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Old 04-20-2015, 01:13 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi guys

Thank you for all your feedback it was just an innocent question as I am still coming to terms with the fact i am an alcoholic and i so desperately want to recover and be sober because i know drink in my life ruins it. Im 23, and from drinking (combined with bulimia which i have now beaten ) broke my back, my ankle, had a seizure when i tried to stop and last Christmas was discharged from hospital with kidney damage and low potassium and was told i could of died.

I wasn't saying i want to drink moderately i was curious about other peoples journey/experience. I am quite happy to never drink again i already feel amazing, my skin hair and nails are better and my family have noticed how im finally finding the real me if that makes sense.

I am committed to a life of sobriety

MJ x
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:14 PM
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It'd be much easier to just accept that you are an alcoholic or an addict. You are very very unlikely an exception. If you drink you will drink like an alcoholic for the rest of your life!
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:16 PM
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my biggest problem with moderation , was before drinking I would be all for it. Once I started drinking the itch would start , my inhibition levels would drop , the internal eff it button would get activated and I was off to the races, so to speak. That damn itch got me every time, if you know what I mean, moderation is going to be extremely difficult. Way harder than choosing to not drink, that itch is a bitch, and I am not sure if it ever goes away, and by 47 I finally learned to quit trying to see if it does. Well , it's gone now and will never come back, but only because I choose not to drink. I still do everything else in life I want, just not that one thing , and the more time that passes since my last drink the smaller that one thing becomes.
Wish you well
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:24 PM
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great last post there MJane91 - you have been through the mill alright but your resolve is very inspiring. Thanks!

CC
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted by JaneLane View Post
Personally, I can't. I'm 27 and I've spent years trying moderation. The amount of headspace it took up worrying if I had a problem or didn't and my moderating "rules" was crazy.

Sobriety is hard but it's got to be better than all the negative things that alcohol brings me.
Very well put, Jane.

All of the planning that went into trying to drink without calamatous consequences was a huge waste of time and energy.

And the consequences were brutal.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
my biggest problem with moderation , was before drinking I would be all for it. Once I started drinking the itch would start , my inhibition levels would drop , the internal eff it button would get activated and I was off to the races, so to speak. That damn itch got me every time, if you know what I mean, moderation is going to be extremely difficult. Way harder than choosing to not drink, that itch is a bitch, and I am not sure if it ever goes away, and by 47 I finally learned to quit trying to see if it does. Well , it's gone now and will never come back, but only because I choose not to drink. I still do everything else in life I want, just not that one thing , and the more time that passes since my last drink the smaller that one thing becomes.
Wish you well
I think i understand now you'll always think just one or two will be okay but the your inhibitions go out the window. Quitting is the best option especially if like me i relied on it to silence anxiety etc but now that's gone i don't need alcohol i think i was using it as a crutch and i do get urges but the longer and the more time i give it the urges will soon go i assuming.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by MJane91 View Post
I wasn't saying i want to drink moderately i was curious about other peoples journey/experience.
It is certainly a valid question to ask. I know I asked it many times myself, and I tried literally every moderation method there is...even made some up myself. But every single one of them always took me right back to binge drinking every day.

You are very fortunate to have made this decision so early in your life, many of us waited for decades to quit. Hope you can learn a lot here at SR, ask as many questions as you like.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:30 PM
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I am parroting here but I can't drink in moderation. I want as much as I can physically take, regardless if I am stumbling, fighting, or crying. I think if you struggle with finding a stopping point, it's best not to start. I understand your curiosity as I have tried the moderation route before; it doesn't work and I lapse back into the abyss. It's hard to cope with alcohol being everywhere and so accessible and a natural accessory to every. damn. social function. It's also hard to tell someone "I don't drink" without them questioning you. But there are costs and benefits to everything in life. I think the costs of trying to be a moderate drinker outweigh the benefits of feeding an addiction.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by chordcowboy View Post
great last post there MJane91 - you have been through the mill alright but your resolve is very inspiring. Thanks!

