Sensitive issue

Old 04-29-2015, 06:09 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
She has no interest in my life...I am just the sounding board.
People like that don't stay in my life very long. Like you, it just totally drains me, and is unhealthy. Not to mention, also rude.

If you can't hold a proper conversation with me, and instead can only talk about yourself, then what's the point of the friendship? It's just basic energy, and you need a proper balance of give & take, or else it just won't work.
TroyW is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TroyW For This Useful Post:
ArtFriend (04-30-2015), Carlotta (04-29-2015), MsJax (04-29-2015)
Old 04-29-2015, 07:23 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Sober Alcoholic
awuh1's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,527
I have a contrary view to the advice above, unless of course she poses a very great and immediate danger to your sobriety and/or well being. If she does then self protection is most important.

If she poses no severe and immediate danger, then I think you should ask yourself an important question. Ask yourself if you have done everything you can to change how this tortured soul experiences the world. She is in so much pain that she has trouble thinking of others (you for example) and is obsessed with hate for those who she believes have caused her great pain.

Is this the sort of person you want to "unfriend" and refuse calls from? Have you done everything you can to help?

Consider saying something like this.>>>>>>>>>>>> "Hey, ya know I have been having difficulty recently because of all the negativity I hear when we talk. I understand how angry you are with your siblings, but you seem to be stuck on wanting revenge. Frankly I don't agree with revenge as a solution, and it's hard for me to listen to. Listening to the negativity is not good for me. I'd like to help you find a better solution to some of these problems. How can I do that?"

The ball is then in her court. If you are confident that she understands what you are saying, and she does not change the way she approaches the problem, THEN you might be at the point where you cannot help.

Can you honestly say you are there yet?

Be the change you want to be.
awuh1 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to awuh1 For This Useful Post:
ArtFriend (04-30-2015)
Old 04-29-2015, 07:43 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
kittycat3's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Blog Entries: 4
I like awuhs suggestion. Or you can say, "can we talk about another topic, about the positive things going in our lives?" Asserting yourself can be hard, but just suddenly blocking her and cutting her off without explanation is pretty harsh. Give her a chance to see how she impacts others and see how she responds.
kittycat3 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to kittycat3 For This Useful Post:
ArtFriend (04-30-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:07 AM.