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Being Sober While Others Aren't

Old 04-22-2015, 06:13 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by newpage119 View Post
Add iced tea to the list! And club soda with anything. Half fruit juice and half club soda is great. Izze is a bottled/canned drink that tastes fabulous...not everyone has that though..... Then there are the "virgin" versions of the drinks, like virgin coladas, margaritas, virgin Mary, etc....but I never trust restaurant servers to not accidentally give me the real thing, so I avoid those!
I agree; I think the club soda route is great. I love flavored club soda. I never cared for sweet drinks when I did drink alcohol, so I concur that staying away from those is best! And I LOVE iced tea!
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Old 04-22-2015, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by newpage119 View Post
Add iced tea to the list! And club soda with anything. Half fruit juice and half club soda is great.
Izze is a bottled/canned drink that tastes fabulous...not everyone has that though.....

Then there are the "virgin" versions of the drinks, like virgin coladas, margaritas, virgin Mary, etc....but I never trust restaurant servers to not accidentally give me the real thing, so I avoid those!
Club soda with juice is amazing!

But I would shy away from "virgin" drinks. I mean, isn't a margarita just lemonade/limeade anyway? And seriously, if not for the booze how many people in this world would be making up a concoction with a tomato juice base... Fake drinks can be a trigger for some...
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Old 04-22-2015, 06:19 PM
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Club soda and juice here too. I have never liked soda or other sweet drinks so I stick with Seltzer and a little orange, grapefruit or cranberry juice.
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Old 04-22-2015, 06:50 PM
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I Strongly believe the only thing i have to do is stay sober everything else is a choice.

When my son got married I told him I was unsure how long I would be at the reception. He was fine because he would much rather have a long term sober father than a drunk because of one night.

Some people would say I had to be there but I don't give a flying frick what others say about what it takes to keep me sober.

Today I can deal with alcohol functions but I avoid them and always have an escape plan

I guard my sobriety like my life depended on it because it does.
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Old 04-22-2015, 07:11 PM
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Thanks to all for such great and helpful responses. I agree that avoiding places like bars is so crucial. I also appreciate everyone's insights on what they do when they don't want to drink but it's the focal point of the evening. And such as was said, right now I do associate "social engagements" with "alcohol." I used to scan the room for the closest bar when I walked in. If I can break that connection between the two, I believe I am set, as I can really have fun just about anywhere (and where there isn't fun to be had I can often tell myself the event is a learning experience). It would be nice to listen the music and HEAR the lyrics; to conversate and not worry about it turning into a drunken fight/ cry fest; be able to go out and know if I fall down, it's legitimately because of my high heels, and not me stumbling in them. To REMEMBER the night at the end of it! God, how many nights have I lost to black outs?
That almost seems like a dream.
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Old 04-22-2015, 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by GirlGoneBad View Post
Thanks to all for such great and helpful responses. I agree that avoiding places like bars is so crucial. I also appreciate everyone's insights on what they do when they don't want to drink but it's the focal point of the evening. And such as was said, right now I do associate "social engagements" with "alcohol." I used to scan the room for the closest bar when I walked in. If I can break that connection between the two, I believe I am set, as I can really have fun just about anywhere (and where there isn't fun to be had I can often tell myself the event is a learning experience). It would be nice to listen the music and HEAR the lyrics; to conversate and not worry about it turning into a drunken fight/ cry fest; be able to go out and know if I fall down, it's legitimately because of my high heels, and not me stumbling in them. To REMEMBER the night at the end of it! God, how many nights have I lost to black outs?
That almost seems like a dream.
There is no doubt it will be a learning experience but if you drink the learning will come at a very high cost. Always remember that alcohol has a lifetime to wait for our one moment of weakness.

Many fail because they underestimate the power of their enemy.
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Old 04-22-2015, 10:58 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
One of the things the newly sober don't quite grasp is how much change is required to successfully recover from alcoholism. Change in what we do, where we go, who we engage with socially. Drastic change. There are many aspect of your old life you are going to have to let go off...not just the alcohol. And some of the things you will have to let go off, at least in the early weeks and months of sobriety, is, "weddings (bachelorette parties), graduations, birthdays, the list goes on."

I would also advise not to do too much worrying about summer drinking in April, four days sober. Just worry about not drinking today.

Good luck.
Yes. There are two recipes that spell disaster:

1. Attending drinking events in early sobriety.
2. Not telling anyone you've stopped drinking so having a drink is as easy as "Sally, would you pour me a gin and tonic?"

I did both before my final and successful attempt at sobriety and inevitably drank again.

I often justified drinking by the importance of the event. My best friend's bachelorette party? I'll go and not drink.....I'll go and not drink much.....And drunk. I'll start tomorrow.

And the events keep happening. Like Scott, I go to things that are not drinking parties. I always have a glass of soda in my hand.
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Old 04-23-2015, 02:11 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Tools for your sobriety tool box:

1) Invite a sober friend to go with you (if possible).

2) always have your own transportation so if you need to bail it's not a hassle.

3) don't let any alcohol ever touch your hand, pretend (in your head of course,) that even the glass, bottle, can is contaminated and will burn you. Don't carry someone else's drink. Don't get someone else a drink. If necessary ask someone to come with you to help carry it back because your hands will be full of a water and your own non-alcoholic drink.

4) make sure your phone is charged with sober people's phone numbers programmed in. If you need to, excuse yourself from the party and call someone, if they don't answer, call the next person etc.

That's what I do. Since I got sober I know who is a real friend and who was just a drinking buddy. I don't get invited to too many events where the host doesn't know I'm sober. And I've declined things like watching my friends' band play because it was in a bar.

I do what ever it takes to protect my sobriety. It comes first no matter what. My sobriety is even more important than my family. It's more important than a friend's wedding. It's more important than my job.
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