A Newcomer's New Day Hello. I am a newcomer to SR. I have been binge drinking on the weekends for about 10 years now. I am 29 and have been drinking every weekend since my undergrad days. A little background will be helpful. I am from a small town whose engagements center around alcohol. My parents always drank; my friends all drank; nothing seemed amiss. But as we know this is a progressive disease. For the past year or so I have engaged in some very heavy drinking. My drunk alter ego is hateful, temperamental, aggressive, and borderline violent. When I start I have a lot of issues stopping. I don't want 2-3 drinks, I want 10-20. I want to status until 3am and drink until I collapse.i am frightened by my actions and am horribly disappointed with myself for my behavior. I have insulted an attacked every person in my life who cares for me. Most of the time I don't remember it. I am just told what has happened and I see the look of hurt and betrayal in their eyes. I deflect my anxieties onto my family because of my drinking; I cannot channel my emotions while in that state. They say you only hurt the ones you love because, deep down, you know they'll forgive you. But my parents and my husband don't deserve what I have unleashed on them. No one deserves that. I am fortunate because I can go several days without any physiological issues from alcohol abstinence. My biggest test will be this Friday, which I "mark on my calendar" (as the hubby says) as a day to get drunk. I don't want to do that, anymore. I see now that so many bad things can happen with that first drink. So here I am, in an attempt to prevent the evil, drunk me from arising from the depths of the Absolut bottle and unleashing a tyranny in the people I love and making a spectacle of myself in front of others. Thank you. |
Glad your here Girl....you will find much support & encouragement here...know you are not along in this & be kind to yourself. |
Originally Posted by MariahGayle
(Post 5327333)
Glad your here Girl....you will find much support & encouragement here...know you are not along in this & be kind to yourself. |
Welcome to Sr GGB. You'll find a ton of support here. You are not alone in this fight. It might not feel like it right now, but you have the power in you to never take another drink. You have the strength to stop this roller coaster ride. Lean on us as much as you need. Welcome. |
Welcome. I too am a weekend binge drinker and have been doing it since my teens. I just threw a year of sobriety away a few mi ths back. It was the best I've ever felt. Waking up every weekend sober and productive was a amazing. You can do this! |
Welcome GGB, Another weekend warrior here. Yes, it can be just as destructive as daily alcoholism. But there's great news. You don't have to live this way any more. In fact, if you're like me, nearly all of your problems can be eliminated just by not drinking. It does take some effort and reprogramming your thoughts and habits. But so worth it! You can do this! |
Welcome, I was also deep into blackout drama. I too, became aggressive verbally and even physically a few times. Waking up the next day I could gave died of the shame, depression, and honestly confusion. Where did those things even come from? The only way to stop the blackouts was to stop drinking completely. I tried for years to moderate and try to not black out that obviously that did not work. It's a big relief to know that I will never black out again as long as I don't drink. I never thought I would stop. I didn't really think I had it in me but I did so you can too. |
Hi and welcome GGB :) You'll find a lot of support here. Have you thought about what you'll do on Friday instead of drinking? D |
Welcome GGB |
Welcome! Like Dee said, do you have a plan for Friday since you won't be drinking? That feeling of waking up on Saturday morning, hangover free, will feel good :-) |
Originally Posted by ccam1973
(Post 5327344)
Welcome to Sr GGB. You'll find a ton of support here. You are not alone in this fight. It might not feel like it right now, but you have the power in you to never take another drink. You have the strength to stop this roller coaster ride. Lean on us as much as you need. Welcome. |
Originally Posted by Indenial618
(Post 5327345)
Welcome. I too am a weekend binge drinker and have been doing it since my teens. I just threw a year of sobriety away a few mi ths back. It was the best I've ever felt. Waking up every weekend sober and productive was a amazing. You can do this! |
Originally Posted by Fluffer
(Post 5327355)
Welcome GGB, Another weekend warrior here. Yes, it can be just as destructive as daily alcoholism. But there's great news. You don't have to live this way any more. In fact, if you're like me, nearly all of your problems can be eliminated just by not drinking. It does take some effort and reprogramming your thoughts and habits. But so worth it! You can do this! |
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
(Post 5327378)
Welcome, I was also deep into blackout drama. I too, became aggressive verbally and even physically a few times. Waking up the next day I could gave died of the shame, depression, and honestly confusion. Where did those things even come from? The only way to stop the blackouts was to stop drinking completely. I tried for years to moderate and try to not black out that obviously that did not work. It's a big relief to know that I will never black out again as long as I don't drink. I never thought I would stop. I didn't really think I had it in me but I did so you can too. |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 5327383)
Hi and welcome GGB :) You'll find a lot of support here. Have you thought about what you'll do on Friday instead of drinking? D |
Originally Posted by soberwolf
(Post 5327524)
Welcome GGB |
Originally Posted by JaneLane
(Post 5327540)
Welcome! Like Dee said, do you have a plan for Friday since you won't be drinking? That feeling of waking up on Saturday morning, hangover free, will feel good :-) |
That first coffee in the morning minus a hangover is magical! We've got this :-) |
Welcome to the Forum!! :wave: |
If I can fill those few hours with something productive, I know I can make it through the evening. we'll be here too :) D |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 5328543)
Changing your routine can help. I know you're dependent in a way on what your bf does but it might just be the difference between sitting around and not sitting around that makes the difference? we'll be here too :) D |
Good Morning, Dear Friends. I appreciate every post. Everyone has an understanding of what I am going through, and I feel such support in that premise. It's day 4 and I feel even better. Of course it's the weekend I fear, but as each of you have said, channelling the cringe into productive inspiration not to drink is pivotal. I still cringe, and the urge to cry still exists. In an odd way I feel the pain I've cause myself and others is a sort of retribution to the pain I've caused in order to party. Such a loss. |
Originally Posted by GirlGoneBad
(Post 5331099)
Good Morning, Dear Friends. I appreciate every post. Everyone has an understanding of what I am going through, and I feel such support in that premise. It's day 4 and I feel even better. Of course it's the weekend I fear, but as each of you have said, channelling the cringe into productive inspiration not to drink is pivotal. I still cringe, and the urge to cry still exists. In an odd way I feel the pain I've cause myself and others is a sort of retribution to the pain I've caused in order to party. Such a loss. You don't deserve to live in pain or unhappiness, onwards and upwards :-) |
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