CC
Thank you chordcowboy, put a smile on my face i am so positive. Everyones addiction is different in there own way but knowing i beat an eating disorder even whilst i was still drinking and ive beaten that completely its made me want to fight to beat this addiction even more
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:36 PM
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you've endured quite a lot in your short time on this rock.
I hope you understand how much better you will be after you quit completely and for good. As the posters above mention, moderation is like jumping out of an airplane but only wanting to go half way to the ground. Unfortunately, when we take that jump, we're all in once again.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
my biggest problem with moderation , was before drinking I would be all for it. Once I started drinking the itch would start , my inhibition levels would drop , the internal eff it button would get activated and I was off to the races, so to speak. That damn itch got me every time, if you know what I mean, moderation is going to be extremely difficult. Way harder than choosing to not drink, that itch is a bitch, and I am not sure if it ever goes away, and by 47 I finally learned to quit trying to see if it does. Well , it's gone now and will never come back, but only because I choose not to drink. I still do everything else in life I want, just not that one thing , and the more time that passes since my last drink the smaller that one thing becomes.
Wish you well
Sums it up perfectly, love the idea of moderation but it aggravates my itch too....the itch only ever goes when I get some sober time.
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Old 04-20-2015, 03:29 PM
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My experience is this: I drank to get a serious buzz (drunk). Once I got to that point, I would then need to nurse it (drinking more shots per hour) to maintain the level of that buzz. As my body became more tolerant to the alcohol, it required more frequent nursing (more booze) per hour to maintain that level. This progressed until I was drinking copius amounts every night and realized it was becoming not only a health hazard, but an emotional hazard in that my life began to revolve around chasing the buzz.

So, I am pretty convinced that moderate drinking is not an option for me because it would not produce the deisired result that I wanted from drinking in the first place.
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Old 04-20-2015, 03:47 PM
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The great dream of every drinker is to moderate their drinking.

It's worth mentioning for most of us here Moderation may mean to drink as much as we want and not have anything 'bad" happen.

It's an impossibility for drinkers like me.

D
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Old 04-20-2015, 03:51 PM
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I giggled at the great dream line D 5000% agree with you aswell
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Old 04-20-2015, 03:52 PM
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Welcome, glad you're here!

For true alcoholics attempts at moderation were typically tried over and over. Many tried once again to drink "normally" after some sober time - the vast majority do not succeed.

Alcoholism does not discriminate based on age. Maybe go to some face to face support groups and listen to people's stories - listen for similarities if you are highly concerned about your drinking habits.

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Old 04-20-2015, 04:22 PM
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There are so many different forms of alcoholism. Mine is that I can abstain for a week but then I just down upwards of a liter of hard over a night. Some people drink everyday. Some people drink 1 or 2 beers once a week. The problem with you and I is that we are past that point now. 1 or 2 beer does nothing for us and as soon as youve consumed it, youll start convincing yourself to drink more. It is in our DNA to drink heavy when we do drink. Moderation doesnt work for 99% of people on this forum.
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:19 PM
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I tried to moderate many many times over many many years. And it never worked. When I first started drinking, three or four drinks made me feel great and I stopped later in the evening. I still had an off button. Then my off button broke.

I firmly believe that the reason that alcoholics cannot drink moderately is because our tolerance get so high and I do not believe once your tolerance gets huge, you're ever satisfied with any less.

Well then somebody might ask, well doesn't your tolerance go down if you take a break from alcohol? What's interesting is that when you start drinking again after a period of abstinence you pick up right where you left off. I don't even like to imagine it because I'm a nondrinker now but if I drank again, let's say, I would probably drink to a blackout right off the bat. I would not stop at one or two.

I have one story of mind of a time I was abstinent for a while and then drank again. I was not satisfied with two or three. I drank about 10 or 12 which was actually a little less than I used to drink and boy was the hangover worse than ever.

Keep reading lots of posts around here and you'll see that moderation does not work once you get past a certain point.

Hypothetically in a fantasy world if I were stuck on a desert island and still drinking and three beers washed up on the sand, I would not think "cool three beers!" I would think "oh my God, only three beers?!?!"
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:55 PM
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Great thread and a good question. I don't think there is any "right" answer other than to agree with what many on this thread have already commented. Its like asking what's the difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic? I'm not sure. The heavy drinker could very well be an alcoholic and just doesn't want to admit it, and a self described alcoholic might just be a little uptight about drinking, if that makes any sense.

In the end I know that I have flirted with disaster with alcohol which is why I found this site and have maintained a membership. I wish you the very best.
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by MJane91 View Post
Hi

in 23 and i know i have a drinking problem and i want to commit to being sober and staying that way...

has any alcoholics been sober and learnt to drink moderately in the future or is that a no go area?!

just curious

MJ x
Isn't that the definition of an alcoholic*? Someone who has been unsuccessfully moderating for 'x' amount of years?


*I like the word 'alcohol addict' better.
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
The great dream of every drinker is to moderate their drinking.

It's worth mentioning for most of us here Moderation may mean to drink as much as we want and not have anything 'bad" happen.

It's an impossibility for drinkers like me.

D
Oh my god. That is exactly it!
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