Scared1234

When I think about life without alcohol and why I have such a hard time abstaining, I almost freak out at the thought of not drinking at night when the house is quiet and I'm relaxing playing some video games or watching a movie. Or putting on an album while drunk. Everything is so much more fun and laid back. And I love to do it when all my responsibilities for the day are complete and I got all night to myself. And if it's on the weekend, I know I can do all those things at night, get blasted, and sleep in the next day next to some Advil and Gatorade with no work to worry about. Too bad my hangovers completely ruin me nowadays. Panic and anxiety with hangovers are the worst

Sorry I'm rambling. My main question is How did you learn to keep enjoying things like music/movies/video games/unwinding at night without alcohol? They all seem so bland without alcohol. It's like someone forgot to add the salt y'know?

Pouncer

You have to appreciate that if you keep drinking, you won't be around to enjoy music, movies and games anyway. At least, that worked for me.

MelindaFlowers

This was the first thing that popped into my head by just reading the title of your thread.

I wasn't enjoying weekends while drinking! I lost hundreds of weekends in a cold sweat on the couch too tired and sick to open my eyes but too fidgety to sleep or rest.

My weekends were hell when I was drinking.

If I spend tomorrow watching mold grow on a loaf of bread hangover-free it will look like Disneyland compared to the hangovers of the past.

Dee74

This is one of those things where you'll never know what it's like until you experience it.

If that sounds like a BS answer it's really not.

My ideas of what sober life would be like were terrifying...my very brief abortive attempts at sobriety did nothing to quell that terror.

But I needed to quit, or die. So I quit.

I found after a little while, things got better. After a little more time, I got comfortable with being sober.

After a little more time after that I loved being sober

You don;t have to believe me - take a look at all the other sober folk here. Noone would stay sober if it was torture, scared.

You need to take the leap of faith, scared.

Keep drinking and things will not improve - they'll only get worse.

D

GracieLou

I had this same anxiety and panic but I did not recognize as a symptom of alcoholism. You are ahead of the game if you are already aware of this.

I was not having any fun anymore. I was drinking because of this type of panic. As soon as I drank it appeared the panic left but it didn't really leave, it was just coated with alcohol.

I also felt this way. How was I ever going to enjoy life again?

What I didn't realize at the time was that I was not enjoying life as much as I was hiding from it. It had done me wrong and the hours of TV watching while drinking was my escape.

Towards the end I was not getting much done anymore. The days of drinking after the work of the weekend was done were over. I had to drink and I attempted to do them while drinking and I never got very far. My reward was now just making it though the week at work and Saturday 6am drinking was my reward, this is how I justified drinking, I had earned it!

I was at the bottom and for the first time in my life, recovery was placed first before the reward. I didn't realize that recover in itself would be its own reward.

I still enjoy the same things and I have started to enjoy some things I forgot I liked years ago but that did not happen over night.

I had to get into recovery, learn about my alcoholism, take the time it demands and that I deserved to get healthy mentally. I only have one life and time was slipping away. I could sit on my couch and drink the rest of my life away or I could make a commitment to myself and recover. Does it take time? Yes. Does it take hard work? Yes. Does it change your life? Yes.

If you want a change then you have to change. Nothing changes if nothing changes. The panic, anxiety and the need for rewards will not go away by just setting down the bottle, more needs to happen.

You are the only person that can admit if you are an alcoholic and then do something about it other than to use alcohol as your solution. There is another way to live and view life, you have to ask yourself if you are sick and tired enough from drinking that you want it.

thenewguy

Examine the trade-off.

You get about 3 hours (at best) of a chemically-induced euphoria, followed by 24-48 hours of hellish hangover. Those were my weekend binges, anyway.

Sober weekends now are more of a steady-state: A little bored, so I clean a little or go for a nice bike ride, A little tired, I take a refreshing nap.

Notice the difference? I haven't squandered another weekend poisoning myself for those precious few hours of fleeting bliss. I've nourished by body and soul with what it needs. Your weekends can be that way, too.

JaneLane

I'm a week into sobriety and for me it's been about taking alcohol off the table entirely. It's just not an option and not a part of my life anymore and I think it does take time to form new habits and routines.

Like others here have said, the couple of hours of numbing out is not worth it when I am dependent on painkillers the next day and have anxiety, no energy, bad skin and realised I wasted an evening.