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Sober Weekender Thread April 16 until...

Old 04-19-2015, 10:00 AM
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Present.
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:16 AM
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FaD, wah wah wah wah. I still hear that teacher talking. Hope you are learning something despite the pain.

Twal, good luck with the move. Change is hard. I think we've all been there. You can do it.

I like Behan's post on stoicism. We can't expect life to be pain free and always sunshine and roses. Sometimes we don't want to do something but have to. We're all mostly pain averse but at times we have to suck it up and just do it. That's how I felt when I quit drinking.

Just pondering. Mr. Ruby didn't come home last night. Again. Cashed his paycheck again and has nothing to give me for bills and child care. Sending me pathetic texts he can't believe how selfish he is. Doesn't know what to do. Well, he does know. He's just not willing to experience the discomfort of doing it so he stays stuck. Glad I'm not him.
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:21 AM
  # 343 (permalink)  
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Olive😅 you are naughty

It's such a nice day here.

I'm trying to get daughter no 2 to read the online edition of the Baltimore Sun so that she will know what's going on locally when she gets there. She is more interested in Vivien Leighs Scarlet O'harassment outfit being sold. Who buys that sort of stuff? and why
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:50 AM
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Returned from the park. Making grocery list. Saoutchik, I'm always amazed at what people read and why. Sometimes even reading the actual news feels like that.
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:59 AM
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Know what you mean Ruby

Not possible to watch any news in the UK at the moment as it's always some turd in suit and tie talking about the general election
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Old 04-19-2015, 11:26 AM
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Ruby, I'm sorry about the difficult situation presented by your spouse. One thing I learn from you is that one can't control all our circumstances but we can control our reaction to them. That's a lesson I really need to work on. I hope the remainder of your Sunday goes well.
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Old 04-19-2015, 11:30 AM
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Scarlet O'harassment! Why don't I preview my posts

Lame excuse but I am on my mobile
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Old 04-19-2015, 12:11 PM
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Smile

So this is my last lecture to sit through and my brain is fried. So for my own entertainment I'm posting this pic a fellow attendee just shared with me. It's purpose is to pay homage to the image I see when signing in to SR, to stick to the pet theme this weekend and to remind myself why I workout. Enjoy.

Last edited by Mark1014; 04-19-2015 at 06:32 PM.
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Old 04-19-2015, 12:46 PM
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Oh God, my eyes!
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Old 04-19-2015, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by fromadistance View Post
It's purpose is to pay homage to the image I see when signing in to SR, to stick to the pet theme this weekend and to remind myself why I workout. Enjoy.
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Old 04-19-2015, 01:13 PM
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Checking in. I lost three carefully-composed responses to thread. Ack!

I can relate to the bottle-hiding guilt and being a slave to my alcohol inventory around the house. It was awful. I was so exhausted by my constant lies, excuses, manipulations and the resulting deterioration that I couldn't handle it. I knew I was an alcoholic alright, and that what I was doing was very spiritually and socially irresponsible. I promised myself I would quit soon so I could move past the guilt and stress of the slow unraveling of my life. 'Soon' stretched on for months.

I am starting to feel stress and an itch of boredom coming on. If I don't address it, I will be back where I started - if not today, then some other time in the near future. I am a little bit proud of myself for actually recognizing and identifying my feelings. Before, I didn't even know what I was feeling or that it was even there until I blew up, melted down or hid under my covers for 2 days straight.

Today is different. I am going to plan ahead and do some self-care for the day and get a handle on things before I am overwhelmed.
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Old 04-19-2015, 01:24 PM
  # 352 (permalink)  
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Della! Missing you at the moment
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Old 04-19-2015, 01:27 PM
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Ruby, I am so sorry you are dealing with a difficult situation. You seem pretty grounded about it and keeping his addiction separate from yours. Good job.

FaD, wow. Sexy pic. I bet he gets all the girls.
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:01 PM
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Pouncer, thanks. We've been married ten years and over that ten years he's had more stretches of sobriety time than me. He just gets that itch. He knows how to get sober. Just gives in. Doesn't fight it. But honestly, I think I'm better prepared to stay sober than he is. He's worked the steps in AA. He's been to treatment several times. But I come on SR and learn. How to be paying attention to what's going on mentally with urges. Not something I saw in treatment too much. Or not stressed urgently enough.

FaD, my eyes hurt now. That is awful. Why? Though it's not as bad as the "I hate my mom" tattoo I saw on a guys face at work. Childhood issues??

So, I'm going back to living my normal person life where I get things done on the weekend and my biggest regret is not having enough time.
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:11 PM
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Hang in there Ruby. You'll be okay....
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:28 PM
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Thanks canguy! So will you too.

Making dinner. Pasta with pepperoni and cheese. Not gourmet but grandma makes it and the kids will eat it. Tired of wasting food.
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:32 PM
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I just had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen for some time. She has tomorrow off so she asked me if I would mind if she had a glass of wine? I said no, not at all. She ended up having three, while I had a dessert and coffee. Anyway we had a frank discussion. She told me she worries sometimes about herself as well, she wouldn't be drinking at all if she had work tomorrow, and she doesn't keep alcohol in her house. She also spoke about another friend of ours, whose mother died last year. She has given up alcohol completely as she was afraid she would end up going down this road...

Anyway she told me that she thought my alcoholism was not the root of my problems. The root of my problems is my social anxiety. I would have to agree, but I thought I was getting better. At my last meeting one of the women said to me "you are doing great. You have started looking at people in the eyes when you are speaking to them. You are so brave and we are all so proud of you".

I had a lovely time with my friend, and the food was excellent, but I feel a bit deflated, or something. I am sitting here re-reading one of my favourites:

'She Let Go' - a poem by Rev. Safire Rose
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore".

I am sorry for your troubles Ruby2 xx
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:50 PM
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Thanks Tetra. I do love that poem. Just let go. Sometimes the hardest thing to do but which will ultimately lead to the greatest happiness.
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Old 04-19-2015, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by saoutchik View Post
Della! Missing you at the moment
Awww you made me smile. Thank you
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Old 04-19-2015, 03:19 PM
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FaD ahhhh! I sent this pic to my mom and her response was "do you think she's going to regret that?" Good lord! I hope that's NOT a woman XD

Checking in, I'm here day 3 and I'm sober!!!!!! This is a huge accomplishment for me, because with my work schedule Sunday is my "Friday"- I have the next two days off. I usually drink excessively on Sundays the moment I get out of work, but I'm not today. I got homefrom work and realized that I'm just tired- my job is often stressful and very physically active. So I'm resting and not drinking. Having some snacks and watching "kitchen nightmares" on Netflix. I've got the windows open, breeze and birds. It's a very nice spring evening. I can't promise anything got tomorrow, but today I'm not drinking.

I really want to get back to aa though, bc I'm not confident I can do this on my own.

Regardless, I have some plans for tomorrow and I'm looking forward to NOT spending the day in bed with a hangover.
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