Can I have a 2nd chance?
 

Ok so I had just written this long dissertation about who I am, my drinking history where I am now all of it. Then I hit submit and somehow the site logged me out and it was all lost. I don't have the energy at the moment to rethink everything written previously I will go with the short version..... here goes.

I stopped drinking January 2014 with major help from this wonderful forum and the people here and by April I was feeling oh so confident that I could now fly free. I had my first drink again in July, surely a glass of wine with dinner was ok right?
Yes, I know the answer but I was feeling so smug and smart about myself because Ha, I was cured wasn't I?
Well it took about a month and I was right back at square one again. At the same time my fiancé and I had to make a major move from Florida back to Boston to stay with his family when his business in Florida tanked. It was humiliating and horrifying to both of us to be in the position we were in.
I settled right in and found a great job and proceeded to fill my nights with serious drinking all the while promising I would stop. I managed to have an affair with someone from my past while out meeting for drinks and ended up losing my relationship in the process. Lost both of them actually.... funny thing is guys love to bed the party girl not wed her haha!
January 1, I moved into my own place and finally freedom! I could drink as much as I want, when I want, bliss right? :a122:
Not hardly, I am utterly miserable, disgusted and desperate to find a way out of this mess that is my life. I met someone about 8 weeks ago that I really like and I can tell he has already noticed my drinking is excessive and I have completely lied to him about it. I have denied that I drink during the week and I am pretty sure he is on to me.
I don't want to quit for him, I realize that isn't going to work but I do want to have him in my life and more importantly I want to actually have a life. I need help to find my way back to being sober and I humbly ask all of you for your support.
I have had many thought of death in the past few months and have managed to scare those who would have my back half way around the world with my drunken texts etc.
I know that if I do not stop drinking, one of these nights I will go too far and there won't be any coming back. I am feeling like this is my last chance and I have to make it count. (sigh)
Sorry this turned out so long after all.....

Welcome back Wilderness voice. If you have the will and the desire to get sober, that is all that matters. The recovery community and SR are always here for anyone who seeks it. I personally quit for some extended periods and thought I was "cured" and every time returned to daily drinking even though it started out slow.

Bottom line, yes - you have a chance. Today can be the first day of your sober life. The only question is what are you willing to do in order to make it happen? Some find that using SR itself via posting, reading, joining threads can be enough. Others need local support via daily meetings and programs like AA, Life Ring, etc. Some use counseling and detox/rehab. Some see their doctor and get a physical to see how things are going. Have you given any thought as to what you might do this time?

Hi Scott,
I am planning to make much more use of this forum than I did before. I managed to quit smoking 7 months ago with the help of a forum and am still active there so for me it is an effective tool.

Thank you for writing, it is comforting to know that this can once again be set right.

Welcome back! :) As long as you're still breathing, you have a second chance. :hug:

Thank you least, I am soooo ready for this.

Yes, and we have to be ready (30 yr. drinker here!). We are glad to have you here Wilderness. You are among friends who truly understand. Let's do this. :)

Thanks Heyvn

So glad you are here! Take care of yourself first, you know what you have to do. When you quit drinking, remember, it's for yourself first. Those you love will feel the after effects of your take charge attitude. Don't let your mind play tricks on you, don't get into a false power struggle. Saying that you don't want to quit drinking for a new love interest will only cause you to fail. Do it for yourself. Get that ingrained into your head and you will win! No more excuses, you can do this!!

Welcome bk friend

Cirrhosis of the Liver Stages, Causes, Symptoms, Treatments

Your liver thanks you. Good to have you here.

Welcome back Wilderness voice... wow know just what you are going thro.. we lived in Florida for 9 years Ed got hurt at work and my son brought us back home to live with him... I found a job and was drinking to blot out the days and nasty place I had to work.. Kiddo you are in safe warm and loving company here. with no catches... I think that is why I love these silly people so much.. in Numbers there is Solid Strength.. love ardy...

Welcome back Wilderness!! :)

Wilderness, I am glad that you came back and joined us again. We're here for you.

Welcome Back Wildnerness!

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am now moving into day 2 and hopeful that I can conquer this weekend and start new week without alcohol.

If you want to hang out with us for the weekend, there is a weekender's thread. It's kind of a fun place to just be. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...3rd-until.html

I can do that :)

Welcome back wildernessvoice :)

D

Welcome back.

Throw all you have into sobriety.... Worry about relationships later.

You can open yourself to a much better life if you're ready

Welcome to Day 2 Wilderness - nice work. :)