I'm not accepted anywhere

Old 04-24-2015, 12:27 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 51
I'm not accepted anywhere

Hi. I...I....I don't know where to begin. I've read some posts and responses on here so I am reluctant to share.
So I will start with the basics.
Hi. I am a 27 year old female and a practicing alcoholic.
I would tell my story but for majority of people I will come under scrutiny and criticism, judgement and hate.
My story is not for the faint of heart. It's not for the weak or the small minded.
I wanted to let you all know I am sick and came here to find healing.
I went to counseling, AA, etc. lost all my friends, my boyfriend, my jobs, my money....I have kept quiet for a few months but its taking a toll on me.
I gave up searching for help because I'm a burden. Nobody wants to be around a failure I've learned the hard way.
I wish someone; one person could at least help.

Last edited by calypso17; 04-24-2015 at 12:31 AM. Reason: Wanted to add more
calypso17 is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 12:37 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Evienne's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: the Low Lands
Posts: 113
Welcome to SR Calypso, I've found this to be a judgement-, criticism-, hate- and scrutiny-free zone!

Read a lot, you'll find so much information, and you'll soon see we have all been and still going through, and lost, a lot. You're not a burden at all, I for one am looking forward to reading more from you, but please take all the time you need.
Evienne is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 12:38 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,640
hi Calypso - welcome

We're a very safe and welcoming community - lots of friendly folks here, very fair and non judgemental.

And we understand about not fitting in, about feeling a failure, and about addiction too

There's absolutely no requirement for you to share anything you don't want to

I could not find peace, happiness or healing for many many years. I felt like the lowest of the low. I disgusted myself.

And then I found SR

I hope you'll give us a chance to get to know you and to help...on your terms and at your speed

Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 12:39 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Behold the power of NO
Carlotta's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
to SR.
You will find love, support and acceptance here. If you are ready to help yourself, we are here to help you
Carlotta is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 01:10 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 51
Thank you!

Thank you for your warm and open welcomes.
I came here because I do want to tell my story, but it's very painful, humiliating, horrible and repulsive for me that I feel that no one else can understand.
I shared at AA a few times. I was honored by looks of disgust, hate and anger, and then further lectured on how my actions will give me irreversible consequences.

Then I felt so low I relapsed even more.
calypso17 is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 01:11 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,934
Welcome to SR, calypso17! You will be accepted here! Good to have you with us.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 01:17 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by calypso17 View Post
Thank you for your warm and open welcomes.
I came here because I do want to tell my story, but it's very painful, humiliating, horrible and repulsive for me that I feel that no one else can understand.
I shared at AA a few times. I was honored by looks of disgust, hate and anger, and then further lectured on how my actions will give me irreversible consequences.

Then I felt so low I relapsed even more.
Nice to meet you!

