When Thinking In Sober Mind
 

Hi

Im finally finding myself as a person and not the alcoholic addict and im finding myself feeling guilty and remorse for all the lying and manipulating i did just to get a drink, and then im thinking of all the people i hurt in the past with my behaviour. But now in thinking clearly the 'new me' as i call it would never lie or manipulate the way my addiction did and hurt people close to me. Just made me realise how powerful the addiction was over me and how all i want to do is tell the truth no matter what the consequences are....

It just made me feel really shocked and emotional that I could that and has made me realise it must be in my character/personality which i eager to work on and change to be a better person now im thinking more clearly and not in a haze..:c029:

Fantastic post Mjane !!!

Thanks for sharing Mjane, it is pretty incredible what we can do once we lift the burden of alcohol from our minds and bodies.

Hi MJane, its amazing how much I can relate (As I am sure most others) to what you said. It is very fulfilling to make up for the terrible things we did whilst under the influence..

All the best

of course and that's part of my goals now to make up for the past and apologise genuinely to those i hurt through my journey and embrace and care for the friends and family i still have around me :)

That's a very good attitude, Mjane. We cannot change the things we've done, but we can certainly change what we do now.

Great post again and I identify very much.

Now I honestly don't want to diminish the role of personal responsibility in our choices around alcohol at all, but...

...I also think it is worth remembering that everyday tens of thousands of highly paid marketing execs and advertisers commit their working lives (and massive budgets) to getting people to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes etc. The addictive and destructive qualities of are each well known to say the least, yet the promotion and sale is relentless. They only have to get us to take the first drink or smoke because we will do the rest!!! The success of these products relies in large part on their addictive qualities.

Now, really, I am not saying it is all their fault - we are most certainly in charge of our destinies on this stuff. But most of us started our drinking before we had a massive amount of life experience and we were pretty green and vulnerable to the grip of alcohol. When we are beating ourselves up about previous behaviours, personally, I think just a little mitigation is allowed - a bit of forgiveness. I don't think most of us would have done the worst things we have done if it weren't for alcohol.

I say this because, for me, self-recrimination is not a useful activity, even though I could do it all day long if I am not careful!

I really do love your attitude though and your focus on the future. Try to be compassionate to yourself as you go.

CC

Ah this is the post you mentioned to me earlier!

This is great news. I'm so glad you're feeling good :-)

Thank you CC

I completely agree with you on that i have never thought of it in that way before of course we are in charge of our choices and destinies but sometimes we can be naive. I never to this day thought id be addicted to alcohol (let alone beat an eating disorder at the same time) we have to acknowledge the things we have done but not beat ourselves up.

This journey that we are all on is a hard one to commit and fight to so i think we should all be compassionate to ourselves.

now you have said that it has really made my day and i am proud of myself for coming this far :)

:-)

Well, I never knew the 'old' you, but this version seems pretty unstoppable just now! LOL!

'we have to acknowledge the things we have done but not beat ourselves up.'

I think with this quote you have successfully summed up all I meant to say in my rather wordy post, LOL!

Well done!!

CC