jezzebelle
 

i'd like to be in a chat room where i can better understand the sober alcoholic

Are you a sober alcoholic Jezzabelle, or trying to live with / help one?

What is it you want to understand?

I'm sober. I go to chat, so do quite a few of us.

I feel a bit confused by your post?

Welcome Jezzebelle nice to meet you

Welcome,

I'm confused too. Can you explain what you would like?

Welcome to the Forum Jezzabelle!! :wave:

Thanks Purpleknight. It's nice to be welcomed! jezzebelle

Hi Beccybean,
i'm trying to understand my friend who is a sober alcoholic and won't talk about anything emotional. jezzebelle

Hi TennantSmith,
I was confused at first by how to navigate the forums but I'm getting there. I'm not an alcoholic but have a friend who is and how he behaves is a mystery to me. Jezzebelle

Hi Soberwolf,
if you had not asked me to be your friend when I entered the forum, I would have left this forum so thankyou. Jezzebelle

Hi Anna,
you have helped me to get started on the forum. I'm here to try and understand my friend, a sober alcoholic. I guess I thought that talking to other sober alcoholics might provide me with some insights. Jezzebelle

What kind of 'emotions' is he not able to / prepared to talk about.

Some alcoholics get sober, but not recovered. They don't find a way of dealing with the pain; fear; anger; etc. that they used to mask with alcohol. It can be a painful place to be. I was there myself for a little while. :( Talking about emotions while still in that state can be almost impossible. Especially to someone who is involved with us. I went to a counsellor and managed to talk to her for hours and hours over the months and still only touched on the edges of mine. (AND convinced myself I was 'opening up' haha.)

Hi Beccybean,
that reply is so helpful. It helps me understand where he's at. He won't allow himself to feel anger, sadness, sexual love, fear or joy. When the feelings start to come into him, his body starts to shake and then he quickly stuffs them down. I watch this happen.

I could speak to him about how he has treated his women but I don't sense he is ready to talk about this or hear a woman's point of view. He has no sisters. I wonder how long I'll have to wait until he is ready to hear what I want to say? I am patiently waiting until I sense the time is right and still I am waiting.

Jezzabelle,
You can go over to the friends and family of Alcoholics forum. You can post your question over there. They might also be able to help you and give you some advice.

Welcome, and good for you for reaching out to help (you) and your friend!!

Welcome to the Forum Jezzabelle!!

You'll find loads of support and advice here on SR, great to have you onboard!! :)

That's a shame Jezzabelle.
Is he getting an support? AA really helped me, but there are other organisations / ways to go.

x

Hi Beccybean,
My friend went once to an AA meeting about 10 years ago but he didn't like being with so many people. He's a bit of a loner. He won't return to AA even tho his mum begs him ....
What other ways are there for him to get help? He won't go to counselling!I've suggested that.
Jezzebelle

Jezzebelle, there are many ways to stop drinking and recover, but the most important thing is that your friend must want it for himself. You can't make him want to stop drinking, as much as you wish you could. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself and you will find support in the Friends & Families forum.

Thanks Anna, I'll go find my way to the Friends and Families forum but I'll still post on these threads cos I like what people say. Jezzebelle