Not sure what to do
 

My previous post discusses some of my problem, but my recent problem is that I have been working hard... Very hard at work. Today, all I wanted to do was nothing. I slept in late, until 9:30am and just read and surfed the internet for a couple of hours after church... Then i was still tired so I took a nap. At night I completed my chores (laundry, dishes etc)... Problem is that bc it was a gorgeous day, my husband didn't understand why i wasnt gardening or running or painting, things that I like. Everytime I tale a break, he accuses of being depressed amd keeps asking what is wrong. When I tell him nothing, he doesnt believe me. He says that I never tell him what Im thinking and I always hide my feelings. Truth is, sometimes I just need a break. We have had several losses and several things to worry about lately and I dint know why he keeps on me about feeling depressed. I am not depressed most of the time!

When I was actively using I could feel when I was getting depressed but now that I'm sober I can't feel it but I notice symptoms. Apathy is part of depression so it is easy to understand why he would think that. I find I have to schedule my lazy time where I will lay down and watch tv for a brief period (usually until I feel it's time to get up). I try to only have 2 breaks a day and then spend the rest of my time in something I love like art! For me though my break times were excessive and I began obsessing about drinking and being miserable. I decided to go back onto my anti depressant after talking to my psychiatrist and I've been doing so much better since! Happy travels!

part of my problem was that i was an overachieving , perfectionist who was very self critical .

I try to bring the spirit of recovery into all areas of my life , trying to find balance between work and rest is important for instance .

After getting sober i shot for the stars career wise. I achieved it but was extremely tired working 12 or 14 hour days .

I've now found a job near the beach for 8 hour days and with only a 10 min commute several £1000's less a year but recovery has helped me focus on what i need as opposed to what is discretionary about the time of my life .

living in a low cost of living area will really help take the pressure off ..

I hope you find the right balance for you , the husband will get used to it after a few weeks and if you'd be happier then it's all for the good :)

take care , m

Thank you guys. Im going through this ivf-like process since our bio son died from a genetic disease. I had my first transfer but miscarried 2 weeks ago. I wasnt upset... I just kind of went numb. So did he... We shelled out about 20k this year in adoption and the ivf process. We now have to go through it again. I don't know what to feel, nor does he... Just disappointments stacked on disappointments but we keep going along hoping for more next time. We are both kind of apathetic at this point. Plenty is good in our lives too... Like having jobs that pay enough to afford that ;)

(((((Clean4Once)))))

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It's understandable that both you and your husband are trying to find your way.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your child and have also miscarried. I don't think a person can go through any worse pain. Sounds like your hubby is concerned for you and loves you.