid of stacks of furniture and junk.

I also go to weekly after-care meetings that are held in the evening at the detox establishment that I spent quite a lot of time in during my drinking days. The meeting are for people who have been thru detox, and for people who are currently in detox, but are due to go back out into the outside. The main point of the meetings is for the guys there to plan how they will stay away from drugs. I find the meeting interesting and useful.

Another long post.

Thanks Sasha, Yes, simplicity is wonderful, possessions can make your life un-necessarily complicated. See my other post about getting rid of a house-load of junk. Now we live with much less clutter, I can spend my time doing worthwhile things instead of dealing with stuff we never used.

Hello!!! So glad you are here!

Welcome to SR, Mr. Poutine! It's good to have you with us.

Welcome to the Forum MrPoutine!! :wave:

Hello & Welcome MrPoutine