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-   -   When to enter the real world...? living and not just existing... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/365349-when-enter-real-world-living-not-just-existing.html)

MJane91 04-22-2015 06:45 AM

When to enter the real world...? living and not just existing...
 
Hi Guys

Okay so i woke up this morning feeling fed up and emotional and having negative thoughts like i feel trapped and i hate my routine (get up, have breakfast, watch tv, do a workout, read and write etc) i feel like im not living a life so to speak.

But then i started to change my thought pattern and emotions and started to think positive because i do want to live a normal life and i am very head strong and adamant that i am going to live a life of sobriety. I also realised i should embrace the time i have to heal and be grateful and thankful that ive got a safe place to do that and i have the love and support from my family after everything. I no time is a good healer but how much time?!

There's something that has been on my mind, when to go back to work?!
I am a qualified legal secretary and had many jobs in the past but my alcohol addiction got so bad it was effecting my job and even made me lose a couple (embarrassing right). But i have realised that i have been on my recovery journey for 8 months now (with relapses) but ive finally accepted that i can never drink again and i want a life of sobriety. I understand that relapsing is apart of the journey now whereas i kept starting again every time i relapsed.

now in feeling stronger and accepted a life of sobriety it feels like a weight has been lifted and i know i can beat that little voice in my head (the addiction). So basically i want my life back and i have realised i am taking more control of my emotions and thinking more logically and realistically which makes me feel positive.

basically how long should i leave my life on halt i feel like im in limbo and excited to get back into the working world ?!

any opinions :)

MJ

Anna 04-22-2015 06:57 AM

I don't think there is an exact time frame. It would be whatever feels right for you. I don't feel like I ever put my life on hold in recovery. I just changed my routine and thought patterns slowly but surely. If you feel ready to work, then go for it. :)

ScottFromWI 04-22-2015 07:43 AM


Originally Posted by MJane91 (Post 5331296)
basically how long should i leave my life on halt i feel like im in limbo and excited to get back into the working world ?!

any opinions :)

MJ

My opinion would be that if you feel excited to go back to work, do it! It's going to take a while to go through the whole job app/hiring process anyway so nothing will be lost by at least applying for some jobs, other than maybe a few bucks for mailing in the application. There's no time like the present, right?

MJane91 04-22-2015 07:50 AM


Originally Posted by ScottFromWI (Post 5331347)
My opinion would be that if you feel excited to go back to work, do it! It's going to take a while to go through the whole job app/hiring process anyway so nothing will be lost by at least applying for some jobs, other than maybe a few bucks for mailing in the application. There's no time like the present, right?

That is a very good way of looking at it, i forgot it does take a while to go through the process...so i will still be getting stronger every day in looking and it gives me something to look forward to :) :tyou

LBrain 04-22-2015 07:51 AM


Originally Posted by MJane91 (Post 5331296)
There's something that has been on my mind, when to go back to work?!
I understand that relapsing is apart of the journey now whereas i kept starting again every time i relapsed.MJ

I'd say that whenever you are ready and feel comfortable in your sobriety you should go for it.

But I must say, relapse is NOT part of the journey and whoever believes that is NOT ready. And whoever tells other people that relapse is part of the journey - they are wrong.

The journey starts when you are completely free from alcohol.

Scott - do they still use mail?

ardy 04-22-2015 08:13 AM

Hi MJane91.... do you have a staffing service or Temp service that you could work with.. when I went thro cancer surgery and then Radiation therapy for a year.. I put my life on hold and then Jeannie called me one day. Adith Ann I have such a job for you babe.. I had been in Stocks and Bonds for 5 years.. went to a little neighborhood housing area as a temp sec.. and help set things straight and in order.. and clean up a ton of bad letters for the public.. it was great . . try looking in to that for a bit you can pick the assignment and the length. so you have controll.. and it will give a chance to see how the world works in all types of business. yep.. fought to keep this job went from 40hours with benefits to the 27.5 hours a week and my own health insurance.. the Staff has stated to my boss we miss her .. on the reg time but so glad that her smile is still here.. yep.. can do this for the next 5 years and then I am 70 time to stop and smell the flowers or drive my Hubby nuts. ahhahahaha hugs you will find the right path. promise. ardy

MJane91 04-22-2015 08:16 AM


Originally Posted by LBrain (Post 5331359)
I'd say that whenever you are ready and feel comfortable in your sobriety you should go for it.

But I must say, relapse is NOT part of the journey and whoever believes that is NOT ready. And whoever tells other people that relapse is part of the journey - they are wrong.

The journey starts when you are completely free from alcohol.

Scott - do they still use mail?

I didn't quite mean it like that my story is a little different because i also had an eating disorder that i had to beat (which i have) i meant my journey overall i understand the journey to sobriety is when you stop completely however i have seen a few people on SR that have relapsed which does make me realise that every body's 'journey' is different, you don't do a years sober then relapse and say you have to start from the beginning... Everything you do is apart of the journey to recovery.

Anna 04-22-2015 08:20 AM


Originally Posted by MJane91 (Post 5331381)
you don't do a years sober then relapse and say you have to start from the beginning... Everything you do is apart of the journey to recovery.

While everything you do to move forward is part of the recovery journey, many people who do a year sober and then relapse do start from the beginning, perhaps with a different plan.

LBrain 04-22-2015 08:20 AM

good luck in the job hunt ;)

MJane91 04-22-2015 08:30 AM


Originally Posted by Anna (Post 5331391)
While everything you do to move forward is part of the recovery journey, many people who do a year sober and then relapse do start from the beginning.

Oh okay sorry I didn't realise that im still new to all this and understand i suppose, I did have that opinion from when i first started my recovery i used a different example like you wouldn't give a smoker who's given up for ten years a cigarette (because they would be back to square one and have to start again- what i said to my mum) lol

apologies for the misunderstanding im naturally blonde honest ;) lol thank you i thought my first logic was right :)

Thank you Anna :tyou

MJane91 04-22-2015 08:37 AM


Originally Posted by LBrain (Post 5331392)
good luck in the job hunt ;)

apologies for my last post if you see my post to Anna i do understand being dedicated to sobriety means no relapsing, in still learning :) :angel:

Imabuleva 04-22-2015 09:18 AM

I disagree that relapse is part of the journey. It's impossible to make any progress in life as a chronic relapser.

MJane91 04-22-2015 09:22 AM


Originally Posted by Imabuleva (Post 5331463)
I disagree that relapse is part of the journey. It's impossible to make any progress in life as a chronic relapser.

if you read earlier posts i do understand that, i was talking about my overall journey with having an eating disorder and beating that then working on beating my alcohol addiction

of course you cant live a life of sobriety and keep relapsing its not logical.

Imabuleva 04-22-2015 09:38 AM

I agree, MJane. Sorry for not being more prudent and reading more before posting.

Dee74 04-22-2015 02:50 PM

Like Anna I never put my life on hold - I was simply very careful for a few months about putting myself in situations where alcohol was present.

If you feel ready, go for it - hope you find the perfect job :)

D


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