Hope is the thing with feathers

Old 04-25-2015, 02:19 PM
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Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without words
And never stops

We all need hope in our lives, but it is especially true for those trying to recover. Because the addiction is so self serving it becomes the focus of our lives creating a vortex of self absorption. It is hard to have hope when all you can see is your need to get high.

Relationships are broken, family ties are severed through the lying, manipulation and broken promises.So you end up in a pit of your own making. At this time when you need hope the most, it seems the most remote.

Just quitting, that is not drinking or using is not enough. You have to have a profound underlying motive to stay clean. Willpower is not enough. With hope, you can see possibilities for a better life. A future and the feeling that you have worth not only to yourself, but to others and the community.

Taking personal responsibility helps. Learning to cope with life's challenges and knowing when things are out of one's control by accepting can create hope and strength. You can “own” your mistakes as well as your successes. And personal responsibility also means understanding that one cannot do everything by oneself. People need other people.

I drank yesterday supposedly because of my family's stuff, but in reality it was because I am lousy at setting boundaries. I want to fix everything. I must be super woman! In addition, I gave myself permission to drink over my feelings. The result is nothing has changed. I spent money on vodka that mostly went down the drain. My brother is still and alcoholic, and so am I. If anything, that drinking episode eroded my self esteem even more. When I am trying to obtain hope...the thing with feathers flew away last night.

So I am learning. And thank you all again for your support.
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Old 04-25-2015, 02:29 PM
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...holds the key
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((Art))....but it can fly back just as easily.
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Old 04-25-2015, 03:01 PM
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Thanks for sharing AF, honesty is a very important thing in not only sobriety but life in general; glad you came back to talk this through.

Accepting that you cannot change others or fix their problems is going to be just as important as accepting your addiction. Super Woman is a fictional character....the real you is far more important to be if you seek both sobriety and happiness.
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Old 04-25-2015, 03:21 PM
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I'm sorry that you drank yesterday but I can relate entirely about the family boundaries.

Personally, by the time I engage my "hmm, this is crossing a boundary" I'm already seething and internalising all that anger. My plan is to get sassy. And by that I mean, stand up for myself. I recommend! I told my family this week on the phone after a conversation that they made me feel uncomfortable and I wouldn't discuss the issue with them anymore. It was one of the most liberating things I have done for a while.
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Old 04-25-2015, 04:09 PM
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Hello Artfriend. We both drank last night and you offered kind words to me this morning. Now I remind you that there is hope...each moment you move through carries such...each time we make a mistake there's always the chance to start afresh. This message carries hope. I love the poem you chose by Emily Dickinson

Your post really spoke to me because your wrote from yes your own hard place but mine too. Especially when you said 'I gave myself permission to drink over my feelings'. Thats exactly what i did last night too. So we had different triggers but the same consequence arose of picking up the first drink. This only shows how in need you (we) were at that time. I hope you can offer yourself some care tonight. Remember today (and tomorrow) is another new day. Here's the last verse from another wee poem about hope by one of my favourite poets - liz lochead

Hard to unfankle this.
But you can help me. Loosen
All these knots and listen
I cannot plainly tell you this, but, if you care
Then - beyond all harm and hurt -
Real hope is there
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Old 04-25-2015, 05:49 PM
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Thank you Littlebear! I read that poem and broke into tears. It is beautiful! So lovely. Sometimes others' writing can express how we feel more than we can even comprehend.
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:43 PM
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That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without words
And never stops
Artfriend I have never heard that poem before, it is beautiful.

little bear, such a beautiful poem, thank you
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