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-   -   The red flag just went up (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/364985-red-flag-just-went-up.html)

countrygirl2014 04-17-2015 12:13 PM

The red flag just went up
 
I decided to communicate w my significant other about my increasing discontent in this relationship. (I did that post the other day about his drinking, lack of emotion, and low libido). I asked him to go to the doctor. I explained how I have been feeling neglected and he defended himself saying he thought our relations, or lack thereof were normal. I said perhaps the constant drinking on his part is the cause of his low libido. He pondered that for a minute and I could feel the defenses rise, so I said maybe he has low testosterone and the doctor can address it. He spouted out "yeah! That's it!" Now that it is official I am living with an active alcoholic, I will try and put all my man issues on the family and friends page. I will seek out alanon as well. Only an alcoholic would take a kick to his manhood over a possible drinking problem. God forbid the doctor takes away his 10+ beers a night.

Jennifer

FreeOwl 04-17-2015 12:24 PM

oh man.....

take care of yourself countrygirl.... I know it is really hard but I hope that you'll keep your focus on what YOU can control - which is you. And YOUR sobriety.

:ring

Anna 04-17-2015 12:30 PM

Oh Jennifer, I think it's good that he's willing to go to the dr.

I'm glad you're working on things and I hope that you take care of yourself through this process.

Wastinglife 04-17-2015 12:45 PM

I was living with a girl at the same time my drinking progressed into full blown alcoholism. I would drink a few beers in her presence but hid bottles of vodka which I drank from at any opportunity. I lost interest in sex. I had zero libido and rarely felt the urge. Not even online porn interested me.

Alcohol does suppress testosterone production and if a guy is drinking everyday heavily, over time it can kill the sex drive. I eventually went to rehab and came out feeling like a 16 yr old again. Raging hormones after 2 years of daily vodka drinking.

countrygirl2014 04-17-2015 12:52 PM

Oh god that would be awesome. Raging hormones. Then I'll be on here complaining that he won't leave me alone, lol. Women are never happy.
All kidding aside, I'm not supposed to do someone else's inventory but that was the confirmation I needed. My sobriety comes first. No matter what. This is MY sobriety. The only one that can take that away is ME. As I continue to clear up and heal, I can make better decisions and communicate properly. Today I am sober. That is my priority. I will be ok today. One day at a time.

Jennifer

Soberwolf 04-17-2015 12:57 PM

(((CG))) i agree with Anna

countrygirl2014 04-17-2015 01:09 PM

I thank you guys for all of your advice and patience.

Jennifer


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