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How bad off am I

Old 04-26-2015, 05:21 AM
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How bad off am I

I never drank until I was 23. Even then it was very little. I got divorced at 32, and ended up as a single Mom. I would have a glass of wine or beer per night just to relax. It wasn't every night, and I could take it or leave it.

Then things got worse. I had lots of life stressors and alcohol just helped. I would say that I drank about 2-3 drinks per night for the past 6 years. (I'm almost 40) This was average. I liked wine or whiskey, sometimes beer. Some nights it was one drink, some nights many more. Some nights nothing. But there were fewer and fewer days that I would not have a drink.

I had two truly scary blackout sessions. I made sure that I drank at home, so I wouldn't embarrass myself. I would rarely drink in public with friends. Alcohol put me to sleep after 2 drinks or I got way too chatty.

I was a night time drinker. I didn't like to drink Until after dinner or maybe while preparing dinner.

Fast forward, I was in a car accident and suffered a concussion 4 months ago. I had to stop drinking cold turkey. It was no problem for me... Maybe. I don't crave alcohol, I miss it. But I can see people drinking and not desire it. My fiancÚ has even cut severely. A bottle of wine would last in this house about 2 days, now it lasts for a week or two. I haven't touched a drop since My Diagnosis of the concussion which was a week after the accident. In between the accident and diagnosis, I only had 2 drinks that entire week.

About 2 weeks after the accident, I spiraled into severe depression and anxiety, which is not yet controlled. I am in therapy and on anti-depressants and a benzo. I have not had a "good day" since this all started.

So, what caused what? Did a pre existing anxiety condition cause me to drink? Or did my drinking cause my anxiety?

I am so scared that I will never lead a normal life and be able to be happy again. Interested in Hearing anything someone has to say. I am desperate for reassurance or the worst news that my life is ruined forever.
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:07 AM
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I'm not sure if anyone here can give a definitive answer to this. It's definitely possible that you began to medicate anxiety issues with alcohol. But it's also inevitable that drinking will exacerbate anxiety and depression, so it truly becomes a chicken-and-egg question, doesn't it?

I don't know if finding the 'source' is really important at this point. What's crucial is to move forward and treat your issues as they are now. Staying away from alcohol is obvious, and it seems that you're on the right path by going to therapy. Keep in mind that medications and the right anti-depressant/amount can always be tweaked going forward to find what works for you (medically supervised, of course).

What has your doctor/therapist said about this?
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:15 AM
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My therapist feels I will recover, but it is so hard to believe that when I in such emotional anguish. (Constant fear, shaking, etc.)

I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak, and never had appropriate coping mechanisms in my life. The car accident blindsided me, literally (I never saw it coming as I was T-boned and blacked out almost instantly). It really changed my outlook on life and I am struggling to accept that I have no real control in life.
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:23 AM
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Hi Want,

I have mental health issues including anxiety and take medication.
There are a couple of things I can share from my own experience that might help.
I like to remember that medication is just a tool. If I stop working on myself or ask for help when I need it, then things won't change. I like therapy in conjunction with the medication. It helped me quite a bit.
Also, during my drinking, my medication was basically rendered useless. Alcohol is a depressant so it's no wonder my mind was mashed and I felt awful!
Finally, i was having panic attacks every night like clockwork, I also didn't leave the house for two months when I had a breakdown and I was very self destructive. I'm now in a position where I go out everyday, can go into new situations without panicking entirely and I sleep better. So things can change and getting sober is a great step!
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by WantToBeMe View Post

So, what caused what? Did a pre existing anxiety condition cause me to drink? Or did my drinking cause my anxiety?
In many cases it will be a little of both.
But for sure, drinking for most only adds to their anxiety.
Seems to work good at first but, for many a price to pay later.
MM
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:32 AM
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Welcome, glad you're here!

Reads like your future tripping - common among us who drank or for those who still do!!!

Step one - remove alcohol from the equation today.
Step two - let step one add up to some weeks and months
Step three - keep in consult with a physician and then see where you are!

No one here can answer your questions. Reassurance starts with sobriety. Many find that anxiety is ameliorated by removing alcohol and other substances from our biology

Keep coming back!
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:41 AM
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I had a life-threatening illness that caused me similar problems. It was about a year before I was happy again. The good news is that I rebounded happier than before. Life-threatening situations can bring about a clarity of mind that brings inner peace after you have had time to mentally "process" the event.

I think you are doing the right thing by avoiding alcohol and seeing a therapist. Have patience and faith.
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:41 AM
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Just to be clear, my last drink of alcohol was December 20, 2014 and that was half a beer. I haven't had a single drop in over 4 months. I had no problems quitting whatsoever.
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:45 AM
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Are you having a difficult time in life not drinking? Are you waiting for the day you can drink again?

There are methods people use for this: Rational Recovery, AVRT, SMART, Life Ring, SOS, Women for Sobriety and AA to name a few.

When I drank, alcohol was my solution to living life. Without alcohol, I had untreated alcoholism. I drank at night after work and I had no physical problems when I stopped. I still had untreated alcoholism. I happen to work those 12 steps, but as I mentioned, there are other methods to use, too!
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:55 AM
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I could care less if I ever drink again. I seriously crave coffee and root beer more
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Old 04-26-2015, 08:58 AM
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Welcome friend
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Old 04-26-2015, 09:30 AM
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Welcome to the Forum!!
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Old 04-26-2015, 02:49 PM
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I think it depends a lot on whether you were anxious before you started drinking in earnest or not.

If you were then obviously there;s an issue there.

If not, then I think you need to give yourself time - 6 years more or less nightly (or at least regular) drinking if I read you right?

some people recover quickly, others take a little longer to recover physically and mentally.

welcoem aboard anyway - you'll find support here.
D
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