You absolutely do not have to share if you don't want to. We are all here to support each other so have a read around and join in if/when you want :-)
JaneLane is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 01:32 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
SolitaryThinker's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Welcome! I'm an absolute pro at not fitting in! It becomes a fine craft after a while
This is a wonderful and caring place, this site impacted and changed my life in ways I couldent even comprehend. Been here for a year and honestly haven't had any ounce of judgement passed on me! Your worth it and you rock!!! <3
SolitaryThinker is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 01:41 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Tang's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
I have to say people here in recovery are salt of the earth. You won't find a more supportive group of people.
Tang is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 01:42 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
MelindaFlowers's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Welcome. I am sure your experiences would sound similar to many others here.
MelindaFlowers is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 02:13 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
MarathonMan's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
calypso - I know I for one have done some things I'm really not proud of and some things that I still do not share. There is no pressure hear to bear your soul but if you do want to tell your story I doubt very much you will get any judgement. There is not a person hear who doesn't know what it feels like to do things they are ashamed of. As a community we've drove drunk, got divorced, comitted violence, lost jobs, alienated friends and family etc. I think most who have truely gained sobriety have come to terms with the things they have done and found peace and all they want to do is help the people like you and me and the start of the journey.
MarathonMan is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 02:18 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Sober since 10th April 2012
FeelingGreat's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi calypso, you've come to home of horrible regrets. There's no need to go into details if you're too ashamed, but you're not the first to hit SR having lost almost everything. And there are plenty of people who have come back from that place as well.
Use your feelings to kick off a determination never to drink again. People will forgive your past once they see you're sober.
FeelingGreat is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 02:30 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
SolitaryThinker's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Marathon- perfect...
SolitaryThinker is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 03:45 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 26
You will always hear stories with a lower bottom then yours and stories that don't come close to yours. I have a hard time relating to people myself and it took a long time to change my perception of things. I think that was the biggest challenge for myself was to change my perception of things. Example I would text a girl and she would reply for awhile and eventually she would not reply and my thoughts would develop that "she didn't reply because I'm ugly". Which was an unrealistic view towards myself when there could be a huge number of reasons for her not replying. My addicted thinking put a negative spin on it. Another example would be after sharing at a meeting a few people laughed. I assumed that they were making fun of my life experiences. Which again was a negative spin from my own mind that was completely unrealistic. I've learned that one of the most harmful questions for me is why? Your experiences give you weight and depth making it possible to reach those who have been where you are through empathy. Im sure you could help a lot of people!
Oclaf is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 04:22 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Gosford, NSW
Posts: 110
One person can help - you, and you are. It's hard and we all have skeletons in the closet but it's great so see you have strength even in your depression and despair. Search and share and continue to fight. Focus on your todays and your tomorrows will become brighter as all those yesterday fade behind you
ChancesAh is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 04:33 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Kevin78's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 396
Welcome Calypso.

Nobody will judge you here. Feel free to share in your own time, I find it helps me, and also lets me get things off my chest.

I wish you well.
Kevin78 is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 04:34 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Marcher13's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Welcome Calypso. You can tell your story or not tell it, that is completely up to you, there is no requirement either way at SR. I've never posted my full story although my classmates (March 2013) and some SR members probably know it from what I post here. We are a pretty unshockable lot, between us we have covered the spectrum of poor behaviour.

You have many people to help and support you here, I am just one.
Marcher13 is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 04:49 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
INgal's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 503
Hi Calypso. No matter your past, someone here has likely " been there, done that" and those who haven't will probably be empathetic in the very least. The people here, both alcoholics and those who love them, are the most nonjudgmental people you will ever find. If one person is helped by sharing their story or hearing yours, it's all worth it.
I hope you find peace here.
INgal is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 04:49 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
ccam1973's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome to SR Calypso. As other's have said, here you will be accepted. This is a place where today's recovery and success is paramount and superior to yesterday's actions.

You do have the power to move forward with your life, without drinking, without the regret of the past.

It takes a ton of commitment and heart, but there are plenty of us here that have made the change and are succeeding now.

Take your time, look around these threads and posts. I think you will find that you are not alone, similar stories as yours will probably comfort you and make you uneasy at the same time.

My point, is that you are not alone when you are within the SR community. We all have our own demons that we are battling, this community helps us with those fights.

SR is my source of recovery after over two decades of heavy, daily drinking, morning drinking, blackout drinking, drunk driving... you name it, I've probably done it.

This is a great place for support. You just have to want to quit. we can't make that decision for you, it has to be yours, but we can help you accomplish your goal.

Welcome and best of luck!

We are here anytime you need us.
ccam1973 is offline  
Old 04-24-2015, 06:26 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
newpage119's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Hi Calypso,
Welcome to the forum, you have found a safe place to tell your story or not. There is a lot of support here.....

First step is to lose the booze! Once you do that, the problems get smaller and your ability to deal with them get bigger!

The Women for Sobriety acceptance statements really help me, and might comfort you. # 9 is really important!


1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.

2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.

3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Happiness is created, not waited for.

4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.

5. I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.

6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

7. Love can change the course of my world.
Caring becomes all important.

8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

9. The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.

10. All love given returns.
I will learn to know that others love me.

11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
I treasure all moments of my new life.

12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.

13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions. For some, it has proven helpful to use a notebook for recording the sequences of the day and the statement's effects upon you.

Copyright: Women for Sobriety, Inc.
newpage119 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:59 AM.