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I went back out...and it was awful!

Old 04-27-2015, 02:28 AM
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I went back out...and it was awful!

I really need SR support.

I went out this weekend and ruined my sobriety. Drank on Friday, complete binge. Did it again yesterday. I am desperate to stop this insanity, but i truly don't know how? Yesterday i drank again and now I cant even face myself. I just wanted to post to be honest and start again, I hope....
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Old 04-27-2015, 02:38 AM
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What have you been doing for for your recovery til now Drea?

D
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Old 04-27-2015, 02:43 AM
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I went back out countless times, until I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Start again.
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Old 04-27-2015, 03:23 AM
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Here's the great thing. You CAN stop the insanity. You don't have to "stay out." Come back at it with a plan.

Sending good thoughts your way. You can turn this around. Thanks for sharing, and wishing you a good return to sobriety.
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Old 04-27-2015, 04:08 AM
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Hi.
The big thing I found out when I was drinking is I cannot drink in safety. Many years later, I still can’t!
My sobriety started when I became sick and tired of being sick and tired AND decided I will go to any length to achieve sobriety for myself. I/we need to be honest with our self about our drinking AND accept the fact we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row even when we want to.

Then the daily work began, not the wishy washy I don’t like this or that, if not continue on with the misery.

I needed lots of meetings with people who understood and were ready to help, similar to this site but long before the internet. At those meetings, every day for me, I needed to be involved and KEEP COMING. It works IF we work it.

Something I needed to repeat during the day that helped me is “If I don’t pick up that first drink, I won’t have to TRY to get sober AGAIN.

BE WELL
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Old 04-27-2015, 04:40 AM
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Drea you said "I went back out". Did you literally do that? If so why not stay home for the early part of your recovery?
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Old 04-27-2015, 05:00 AM
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When I really wanted the insanity to be over. When I was willing to do anything to make sure it would never happen again I was ready to take certain steps. I tried to find an easier way but I couldn't.

In the beginning I went to an AA meeting almost every day and did not drink in between meetings.

Quitting drinking requires action. It is what we do that makes a difference not what we think.

You can do this!
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Old 04-27-2015, 05:51 AM
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Thank you for your responses and kind words! Dee, I was not doing the work, that is for sure. I was trying to stay away from going out but I didn't do it for long, when I should have gone to meetings, I made excuses. I am sick to my stomach today because I just started a new job last week and I am staying home due to the awful hangover and depression. I never want to miss work again over this madness. I agree, I can't be going out, but literally, boredom scares me, but, its true, I can't drink safely. I can't. And I do want to quit more than I want any of this. I do think meetings will be the best idea for me, I have gone in the past and liked them, but sometimes I think they make me want to drink more. Do you have any other suggestions on what to do in early sobriety. I want off this merry go round! Thank you
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:04 AM
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Originally Posted by DreaJean View Post
Thank you for your responses and kind words! Dee, I was not doing the work, that is for sure. I was trying to stay away from going out but I didn't do it for long, when I should have gone to meetings, I made excuses. I am sick to my stomach today because I just started a new job last week and I am staying home due to the awful hangover and depression. I never want to miss work again over this madness. I agree, I can't be going out, but literally, boredom scares me, but, its true, I can't drink safely. I can't. And I do want to quit more than I want any of this. I do think meetings will be the best idea for me, I have gone in the past and liked them, but sometimes I think they make me want to drink more. Do you have any other suggestions on what to do in early sobriety. I want off this merry go round! Thank you
You can stay home for a while and not be bored. What do you enjoy? I'm eight days sober and I've got back into painting and reading for the first time in a long time!

If you like meetings, then I'd recommend trying a bunch of different meetings to find the right fit for you. I like early morning meetings personally!
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:08 AM
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Gotta change it up on all fronts. If you are truly ready to embrace sobriety, you must make that firm choice and support your choice across all aspects of your life.

It takes work and commitment. Change and ACTION.

You can do it. I have tried and failed and tried and failed, too. When I finally got serious and began to do the work of real change, it worked. And it is great.
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:09 AM
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Hi DreJean you can print off these links they are very useful http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html (theres lots of help in the entire thread)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Keep checking in reach out anytime you hear your AV making noise and good idea with mtns dreajean
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:14 AM
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Thank you guys! I can make this happen, I have accomplished so much in my life and I really want this, I can't, simply can't go on like this! Step 1 here I am. I am excited to read the suggestions and will find a meeting starting today. Thank you!
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:17 AM
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Hi DreJean you can print off these links they are very useful http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html (theres lots of help in the entire thread)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Keep checking in reach out anytime you hear your AV making noise and good idea with mtns dreajean
There are101 suggestions which ones are you going start doing today? Sobriety is about action not thinking. Worrying about boredom and AA is thinking. Going to an AA meeting or starting a hobby is about action.
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:34 AM
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Don't give up.

At times our worst experience can turn out to be our best experience. Why ? Because it was so convincing.

MM
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Old 04-27-2015, 07:37 AM
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Originally Posted by DreaJean View Post
I want off this merry go round!
I was on that merry go round for years! It's an absolutely horribly lonely place to be, and I am never going back there. I jumped off the merry go round 6 days ago, and I am already feeling good about myself, and my decision. The only way you will stop putting yourself down and beating yourself up is if you get off the merry go round. We can do this!
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Old 04-27-2015, 09:40 AM
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That's great Cauliflower! Congrats, and yes we can do it! I just got back from a womens AA meeting that went very well! I have my new 24 hour chip, and I asked someone to sponsor me, and she said she would. I plan to go the 90 meetings in 90 days. I feel very happy I went. Also, they told me to go to other meetings and make sure I let them know I am a newbie. I think that will greatly help as I tend to try to pretend to be in control. Does that sound familiar Thanks everyone!
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Old 04-27-2015, 09:52 AM
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(((((DreaJean))))) you lady are awesome !
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Old 04-27-2015, 09:55 AM
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Heck ya that sounds familiar!
WAY TO GO for hitting up that meeting. Awesome.

Come and join us in the Class in April 2015. It's in this newcomers to recovery thread. Cauliflower, myself, and other very nice people who have decided to jump off the merry-go-round in April are there.

Seats open. Pull up a chair and join us!
We would love your company.

Oh....and 90 meetings in 90 days sounds awesome. I'm excited for you.
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Old 04-27-2015, 10:21 AM
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Oh, come and join us! It's a much funner ride!
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Old 04-27-2015, 10:44 AM
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Thanks you guys!! Really appreciate it! I will go join in now!! This really helped, I'm so glad I posted and didn't go back into denial! April is a good month, its my birthday month and I need to give myself this gift! Thank you all, so enjoying reading SR today, knowing I"m not alone really helps!
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