| noinsanity2423 | 04-30-2015 02:44 PM |
New to This
Hi all. I recently broke off my engagement to my fiance because she was an alcoholic, a drug addict, and verbal abuser. She brought chaos into my life, and through counseling and my decision to leave, I've started to realize all of the destructive behaviors that caused me misery. I fell into codependency during the relationship because I didn't want to lose her. Every time she got drunk, I was always there to protect her, and eventually, it took a toll on me and put my own life in danger. It was really difficult focusing on school and holding a job when she needed me all the time or was pressuing me to go out and drink with her. She always said that she just needed to learn to control how much she drank, but she would black out after one or two drinks. My life became unmanageable, and I'm admitting that my relationship with her wasn't happy. I was expected to be the hero that would keep her safe while she went out and drank, and I refuse to be that person anymore. I left so she could decide when and if she wants to get better. In the meantime, I've had to realize that by helping her, I was enabling her to continue destroying herself. It hurts so much because she betrayed my trust and I thought all I needed to do was forgive. I loved this girl with all my heart, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy. I've realized that she was just never happy to begin with, and there's no one that can make her happy but herself. I posted a detailed version of my story and what she did in the "Friends and Family" section called, "I Left the Chaos," in case anyone wants to read it. | 