Need advise

Old 04-30-2015, 06:26 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 5
Need advise

Hi All-

I'm looking for advise. My husband has always been a drinker but recently I've watched his drinking escalate. He drinks everyday. I asked him to go to counseling so we could figure out a compromise for his drinking since he sees nothing wrong it. In fact he thinks I'm crazy and sometimes I feel like I'm crazy. Our counselor is not an specialized in addiction. On the second visit he asked my husband to either limit his drinking or stop since it's causing obvious issues in our relationship. Well that went over like a lead balloon. My H was irrate. Why would I ask him to stop something that he loves?!? After a few days he consented to limiting his drinks to 2 daily.

Honestly I knew this was a mistake since we've been down this road many times... He limits for a while then goes back to his old ways. Now I feel like he is hiding his drinking. Going to "lunch" at a sports bar where I'm sure he has a few then coming home and having a few more. Today he was at the sports bar from 3-6:30 then drives home. I know cause I followed him. His behavior has been very strange- gone for a week on a business trip and didn't call or text once. I'm sure he was having a no holes barred time.

I've been attending Alanon and reading posts everyday- educating myself as much as possible.

Here's my dilemma- my husband drives a company vehicle. I'm scared for him in many ways. I've asked him not to drive when he drinks but he's not being honest with where he's at and will argue that he wasn't drinking just having lunch...when he gets home the first thing he does is grab a beer or a drink. I would assume to cover the smell. I'm not sure how to talk to him, I'm sure he will get defensive and it will start a huge argument. We have 3 children and I don't want them to see this kind of stress. I'm at a loss. How do I move forward??
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Old 04-30-2015, 06:28 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I would suggest heading over to the Friends & Family section, as there's likely to be some folks over there in the same or very similar situations...

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Old 04-30-2015, 06:56 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,523

It sounds like picture perfect codependency. If you haven't already pick up Codependent No More by Melody Beady (spelling may be off)
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