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Irrational social anxiety.

Old 04-24-2015, 07:15 PM
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Irrational social anxiety.

I live in a thriving downtown community that I have been a part of for more than 12 years.... when I first moved in it was a lousy neighbourhood which is why I could afford it, but today it is trendy and much changed.

I used to be highly social and fearless. I traveled the world, moved to a different city, backpacked. I have always worked jobs that kept me in the community... bar tended, drove a school bus, worked in the local beer store, operated a sign business out of my home with clients in the neighbourhood, now I'm a letter carrier.

I have become a recluse once I get home. If I step out my door I'm on a busy downtown street with TONS of things I could do and people I could meet but I have lost my gumption and my courage to step outside my comfort zone. How did that happen and why am I so uncomfortable meeting new people? There was a time not long ago where I thrived on it?

I used to go out of my way to talk to new people and want to be involved ... but now I hide and I feel weird and anxious if I have to be in a new situation with new people.

Is it because I don't feel good enough or hip enough or successful enough? Am I afraid of some kind of rejection of a stranger that I'm not even sure I like either? What am I so afraid of? I never used to have this fear and I can't even pin point where or when it started.

Non the less it is irrational.
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Old 04-24-2015, 07:26 PM
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I found a lot of that feeling left me when I stopped drinking Zen.
It's hard to get a clear perspective on things when you're routinely pie-eyed.

In fact, even just a little alcohol was enough to keep me in a worldview where I was not worthy and the outside world was terrifying.

I've lost track on your story recently I have to admit.

If you're recently sober give yourself a little time.
If you're still drinking, this is another great reason to stop.

D
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Old 04-24-2015, 07:34 PM
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I don't know what to say, except that I can relate. I live in the country. I only go to town for stuff I need. Unless, god forbid, my wife drags me on an outting with her sisters. I've spent the past several years drinking and riding 4 wheelers and hanging out in the woods a lot. When I go to town....it's like another world. It's like i'm on the outside looking in and it's a place I feel I don't belong. I try to stick to the small towns if I do go somewhere, if I should happen to go to a major metro it's hard for me to fathom, being out here where it's quite, that I live so close to such a disastrous area.
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Old 04-24-2015, 07:37 PM
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Dee you have a way of putting things in perspective in just a few sentences.
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Old 04-24-2015, 07:41 PM
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I can relate. It's so hard when I have errands to run but I don't want to be over stimulated. And it comes and goes, sometimes I am fine e in social settings , other times I need to leave. Some ppl get offended and think I don't want to be around them, but I need to put myself first
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Old 04-24-2015, 07:54 PM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkzRNyygfk
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Old 04-24-2015, 08:11 PM
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Anxiety is never irrational. I spent 2 years in my house and wouldn't leave because of anxiety. It took medication and a good counselor to get me out of the house. You're not alone at all, anxiety is a medical problem.

I am so sorry you're feeling this way, but the drink won't help. It won't help, never has never will, will only make things worse.

Strange, rejection, no not at all my friend you're you. I take lots of medication to help me with voices and anxiety, I hear @#$#@ that doesn't exist, I am paranoid, but been getting out lately and improving. Don't be anyone but you, don't worry about what you think others think, forget that doesn't matter you're you and loved and have support here. You don't ever have to be anyone but you.
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Old 04-24-2015, 08:12 PM
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Anxiety is never irrational. I spent 2 years in my house and wouldn't leave because of anxiety. It took medication and a good counselor to get me out of the house. You're not alone at all, anxiety is a medical problem.

I am so sorry you're feeling this way, but the drink won't help. It won't help, never has never will, will only make things worse.

Strange, rejection, no not at all my friend you're you. I take lots of medication to help me with voices and anxiety, I hear @#$#@ that doesn't exist, I am paranoid, but been getting out lately and improving. Don't be anyone but you, don't worry about what you think others think, forget that doesn't matter you're you and loved and have support here. You don't ever have to be anyone but you.
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Old 04-24-2015, 08:37 PM
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I think anxiety can be irrational Jeremy.

I can remember thinking people were out to get me - I was afraid to leave my room. I would peer through the blinds at any noise, heart pounding....

there was nothing rational in that - just me being drunk and high for way too long.

Doesn't mean the fear was not real...but what it was based on was not.
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Old 04-24-2015, 08:47 PM
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I dont think it is im my experience.,.

Ive become isolated unless i really need to get out or when my roommate gets home ill just be on my cell phone with headphones. I hear my neighbors and i stiffen up because I hope they dont knock on my door, I havent gone anywhere all day because I dont want to seem odd or like Im in a bad mood, but im dealing with too much to deal with people. So no... 😔
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Old 04-24-2015, 08:51 PM
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Yes Dee, fear can be an irrational feeling, and we can act on those irrational feelings, but what I meant is that it always has a Genesis. Its always grounded in some purpose, maybe one we don't see or feel, but there is a cause. Its not irrational at all, its quite rational, the rational might not be seen, but it exist personal opinion of course. For the orginal poster, where are you, how do you feel, is there help avaialble, rational or irrational anxiety doesn't matter, you need to help you.
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Old 04-24-2015, 08:51 PM
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Alcohol took a lot of my confidence and replaced it with bravado. When I stopped drinking the bravado was gone also...

I had to take it slow and build my confidence. I faked it at first and would just put on "Bartender Face". My confidence is growing and I am so much more comfortable around people.

I would suggest taking it easy and not over taxing yourself but don't hide away to much. I think it's just another sober muscle that needs to be worked on.
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