Time2Focus

I won't get into specifics and I don't want to get into a debate or argument on why AA is or is not the best solution to staying sober.

If AA works for you, that is awesome!! For me, that is not going to happen and believe me, I've given it a very fair chance. Again, I don't want to get into 20 questions about why.

I realize there are things out there like SMART Recovery, etc. But the closest meeting for that group is like 100 miles away.... and I live in the largest city in NC (USA)??

Any advice would be very much appreciated. I had over 100 days sober and now I'm back to the 1-2 clean cycle and then feeling like everything is ok... and.. you know how this story plays out

Coldfusion

How about NA? You'll find different people at the meetings, and the literature is up-to-date.

freshstart57

I think feeling that 'everything is OK' is the way I want to feel. Maybe the difference is that I know I can only ever be OK if I never drink again. I could chose to be not OK and drink, but I just don't do that anymore. I decided that will never be OK. OK!

How this plays out is totally up to you, T2F. Why not drop by the Secular Connections forum here, lots of discussion about 12 step free tools for sobriety.

Time2Focus

Alcoholics go to NA meetings? I'm not being a smart*** I promise.

Coldfusion

Alcohol is considered a drug. NA meetings are much more open to a variety of addictions than AA. Although I go to AA meetings, I do my step study with NA books and workbooks. The literature isn't sexist and archaic as the Big Book and AA literature are.

Time2Focus

Thanks! I will have to explore this avenue.

FeelingGreat

Hi Time2focus, I'm not questioning your decision as I never tried AA and managed to stop drinking on my own, but from your OP it seems that the support you received meant something, because you go on to say you had 100 days sober but relapsed. Was it because you no longer had the support from AA?
Normally I tell people who can't handle AA that many people become sober on their own, but you seem to want a support group, just not AA. I use SR as my support group, as well as an education and it works for me.

Nonsensical

For me there's a sizable disconnect between feeling like everything is OK and feeling like it's OK to drink again.

You might want to read this thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

least

I went to an addiction counselor for several years. It was very helpful to me, along with daily visits to SR.

Marcher13

Time2Focus we are all different, what works for one may not work for another. I used some techniques from Smart Recovery but SR has been the central to my recovery. I've missed (unavoidably) maybe ten days since I joined two years ago, I check in morning or evening with my Class each day. I give SR the same focus and time people do who go to AA or classes or detox, it's worked for over two years.

More and more I think it's the commitment that matters most, the vehicle that gets us there is very important but secondary to that.

FreeOwl

Well you could do what I did when AA was not for me;

You could keep drinking for another 10 years and get another DUI and throw away a lot and build up even worse alcoholism and almost really ruin your life.... So that AA was finally 'for you'.

But I don't endorse that method.

countrygirl2014

What free owl said. And add a "lol"

AA wasn't for me when I was 19. Or 25. Or 32. Or 35. And again at 38 (now). I hated it. I made myself go. I was desparate to stop drinking. I found a really fun group with a lot of people I could relate too. I ignored the biblical speeches for a while, I still do. I kept an open mind, picked out what I wanted to hear and found the people I actually listened to and did what they told me to. Combined with help from the people on SR, I have had a wonderful past almost 7 months. AA is still not my favorite thing, but that and the program it provided are working. The happy, grateful oldtimers are the key for me. Find them and put your listening ears on.

Jennifer

Justincredible

I've also done a lot of AA. For me what works today is SR and therapy. Also applying what I learned in AA really strengthens my recovery. Being a good helpful person who freely shares what I have learned in recovery, kind o like "service" work always is a good thing. SR is a great place to do that. Im grateful that I live in a time where we can have a global community of people sincerely striving for permanent sobriety and better living here. Just stick around and keep at it. Once in awhile I pop into a meeting just to say hi and take a little bit of that program in. Keeping an open mind is key for me as well as being aware when rigid thinking creeps in. Rigid thinking has always been present right before I relapsed in the past.
Have a great day.

FreeOwl

A hint that helped me;

Instead of looking at why AA isn't 'for me', I have found value in asking...

"What ABOUT AA is for me...."?

In that way I've been able to add AA to my kit of sobriety tools. There are things about AA I don't like. There are parts of AA I don't use. There are opinions in AA (as many as there are people) - some of which I relate to and others which I reject.

By viewing AA as one part of my overall, personal web of support for my sobriety, I have found a lot of value in AA that previously I was unwilling to see because I rejected the whole program on the basis of the things that weren't "for me".

ArtFriend

There are SMART Recovery meetings online too!

Time2Focus

Thank you all for the helpful advice. I'm definitely going to look into adding therapy into my journey and checking out NA and the online smart recovery meetings.

Nowsthetime

Hello:

There are also videos on YouTube and eventhough I have never attended one, there are chat meetings here on SR. There's also the chat room that can be a Mini Meeting. I have never used AA but I always like to say that that doesn't mean that I haven't done something. I come here a lot, I talk about my sobriety with other people, I also always talk to the guy that works by my building who I know is in AA so that also is reinforcement. It's all up to you and you have to find ways of incorporating it into your life. No excuses and no surrender.

I didn't learn about any of this until I came here and started educating myself about alcoholism and problem drinking. Start designing a plan that is going to work for you. Acknowledging it is the first step so you are on your way and that is exciting. Rely on SR as much as you need. That is what it's here for.

soberlicious

Have ever explored Buddhism, most specifically mindfulness? There's some powerful stuff in the teachings that's certainly applicable to ending the suffering that accompanies the cycle of addiction. I started with Google years ago. Worth seeing where it takes you.

Anna

If you are looking for face-to-face contact, you might consider therapy or counselling. Maybe that would work for you. If not, SR is a great resource and if you like reading, check out our Book List:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html

Imabuleva

Eat right.
Exercise.
Have a plan for cravings.
Have a plan for boredom.
Have a plan in general.
Make goals that are impossible if you drink, but reachable if you're sober and work hard.
Post an accountability thread here.
Go to AA anyway. If only for the camaraderie.
Try NA.
Try secular solutions.

And don't ****ing drink Unless you want withdrawals, DUI's, embarrassing and sometimes unspeakable blackouts, unemployment, ultimately homelessness, anxiety from hell, you name it.

Do you know what a death from late stage alcoholism feels like? Your liver is not invulnerable. It will start to give out, and the liver does a lot of important stuff. That's why they call it a LIVEr (House quote). One of its most important jobs is to filter your blood, which supplies nutrients and sustainability to the rest of your body. When your liver starts shutting down or is hard-pressed to keep up due to cirrhosis, you experience a wide range of horrible symptoms throughout your body. Generalized hell. Your other organs start to shut down and essentially you die from the inside out.

All for the old C2H5OH. If all else fails, quit out of fear, but that's not a very fun way to live. I am afraid of alcohol personally. I realized yesterday that my alcoholism was moving toward the end of the middle stages, and I'm not even 30. I would be dead before 50 at the rate I was going. If I didn't die of a drunken stupor induced accident first.

I'm not really good at advice, but I am certain that this is life and death for many of us. Do what it takes. Fight for your life.