Thought on moderation
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Thought on moderation
I haven't started a thread on here in awhile, but wanted to share this and also have it as something I could look back on for a reference when the AV flares up and tries to convince me moderation is possible.
I'm currently at an airport lounge and given how hyper aware I am with alcohol right now, realized how like everyone here is drinking. I've been dealing with tons of urges and cravings recently and have absolutely zero desire to drink right now.
I sat here and thought about that for awhile and realize that the reason I don't want anything now is because I don't have the option of getting drunk. I don't ever crave in moderation, I crave getting drunk and since I have a connecting flight and then have to drive, getting drunk is off the table. Having just one is completely on the table, but I now have a very clear realization that while I fantasize about moderation all the time, deep down, that's not what my brain actually wants.
Just figured I'd share that nugget. Have a nice weekend everyone!
I'm currently at an airport lounge and given how hyper aware I am with alcohol right now, realized how like everyone here is drinking. I've been dealing with tons of urges and cravings recently and have absolutely zero desire to drink right now.
I sat here and thought about that for awhile and realize that the reason I don't want anything now is because I don't have the option of getting drunk. I don't ever crave in moderation, I crave getting drunk and since I have a connecting flight and then have to drive, getting drunk is off the table. Having just one is completely on the table, but I now have a very clear realization that while I fantasize about moderation all the time, deep down, that's not what my brain actually wants.
Just figured I'd share that nugget. Have a nice weekend everyone!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Gainesville, Fla. USA
Posts: 12
Thanks for the nugget : )
I can completely relate to you. Every relapse I have ever had (and there have been MANY) was the result of me thinking I could "handle" alcohol. I, myself, had an occupation that required much time in airports so I know where you're coming from. I pray you get through this ok. If you have any further struggles than please keep posting, ok?
I can completely relate to you. Every relapse I have ever had (and there have been MANY) was the result of me thinking I could "handle" alcohol. I, myself, had an occupation that required much time in airports so I know where you're coming from. I pray you get through this ok. If you have any further struggles than please keep posting, ok?
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
I had a whole long reply typed out then my router of doom decided to cut out...argh.
Anyway, you're doing a brilliant job and I hope you are truly proud of yourself. I was thinking about my friend the other day who has a glass of wine with dinner at the weekends and my immediate thought was, "No one catches a buzz after one glass, what the heck" and then I realised that wow, not everyone drinks to get that numb, weird feeling or drinks to blacking out. It was another moment where things clicked a bit for me.
Have a safe trip :-)
Anyway, you're doing a brilliant job and I hope you are truly proud of yourself. I was thinking about my friend the other day who has a glass of wine with dinner at the weekends and my immediate thought was, "No one catches a buzz after one glass, what the heck" and then I realised that wow, not everyone drinks to get that numb, weird feeling or drinks to blacking out. It was another moment where things clicked a bit for me.
Have a safe trip :-)
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
A great point, for me too the idea of having "a drink" now sounds awful, I drank to get drunk and alcohol has no appeal unless I can do that.
The problem though was I wanted to drink as much as I could but without the consequences!!
Therein lay the issue that lead me to part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis!!
The problem though was I wanted to drink as much as I could but without the consequences!!
Therein lay the issue that lead me to part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis!!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
For years I never wanted to drink if I had to control it, that was NOT what I signed up for. What I didn't know for a long time is that I couldn't control it even if I had wanted to. Once I drink the option or choice is gone.
Then I got to a point that not drinking was no longer an option. I had to or the anxiety ate me alive. The only time I didn't drink was at work and that was pure torture. I called off a lot because I the thought of not drinking all day was more then I could cope with that day.
Then I got to a point that not drinking was no longer an option. I had to or the anxiety ate me alive. The only time I didn't drink was at work and that was pure torture. I called off a lot because I the thought of not drinking all day was more then I could cope with that day.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Ahh moderation. Sounds like the holy grail to me.
Most days started out with "I'm not going to drink at all today"
Then when I got home, it was "I'll just have one or two"
Then it was a trip to the store because I only bought a 6 pack and that was not enough for the day!
Even the days I managed to only have 2 or 3 drinks I always knew that tomorrow I was going to get hammered and I think that's the only reason it worked!
Most days started out with "I'm not going to drink at all today"
Then when I got home, it was "I'll just have one or two"
Then it was a trip to the store because I only bought a 6 pack and that was not enough for the day!
Even the days I managed to only have 2 or 3 drinks I always knew that tomorrow I was going to get hammered and I think that's the only reason it worked!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Thanks for the nugget, and I can definitely relate. One time, I even got off the plane during a layover, mid-trip. Was flying from Halifax to Edmonton, and we dropped down in Hamilton, Ontario for a quick pickup / drop off off passengers.
Since all my luggage was carry-on I decided, "this is good enough, I need a drink", got off the plane in Hamilton, grabbed a hotel, and proceeded to get plastered. Next day I had to buy a new plane ticket to get myself to Edmonton.
Since all my luggage was carry-on I decided, "this is good enough, I need a drink", got off the plane in Hamilton, grabbed a hotel, and proceeded to get plastered. Next day I had to buy a new plane ticket to get myself to Edmonton.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I'm currently at an airport lounge and given how hyper aware I am with alcohol right now, realized how like everyone here is drinking.
huh, sitting IN a bar and people are DRINKING??? go figure.
if you went to church, they'd be praying.
if you went to the gym, they'd be working out.
if you went to the grocery store, they'd all be shopping.
if you went to the barber shop, they'd be getting haircuts.
not to be snarky at all, and I am glad you had your revelation about moderation, but do consider the places you put yourself and how that choice will either SUPPORT staying sober or not.
huh, sitting IN a bar and people are DRINKING??? go figure.
if you went to church, they'd be praying.
if you went to the gym, they'd be working out.
if you went to the grocery store, they'd all be shopping.
if you went to the barber shop, they'd be getting haircuts.
not to be snarky at all, and I am glad you had your revelation about moderation, but do consider the places you put yourself and how that choice will either SUPPORT staying sober or not.
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