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Tomorrow is my first AA meeting....

Old 04-28-2015, 09:09 PM
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Most who attend AA for the first time find it to be very supporting and usually if alcoholic We hear stories told there that remind us of ourselves. No need to share or do anything else there if you don't feel like it.

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Old 04-28-2015, 09:14 PM
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I see you are in Texas, if you are a Christian it might also be worth checking Celebrate Recovery. It s a Christian based 12 step program. I ve never went (not a Christian) but some members on SR go and like it. I think they have a big meeting and people meet in smaller groups.
They have lots of meetings in Texas and I don't think they sign court slips and even if they did, most court mandated people go to AA because it is the most common support group
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/
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Old 04-28-2015, 09:16 PM
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my problem with aa

I used to go to AA. I hate the part about making amends. I just think some things are better left unsaid, like sleeping around ect... I have done some crazy stuff drunk. Things that I have to hide. Also, I hate it when they talk about all the drunk times. Sometimes it makes me wanna drink. Also, I hate it when dudes hit on you, maybe the women's group would be best. I just never wanted AA. Maybe I am wrong and what else are we supposed to do? Church I suppose.
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Old 04-28-2015, 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by elaine45 View Post
I used to go to AA. I hate the part about making amends. I just think some things are better left unsaid, like sleeping around ect... I have done some crazy stuff drunk. Things that I have to hide. Also, I hate it when they talk about all the drunk times. Sometimes it makes me wanna drink. Also, I hate it when dudes hit on you, maybe the women's group would be best. I just never wanted AA. Maybe I am wrong and what else are we supposed to do? Church I suppose.
You obviously have not worked the steps with a sponsor or you would know about what amends are, how they are done and when they are not to be done directly.
The 9th step specifically states :"unless when to do so would injure them or others"... meaning that if you cheated on your partner and it would hurt him to hear about it then it is better not to say anything and just make a living amend by remaining sober and not cheating again.

I hate to tell you but with your recent DUI, the judge might just give you a choice between attending AA and jail time.
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Old 04-28-2015, 09:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Mysusnshine View Post
After so many times of getting out of AA (from my husband) I have finally gone to my first meeting. It was not at all what I was expecting. I was the only female (other than the meeting host) and felt a little like an outsider. I was even more surprised to see that all but two other members where forced there by the court. I guess I had thought that people that go to these meetings where there on their own willingness to become better. I can say that a couple of them seem to have truly benefited from this program. I left feeling a little mad and disappointed and determined to find a women's group. However after a little more thought I think I'll give this misfit group another shot. My husband was allowed to come to the meeting and was told by other members about a family meeting that happens on Friday nights.
Thank you call for your support I will keep y'all posted on my steps forward.
Meetings are like bars in that every one has it's own atmosphere and a general 'kind' of people that goes. I know of meetings in Cambridge that are full of older academic / bookish types. I also know of ones in Cambridge that tend to be frequented to people who are semi-homeless and live quite a chaotic life despite being sober. There is the young people's one that feels different again. There is also a candlelit meeting in a very lovely book-lined room. My home meeting in the next city has a good mix of ladies and men, religious and not, old and young, working and retired. This is my favourite meeting and arriving there is like stepping into a warm bath. Saying that, I also go to one in another town which is very friendly and sanity inducing.

There are lots of types of meeting. (The person leading the meeting is also a member by the way. It's just one of many ways to do service along with putting chairs out; washing up; ordering book; looking after the money etc. - so there was another female member there). The best thing is to try lots of meetings and find people you can relate to and ask which ones they go to.

I always feel bad for the people forced by court to attend AA. It doesn't no-one any good to be forced into it. You can't force someone to think a certain way, or to get sober when they don't want to. If someone had made me go before I was ready it could easily have done more harm than good. Lucky for me I managed to not get into the kind of trouble that could get me arrested. (Luck though. Just luck. I did some horrible things and hurt people. Courts just don't care about that kind of hurting). Saying that, I have met some amazing people who have told me that was why they first attended, and that it did help them turn their lives around.

Anyway - I hope it didn't put you off too much. Good luck at your next meeting. x
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Old 04-28-2015, 09:48 PM
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I always feel bad for the people forced by court to attend AA
I don't. I think it is important to learn to face the consequences of our actions.

I am against signing court slips though because I think it is a violation of constitutional rights and also of our traditions but my HG voted to sign them so I sign them when I secretary. We do not get that many court mandated folks though. We are a very diverse group about 50/50 male and females with different races, religions and nationalities. I love my home group.
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Old 04-28-2015, 10:21 PM
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I have never seen anyone made to go to AA. Usually one is given a choice, no drivers license or jail or maybe even no wife or husband if one Chooses not to go to AA.

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Old 04-29-2015, 01:56 AM
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Originally Posted by elaine45 View Post
I used to go to AA. I hate the part about making amends. I just think some things are better left unsaid, like sleeping around ect... I have done some crazy stuff drunk. Things that I have to hide..
I'm not sure about you, but them " secrets"...the insane actions while drunk I didn't want to remember but couldn't forget, that stuff left unsaid......
Helped keep me drunk.
Today I am free as I have cleared away the wreckage of my past.I have no secrets haunting me any more. I was quite relieved to share it with a closed mouth individual and also learn there was nothing I ever did or said that was unique. All been done and said before.
I am free of it and now my past is a very valuable possession I have.

And if it wasn't for being court ordered a while before I was ready to get sober, I don't know if I would have ended up in AA. Court ordering me planted a seed and when I was ready I knew where to turn.
No need to feel sorry or bad for me being court ordered there. No one forced me to drink and face the consequences.
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:26 AM
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The most important meeting is the second one
Good for you on taking the initiative!

keep coming back!!
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:38 AM
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U have a very nice husband. I hope it all works well for u both
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Old 04-29-2015, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Carlotta View Post
I see you are in Texas, if you are a Christian it might also be worth checking Celebrate Recovery. It s a Christian based 12 step program. I ve never went (not a Christian) but some members on SR go and like it. I think they have a big meeting and people meet in smaller groups.
They have lots of meetings in Texas and I don't think they sign court slips and even if they did, most court mandated people go to AA because it is the most common support group
Just some insight on Celebrate Recovery. I have been in and out of the program for 5 years when I hit bottom a little over two months ago - due to a DUI.
Anyway, I am in a step study and attend large group meetings weekly - it's truly been amazing. The love and support I receive is awesome. Your husband is always welcome to attend with you - they offer support for him as well.
Usually a meeting starts with worship, a lesson or testimony and then we break out in small groups - gender specific for issues - chemical addition, food addictions, etc. Afterwards there is a social time to meet others.
By the grace of God, I am a little over 60 days sober. This program has been life changing for me and will not only save my marriage and my family. It will save my life.
Praying for you. Your story sounds like mine. My problem was binge drinking with wine. You can do this!!! One day at a time...
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