My wife is selfish
quat
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,806
My wife is selfish
Not in an obvious overt way, but I can read between the lines and get the sense of what it she is after.
She wants a spouse that is present , tries to be responsible, a spouse that can be counted on to be partner in what goes into having the best chance to build a good life .
She wants someone that can be supportive , emotionally and materially, a partner that at the very least uses their time and energy to do and be those things. A father to her children and a partner working with her to achieve positive goals , on a daily basis and with an eye to long term happiness.
I get the feeling she will never let go of the desire to have these things. I always knew she was selfish this way and I wanted those same things, too. But I tried to manage being that kind of a person and at the same time be the drinking person I was.
The way I drank didn't allow me to be both at the same time. The way I drank eventually left me addicted to alcohol and my life revovled around it. If I wasn't nursing a hangover I was working on getting the next one, which meant not putting my full energy into helping around the house, not engaging with our children , even resenting doing anything that was keeping me from getting to my drinking. I didn't care ,or ignored , that the way I drank was probably putting my employment in jeopardy.
You can't get sober 'for' anyone else, you have to want to get sober for yourself. I decided I wanted to get sober for selfish reasons. I decided I wanted to be the kind of a person my wife selfishly wanted as a partner , and as it turns out the kind of a person I really wanted to be, I never really wanted to be a drunk. It also turns out I don't have to be, no one 'has' to be.
My wife is very selfish and why shouldn't she be?, I am too
She wants a spouse that is present , tries to be responsible, a spouse that can be counted on to be partner in what goes into having the best chance to build a good life .
She wants someone that can be supportive , emotionally and materially, a partner that at the very least uses their time and energy to do and be those things. A father to her children and a partner working with her to achieve positive goals , on a daily basis and with an eye to long term happiness.
I get the feeling she will never let go of the desire to have these things. I always knew she was selfish this way and I wanted those same things, too. But I tried to manage being that kind of a person and at the same time be the drinking person I was.
The way I drank didn't allow me to be both at the same time. The way I drank eventually left me addicted to alcohol and my life revovled around it. If I wasn't nursing a hangover I was working on getting the next one, which meant not putting my full energy into helping around the house, not engaging with our children , even resenting doing anything that was keeping me from getting to my drinking. I didn't care ,or ignored , that the way I drank was probably putting my employment in jeopardy.
You can't get sober 'for' anyone else, you have to want to get sober for yourself. I decided I wanted to get sober for selfish reasons. I decided I wanted to be the kind of a person my wife selfishly wanted as a partner , and as it turns out the kind of a person I really wanted to be, I never really wanted to be a drunk. It also turns out I don't have to be, no one 'has' to be.
My wife is very selfish and why shouldn't she be?, I am too
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