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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 3
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Hi all
This is my first post, having a difficult day. I have been sober since December today is my sister's anniversary she passed away from cancer age 45. I am finding it difficult not to think about having a drink any suggestions on how to deal with days like this would be helpful.
Thank you
This is my first post, having a difficult day. I have been sober since December today is my sister's anniversary she passed away from cancer age 45. I am finding it difficult not to think about having a drink any suggestions on how to deal with days like this would be helpful.
Thank you
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 390
((((hugs)))) I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Is there anything you can do to help you remember her, in a positive way? Activities she enjoyed, a favorite flower you could take to the gravesite, a song she loved that may help you remember her?
You've already taken a great step: You came here. You shared. You reached out. That goes a long way and shows your dedication to sobriety.
Is there anything you can do to help you remember her, in a positive way? Activities she enjoyed, a favorite flower you could take to the gravesite, a song she loved that may help you remember her?
You've already taken a great step: You came here. You shared. You reached out. That goes a long way and shows your dedication to sobriety.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome hardchoices, I am sorry to hear about your sister....these kinds of days can be really rough. A couple of thoughts....first off, you are much better off honoring or remembering her life sober....getting drunk will just make you sadder. Additionally, you'll have the regret and shame of tomorrow, or whenever you eventually sober up.
Maybe you could do something special on her behalf instead? Plant some flowers, share good memories with family and friends perhaps? Being strong and staying sober in her honor would be a gift in itself.
Maybe you could do something special on her behalf instead? Plant some flowers, share good memories with family and friends perhaps? Being strong and staying sober in her honor would be a gift in itself.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hello & Welcome HC
Im am really sorry for your loss maybe you could take up Michelle's & Scott's suggestion of planting some of her favorite flowers and spending time with your friends & family celebrating & remembering her life
Have you seen this section it will help to get it off your chest & on the page Grief and Loss - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Passing anniversaries are never easy but are made easier with friendship & support
Your not alone & im really glad you found us bud
Im am really sorry for your loss maybe you could take up Michelle's & Scott's suggestion of planting some of her favorite flowers and spending time with your friends & family celebrating & remembering her life
Have you seen this section it will help to get it off your chest & on the page Grief and Loss - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Passing anniversaries are never easy but are made easier with friendship & support
Your not alone & im really glad you found us bud
But I agree with the others. Drinking won't help anything and will only make things worse. Stay sober in her honor. You won't regret it. learning to live
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,665
(((hard)))
I am sorry to hear about your loss. Congrats on your sober time.
I bet your sister is looking down on you very proudly. She would most likely tell you not to give up & you are worth it if she were here with you physically
You can do this!!!! Make it through today and tomorrow is a new day. Stay close OK? Hugs!!!
I am sorry to hear about your loss. Congrats on your sober time.
I bet your sister is looking down on you very proudly. She would most likely tell you not to give up & you are worth it if she were here with you physically
You can do this!!!! Make it through today and tomorrow is a new day. Stay close OK? Hugs!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm sorry for your loss hardchoices.
As hard as it is I really believe in letting ourselves grieve. That's the way to process loss and to, in time, learn to live with it.
Drinking halts the grieving process. We might get a little respite but then the pain returns, so we drink some more...nothing gets resolved...it's like we're in a holding pattern, a raw loop of pain.
Dealing with loss without our usual crutch is hard - but you';re not alone here. There's a ton of support.
Welcome aboard
As hard as it is I really believe in letting ourselves grieve. That's the way to process loss and to, in time, learn to live with it.
Drinking halts the grieving process. We might get a little respite but then the pain returns, so we drink some more...nothing gets resolved...it's like we're in a holding pattern, a raw loop of pain.
Dealing with loss without our usual crutch is hard - but you';re not alone here. There's a ton of support.
Welcome aboard
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
So sorry!
But you will no commemorate to your sisters memory if you drink.
The best way to honour her to me is going to church and put a candle and tell her how much you love her...take flowers to her grave... Tell your love ones how much you love them Today… do something special on her memory…
I lost my brother too many years ago and I throw flowers in the sea every year (we cremated him and put his ashes in the see and my grandma and my dog)
And I think I want to do things that he will never get to do on his name.
I run a marathon and hid a flower and when I passed the peer I throw it in the sea and told him I was doing it for both of us.
I know is hard but your AV will use it to drag you to drink.
Do not leave that little devil of your shoulder win.
She certainly would like you to stay sober!!!
But you will no commemorate to your sisters memory if you drink.
The best way to honour her to me is going to church and put a candle and tell her how much you love her...take flowers to her grave... Tell your love ones how much you love them Today… do something special on her memory…
I lost my brother too many years ago and I throw flowers in the sea every year (we cremated him and put his ashes in the see and my grandma and my dog)
And I think I want to do things that he will never get to do on his name.
I run a marathon and hid a flower and when I passed the peer I throw it in the sea and told him I was doing it for both of us.
I know is hard but your AV will use it to drag you to drink.
Do not leave that little devil of your shoulder win.
She certainly would like you to stay sober!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Southbridge, MA
Posts: 58
Welcome, hardchoices. I'm sorry to hear about your loss and suffering. Congratulations on your sobriety; your sister would be so proud! Please check back and check in as you're able to; you'll always find support here.
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