SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Newcomers to Recovery (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/)
-   -   Day 0... Again (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/365170-day-0-again.html)

amp123 04-20-2015 01:19 AM

Day 0... Again
 
It's not my first time here...in fact thanks to this community I managed a six week sober streak last summer until I stupidly convinced myself that I would be able to drink socially and responsibly. Wrong, just wrong...

Last Monday I decided to try again and made it to about 8pm, so I thought that this Monday I would reach out to you guys and maybe find some wisdom to help me strengthen my resolve.

Feels weird to be back. Hope I can stay...

Dee74 04-20-2015 01:40 AM

Welcome back Amp :)

plug yourself back into the community - there's a ton of support and good ideas here :)

D

bookmaven 04-20-2015 01:40 AM

Hi, I'm glad you're here! I think sometimes we get caught up in the counting of days and forget that even though we may have relapsed the time we did spend sober is still a valuable learning experience. I relapsed many times before I was actually ready to be sober. I experimented with trying controlled drinking, counting drinks, etc. in the end none of those things worked for me. If I had not relapsed I would not have learned that I am completely incapable of having just one drink because I learned that my brain is not wired to tell me when I've had enough. One drink by itself made me sick, two drinks and I forgot about feeling sick, but by that time I was no longer thinking for myself. Even a drop of alcohol now would send the message to my brain that the party is on.

What did you learn from your relapse?

What will you do differently this time?

At first it was all I could do just to promise myself that just for today (or even the next hour) I would not drink. Then the next day I did the same thing. Pretty soon I had a few weeks, then a month, then half a year and now a year.

I had to change the people I hung out with, the places I went, and avoid things that triggered me to drink. And get a support system.

I am still a work in progress.

mecanix 04-20-2015 01:42 AM

Morning Amp ,
I put off getting sober for a long time .

There are also methods or programs that can help , AVRT , RR , AA . It's worth having a look through the forums here to learn a bit about each to see if any make sense to you .

Welcome back ,

m

Soberwolf 04-20-2015 02:04 AM

Welcome bk read through & apply yourself to a sobriety plan friend

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

JaneLane 04-20-2015 02:30 AM

Welcome,

Yes being able to "just have one" has been part of many downfalls for me. A lot of us here can relate I'm sure :-)

I definitely recommend putting a plan together to deal with social situations and to keep yourself busy.

amp123 04-20-2015 03:03 AM

Thanks so much for all the encouragement! Bookmaven asked a couple of interesting questions:

What did I learn from my relapse?

From my relapse I realised that I will never be able to be a social drinker or drink in the seemingly untroubled way that other people seem to be able to do. I understand that I have a condition which makes it dangerous for me to be in contact with alcohol.

I also learned that I liked and, importantly, respected myself when I wasn't drinking but that the opposite is true most of the time when I drink. A situation I would deal with by... well, having another drink, of course! I understand that this is a short-term gain, long-term lose situation and the conclusion to give up drink is the only reasonable course of action.

I also saw that my relationships improved when I was off the drink and I was performing better at work.

The other question was:

What do I intend to do differently this time?

Not mess it up is a good place to start! I worked hard on strategies last time and that knowledge is still there. I just need to be aware of who I am, what I've got, what I need to do... But I need to be STRONGER... I need to be 100% committed to this... I also know that that is very easy to say and there are dark, dark times ahead. At least forewarned is fore-armed as they say!

I'm also open to any good advice and strategies that have worked for you guys, so please help me out if you feel you can!

I'll let you know how I get on, but heart-felt thanks once again for all this immediate support.

JaneLane 04-20-2015 03:07 AM

Amp,

I'm with you when you talk about what you learned from the relapse. They're hard things to admit and I'm right there with you!

IOAA2 04-20-2015 04:33 AM

Hi.

Your intensions are good and helpful along with many suggestions made here. The problem is as time goes on most people feel things are going good so settle back thinking this nasty has past. We stop reading and posting, get involved in other more enjoyable things and forget the pains that got them here.

We must remember that our alcoholism is progressing even if we are not drinking and seeing that alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling, insidious and is constantly there in the background ready to take over again in a heartbeat.

For long term recovery we need to work continually on changing the person we were when drinking. That is often our feelings of anger, anxiety, insecurity, isolation, denial and on and on.
This road to recovery is far more than just not drinking is can result in being comfortable in our own skin. Remember it’s long term.

BE WELL

Mountainmanbob 04-20-2015 04:45 AM


Originally Posted by amp123 (Post 5327573)

From my relapse I realised that I will never be able to be a social drinker or drink in the seemingly untroubled way that other people seem to be able to do. I understand that I have a condition which makes it dangerous for me to be in contact with alcohol.

Those are thoughts that I keep close each and every day.

Good luck wished for you,
Bob

foryoumyson 04-20-2015 05:06 AM

Welcome back this time I think you should stick around this websites really helping me with my recovery when ever you feel an urge or your skins crawling come read and post away .

carlingford 04-20-2015 05:20 AM

Hi Amp welcome back and wise choice, I recently relapsed and know the feeling, had to dig deep to get on board again and glad I did, had no choice really.. continue on and die.. good choice, well done and Good Luck.

amp123 04-20-2015 06:33 AM

By the way, I have seen a group called "class of April 2015". Could I join that group? I can't see how to do it... Anyone know?? Thanks!!

ScottFromWI 04-20-2015 06:45 AM


Originally Posted by amp123 (Post 5327859)
By the way, I have seen a group called "class of April 2015". Could I join that group? I can't see how to do it... Anyone know?? Thanks!!

Joining a monthly group would be a great idea. All you need to do to join is post in the thread, it is right here in the newcomers section.

doggonecarl 04-20-2015 06:46 AM


Originally Posted by amp123 (Post 5327859)
Could I join that group? I can't see how to do it... Anyone know?? Thanks!!

All you have to do to "join" is post. The thread is for those who have quit in the month of April. So click on the class thread and post away for support and encouragement.

PurpleKnight 04-20-2015 12:34 PM

Welcome back Amp!! :)

FreeOwl 04-20-2015 01:59 PM

welcome back.

soberisbetter

:ring

bookmaven 04-21-2015 01:14 AM

I remembered another thing I used to do when I felt compelled to drink even though I didn't want to. I would think of this monster that lived inside my brain always whispering to me that "this time it will be ok. You can have just one." And various other lies to get me to drink. Some people here refer to that monster as AV or addicted voice/alcoholic voice. In my imagination I called this monster The Beast. The Beast didn't care about me. The Beast didn't care if I got arrested or hurt or even dead. All The Beast ever wanted was alcohol, 24/7. If I recognized the craving for alcohol for what it was, just the addicted part of my brain playing tricks on me, then I could tell The Beast to go to hell and say NO.

This worked for me! I don't get cravings as often anymore, so my recovery looks a bit different now. But I know that just because The Beast is sleeping now doesn't mean it won't wake up and start spewing lies to me again. Sometimes just the smell of alcohol or the sound of ice cubes clinking in a glass will be enough to wake The Beast. I have to pay attention to that part of my brain that is (and probably always will be) addicted to alcohol.

amp123 04-21-2015 01:39 AM

So, I made it to day 2 (thanks guys!). It feels a bit different this time from my first attempt. I think on the first go part of me felt that this was "just for a while" or "till I got myself together". When I went back I set strict guidelines which I was continually bending and breaking. This time I know that that's it. This stuff is no good for me or those around me. Feels good to be clean today ;)

carlingford 04-21-2015 01:45 AM

Well done AMP you doing good :)


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:40 AM.