Laura567

Hi,

I am trying to stay sober, but keep slipping up. I have a great job and I am the boss of an alcoholic older man. He has been staying sober until last year when he slipped up. I find it really weird that I should help someone who is just like me... Anyways, sent him to rehab and everything seemed well again. Until this year, he has had several slip ups since Christmas and despite me trying to help he keeps slipping up. And I understand that all too well. So next week I will have to give him an "offer" that means he will loose his job. This feels really bad, I think this will just make him drink harder. I understand that this is not my responsibility, as the employer I have to see to my other employees and the business. I think it is scary, and it has gotten me thinking and helps my own recovery. I do not want to loose my job.

Thanks for reading!

Soberwolf

Whatever you decide to do you will have us in your corner

Dee74

I know it's hard for any boss to fire an employee but I guess it's part of the job.

I'm sorry you keep struggling too.

Remember there's support here. anytime Laura

D

Littlebear

I really feel for your dilemma Laura. But i imagine that own experience of trying to recover from alcohol and knowing the difficulties of that will at least allow you to deliver any decision your reach with regards to your emaplyee - with warmth and compassion. That counts for a lot...

Littlebear

Oops - misspellings in my post - but hope you got the gist...x

JaneLane

To be honest I think you have done an amazing thing. You got your co-worker help and you are clearly a very compassionate person.

The thing is, getting someone into rehab is a wonderful gift, and if you're an employer, you have to do what is best for business. That being said, I know you won't leave this employee out on their own. If you can even give them a list of decent resources, that will help in itself. The last job I lost due to addiction, I was totally cut out and didn't even know what was happening till it was too late.

I just want to share my personal experience. A year or so ago someone I worked with gave me the number for my local drug and alcohol addiction centre. I worked and I attended the centre. I relapsed, I lost the job, but I kept going back to the centre. Now I use a combination of recovery methods and despite relapsing, I feel very supported and confident.

Laura567

Thanks, I will try to help him as much as possible, I feel really bad, just got some texts from him, he is clearly not sober. He once told me he was about 30 when first time went to rehab, now closing in on 60. So I guess he knows what to do, only does not want to?

Altoids

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I pray this man finds sobriety and hangs on with both hands. Bless you for your compassion and the understanding of his -ism. It really does open our eyes when we see this from the other side, huh?

Laura567

My father lost his job when he was around 50, after that he really went downhill and became a fullscaled alcoholic. With that in mind, I don´t feel comfortable at all.

Soberwolf

It doesnt have to be that way for you Laura

ArtFriend

Sounds like you have given him a lot of chances. You have a job to do and so does he. It is not your fault that you have to let him go. And you must not own his feelings. It is hard but necessary. At his age and history, he probably knew this was coming some time ago. Good luck!

StayStrong33

You're definitely in a tough spot but I'd like to mention that there are two ways of looking at it. Many alcoholics may see their job, family, and other responsibilities as a reason for not completely committing to sobriety. "I would go to rehab but I can't miss work" "I have my family at home and can't make it to meetings" and so on. Who knows he could continue attempting to come to work and hurt/kill someone on the way. You could be freeing him up to focus on his recovery. There's just so many possibilities so don't burden yourself. I'm not sure what type of program you're using but trust that he has his own journey to complete as do you and I. I admire your empathy!