Proud of myself, despite slight slip-up
 

Hi, so yesterday I had a birthday party and of course one of the gifts my closest relatives provide me with is this big basket of beers, because they still remember how I liked to indulge in the A-word, from the two christmasses past. And then of course there was a card attached to it, like: you can't enjoy beer in heaven, so best drink it here.

In short it was really bitter for me, to get confronted with something I used to love so much and has now made my life very difficult. Yet, I didn't want to be rude, when they asked me to have a bottle, so I drank half a glass( it had very low alcohol-percentage), yet... very slowly, one sip at the time. And even after that, my liver got slightly upset.

Anyways, I then proceeded to drink water for the rest of the evening and actually genuinly enjoyed myself, even going as far as musing about how the round beer glass with the water in it resembled a fish bowl( I say the weirdest stuff sometimes, I swear.) I had fun, I didn't pass out or get tired and most importantly: I contained myself, despite being surrounded by a whole selection of beers and different types of wine, knowing that no-one would really take notice of what I consumed.

So, despite having had half a drink, I want to say I'm proud, proud for keeping my dignity, for being brave enough to resist temptation, because it did exist.:a122: I now give all my beers to my brother, so he can have a little fun once in a while.:jester:

At the same time, I still have this jealousy toward "normal" drinkers, like I feel a twinge in my stomach everytime my brother goes to some night-club or whenever everybody's drinking at a party, like yesterday. Still, I'm all the better without all the hangover-drama, I guess.

So yeah, just wanted to announce this stupid little thing, cheerio and good night to you. And, oh right, I forgot::tyou to everyone who helped me in the past months. It means a hell of a lot.

I'm a little worried that this will show you that you "can" drink in moderation so you'll just keep drinking. I hope I'm wrong here.

I'm accept the fact that I can't drink any alcohol, ever. It just doesn't work with me. I experimented many, many times with only drinking a little bit. I'm sure you can guess the outcome.

I know you want to feel proud and I don't want to diminish that :)

That being said, I really had to get past my unease about refusing drinks.

I had to learn to say 'no thanks I don't drink/anymore' and I had to learn to be ok with the looks of disappointment I'd sometimes get.

Think about it anyway - it might help you next time someone offers you a beer :)

D