philly76

I feel bad because I really think I need to cut off some really good friends. They've been supportive. They're not enablers. But I use them to enable myself. They'll grab pizza with me because they know I need an alternative to the bars. But I also know they're out at the bars right now and a good time.

They're not going to tell me no. Most aren't alcoholics and don't know what I'm dealing with, and they're not my therapist. So I can't pretend they'll stop me from joining them. I know they'll understand, even if I just say, "I need some alone time."

But it's the alone time that sucks. I guess I need to meet some people who've found equal social alternatives to the bar. I'm really apprehensive about AA. I don't want to talk about where I've been, I want to charge headfirst into a gratifying world free of booze.

I joined Philly Gets Fit on Meetup.com, and I'm going to my first next weekend. They meet a couple times a week and I think it'll be a good place to meet people with social lives outside bars. I'm really not opposed to support groups, I just really don't like the AA model. I feel like I'm not even allowed to say that which is exactly why I don't like it.

As for my friends, I really hope I can reconnect with them sober in a few months. Until then I'm hoping to meet a few good eggs here or in that Meetup.com group.

greens

That was one of the hardest things fir me, I wanted to start doing new things when I quit drinking aND I felt like some of my friends were holding me back. They weren't Bad people and I've actually reconnected with a few but at the time I needed sPace And growth.
meet up dot Com is a great way to meet new people! I've just recently joined where I live And have had a wonderful time . I've also gotten involved with other organizations (volunteering etc) to fill up my time.
best of luck!

Marcher13

I think the Philly Gets Fit meeting is a great idea. philly do you have some interests you are actively pursuing? There is a world of difference between solitude and loneliness -- perhaps music, books, art?

JaneLane

Hi Philly,

I only have one or two sober friends and there are fortunately only a few people that I have had to distance myself from. That being said, community is really important for me in recovery.

You don't have to attend AA meetings at all, there are other sober groups out there and as you said, Meetup.com is a good place to organise a new social life! I have attended a bunch of groups through there and met some cool people.

This is a wonderful community and welcome :-)

philly76

Yeah, I'm pursuing a personal trainer certification from ACE. One of the biggest reasons I want to go to the Philly Gets Fit meeting is to network with them and maybe volunteer there. My new job is great, and I've been struggling to find one, but I can't spend my life in a cubicle, especially if I want to remain sober.