bp09

So i fell back to the standard crap. Made 24 hrs then fell into the 'well whats one drink' and 'im not gonna stop drinking all together cause everyone i know drinks' etc, etc. Then the worst happened. My best friend just passed away last Sunday in a sudden accident. I havent gone over the deep end but the alcohol is still my go to and it is way too much - so maybe it is over the deep end. Its the standard 3 super stiff rum and cokes every night as it has been for over 10 years. I know it is affecting me physically but now i am using this loss as another excuse to drink.
Back to why i love you guys. I get tentative to come back and admit my repeated failures but i never feel judged. Only encouraged to get back on my feet and try again. For that i am thankful. This is gonna be a tough couple more days. The funeral is on saturday and i am a pall bearer and am playing guitar with a couple other friends at the service. Dont give up on me guys. This bottle is pissing me off more and more and i feel so weak that i couldnt get past 24 hrs this last time. Hugs and fist bumps to you all!

Pouncer

What an inspiring post. So sorry to hear about your friend. I imagine you are trying to make sense of the whole thing at the moment. It sounds like you have a pretty good perspective on your problem and I hope you will be back more frequently to fight the good fight along with all of us.

Best wishes on Saturday. We will be with you in spirit.

matilda123

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My thoughts are with you and your friend's loved ones.

Sending hugs and support xoxoxo

Verte

bp09, that is really tough. We are all here with you. Keep connected and typing it out here.

Dee74

I'm really sorry for your loss bp.
Don't lose yourself as well, ok? we're here for you

you can regain your sobriety - do it now not later

D

bp09

Thank you guys again. Dont know how you guys do it, but you are truly a light and are so appreciated!

Soberwolf

Sorry for your loss i agree with D ((()))

JaneLane

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. That sounds very stressful and upsetting. Don't be too hard on yourself. This can be your last "day one" and there's lots of support here for you.

sugarbear1

You have my deepest condolences on your loss.

TennantSmith

((((hugs)))))

Gonnachange

Sorry about your loss.

Anna

You must believe in yourself and that you can and will do this. We do understand how hard it is.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend.

PurpleKnight

Very sorry for your loss bp!!