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Will my kids forgive me?

Old 04-29-2015, 03:22 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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My mother kept taking drugs and drinking until the day she died. My grandma and grandad took me in but she had 3 other kids after me who all went into care who I'll never meet due to her choosing her addiction over real life. I didn't go to her funeral, I took the day off telling work I was and put a new driveway at the front of my house....it was the first good thing she ever really did for me getting me that day off work so I could do some DIY.

Make the right choices and don't become one of the bad statistics, I'm sure you love kids very much and they deserve to have the true you around. That's why I've quit and that's why you should stay quit.

Kids are filled with forgiveness they've not become cynical like us adults yet. The problem is if you do not do the right things as they move into adulthood they will gain resentments that last a long time like I did. They will forgive you quickly, in their eyes they probably already have but make the good changes now so you're youngest especially will never even remember what it was like to have a mum who drank.
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Old 04-29-2015, 03:23 AM
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someone said on my thread when my wife was going to take my kid away (think it was lexicat).....do the right thing now as there are no do-overs with your kids and you'll be left a long time with your regrets if you get it wrong.
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Old 04-29-2015, 04:37 AM
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Kids , will almost always forgive their parents for many things , including addictions...But , you must learn to forgive yourself too... Keep on rockin Serenidad! You got this!
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:33 AM
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I speak with one adult son (and that was just last month after 10 yrs.), His older brother I keep up with on FB. Funny, he only remembers the crack binge I went on for the summer of '99--I had to remind him I'm a raging alcoholic (actually I was sober most of his life while there) It can go either way but the power to keep it from going way bad is in your hands now.
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Old 04-29-2015, 06:12 AM
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my daughter is beginning to trust me now. she will be 15 soon - she left to go live with her dad at 13 due to my drinking.

she loves me. it's all I can ask and really all I need. do the next right thing and the right things will happen.

it's really good to hear from other mums. and heartfelt sympathy to those who lived through a parent's drinking.
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Old 04-29-2015, 06:17 AM
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When I achieved some measure of sobriety and was capable of beginning to understand and forgive myself, others slowly start healing as well.

It does not happen overnight as we all learn, but real change is possible if we do the work.
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Old 04-29-2015, 07:50 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MarathonMan View Post
My mother kept taking drugs and drinking until the day she died. My grandma and grandad took me in but she had 3 other kids after me who all went into care who I'll never meet due to her choosing her addiction over real life. I didn't go to her funeral, I took the day off telling work I was and put a new driveway at the front of my house....it was the first good thing she ever really did for me getting me that day off work so I could do some DIY. Make the right choices and don't become one of the bad statistics, I'm sure you love kids very much and they deserve to have the true you around. That's why I've quit and that's why you should stay quit. Kids are filled with forgiveness they've not become cynical like us adults yet. The problem is if you do not do the right things as they move into adulthood they will gain resentments that last a long time like I did. They will forgive you quickly, in their eyes they probably already have but make the good changes now so you're youngest especially will never even remember what it was like to have a mum who drank.
Thanks MM. I'm so sorry to hear your mom never got sober & wasn't there for you. That must have been really hard. :-(
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Old 04-29-2015, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by justinJustQuit View Post
My dad beat me, starved me, and locked me in closets when he was drinking. He drank until me and my three siblings were put in foster care and we lived the rest of our childhood in a group home. I still say "I love you" on the phone, and he gets to see his grandkid every now and then. Probably not the most upbeat post on this thread. Oh yeah and I forgave him.
I am soooo sorry that happen to you Justin. You didn't deserve that. What a strong person you must be to forgive your father.
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