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Old 04-15-2015, 12:16 PM
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Not getting much done ...

Evening all! Day 5 coming to a close for me. My recent routine of coming straight home from work - ignoring the local - and coming more or less straight on SR is working well. Decaf tea by my side and dinner already prepared (I made a massive curry last night - about 4 days worth). One concern I have which is starting to arise now is that I'm not doing anything else. My whole focus is on remaining sober and getting healthy again. I spend almost all my waking hours thinking about staying sober, or doing things that help me stay sober. From what I've read I understand this is meant to be the way to start with (some say a year of devotion to sobriety is necessary before committing to challenging goals) but I'm starting to worry a little bit about when I will start to be able to integrate these pastimes and so on back into daily life without it threatening my sobriety. For example, I'm studying for a photography degree in my spare time and I can't afford to get too far behind as I'm getting close to running out of time for this year's work (this late submission of assignments was certainly made much worse by my drinking). Sobriety is an absolute priority for me, above all else, as without it all else will fail anyway - I know that - but sooner rather than later I'm going to have to change my routine a little bit. Does anyone else have this concern, or when did you feel able to back off the sobriety obsession a bit, allowing you to spend more sober time doing the things you enjoy? I realise this may sound slightly over-confident for someone only on Day 5 but I do need to shift my focus a bit soon if I'm to pass this year. Any advice on this would be most welcome.
Best Wishes everyone!
C
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Chadders View Post
Evening all! Day 5 coming to a close for me. My recent routine of coming straight home from work - ignoring the local - and coming more or less straight on SR is working well. Decaf tea by my side and dinner already prepared (I made a massive curry last night - about 4 days worth). One concern I have which is starting to arise now is that I'm not doing anything else. My whole focus is on remaining sober and getting healthy again. I spend almost all my waking hours thinking about staying sober, or doing things that help me stay sober. From what I've read I understand this is meant to be the way to start with (some say a year of devotion to sobriety is necessary before committing to challenging goals) but I'm starting to worry a little bit about when I will start to be able to integrate these pastimes and so on back into daily life without it threatening my sobriety. For example, I'm studying for a photography degree in my spare time and I can't afford to get too far behind as I'm getting close to running out of time for this year's work (this late submission of assignments was certainly made much worse by my drinking). Sobriety is an absolute priority for me, above all else, as without it all else will fail anyway - I know that - but sooner rather than later I'm going to have to change my routine a little bit. Does anyone else have this concern, or when did you feel able to back off the sobriety obsession a bit, allowing you to spend more sober time doing the things you enjoy? I realise this may sound slightly over-confident for someone only on Day 5 but I do need to shift my focus a bit soon if I'm to pass this year. Any advice on this would be most welcome.
Best Wishes everyone!
C
Nonsense

I started picking up new activities and hobbies right away

Exercise
Weightlifting
Biking
Skateboarding
Reading
Movies
Shopping etc etc etc

Helped me feel better, have some pride and confidence, and take my mind off of drinking.
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:36 PM
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Glad that's working for you Chewy, but I still feel like I need to bombard my head with good thoughts to not allow the bad ones in. I know a year seems excessive but I'd be interested to know if others succeeded (or failed) after getting involved with challenging stuff early on. I'd like to think you're right but at this stage I'm being very cautious.
Cheers
C
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Chadders View Post
My whole focus is on remaining sober and getting healthy again. I spend almost all my waking hours thinking about staying sober, or doing things that help me stay sober. From what I've read I understand this is meant to be the way to start with (some say a year of devotion to sobriety is necessary before committing to challenging goals) but I'm starting to worry a little bit about when I will start to be able to integrate these pastimes and so on back into daily life without it threatening my sobriety.
Congrats on 5 days sober. Your focus should be on your sobriety. Your number one focus. As for integrating other goals, it's okay to think about it...BUT YOU ARE FIVE DAYS SOBER!

Patience.
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:43 PM
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Don't be cautious- he's just given you good advice by telling you what worked for him. You'll soon get bored if you just spend all your spare time thinking about sobriety and not actually taking time out to fill it with things you enjoy doing. The whole point of getting sober in the first place is so you can enrich your life with actions that are pro active and enjoyable. So, what's stopping you? I'm 7 days sober today, and I have a ton of hobbies and tasks I'm taking on. Procrastination or obsessive thoughts are out the window now! I'm taking on this new life head on!

Don't think about it- just do it!!
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:50 PM
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+3rd Step Prayer every morning and night, and EVERY time I needed it throughout the day.
+God direct my thinking, God direct my thinking, God direct my thinking...
+Web Search for AA Speaker Messages, then download them or burn them to CDs.
+Journal of my $cR#w#d-up thinking on and off throughout the day.
+WORK THE 12 STEPS
+Call others that are SERIOUS about Sobriety and Recovery.
+Pray & Meditate
+Read the AA Big Book
+Post & Read on Sober Recovery Community
+WORK THE 12 STEPS
+Post & Read on Sober Recovery Community
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:53 PM
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Advice much appreciated. At the moment I'm siding with doggonecarl but I'd like to agree with Gabrielle and Chewy and just get out there and start doing stuff. Problem is, that sounds too much like the last times I've tried to stop when I just found myself drinking again. I'm certainly going to stick with my routine for the time being because it's working but maybe I'm being slightly too hard on myself and need to get more active. Food for thought for sure.
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Chadders View Post
Glad that's working for you Chewy, but I still feel like I need to bombard my head with good thoughts to not allow the bad ones in. I know a year seems excessive but I'd be interested to know if others succeeded (or failed) after getting involved with challenging stuff early on. I'd like to think you're right but at this stage I'm being very cautious.
Cheers
C
If I personally didn't start doing stuff right away I know I would have relapsed.

Having new goals and activities is very rewarding and distracting. Plus when you starting trying new things and accomplishing goals if gives you much more motivation to stay sober. I lost 15lbs so far and if I were to consider drinking again it would be all for nothing.
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:00 PM
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Just take it slow, man. Guard your sobriety, but do what you need to do. I'm at about 3 months and am just now starting to contemplate my next step. Up until now it's been primarily about keeping myself sober and learning to deal. I'm not saying you need to hole up and do nothing but obsess over it for the foreseeable future, just try to cut yourself some slack. This isn't easy!

Best wishes!
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Chadders View Post
I'm certainly going to stick with my routine for the time being because it's working ...
You'll know when it's time.

Let me add, there's plenty of stuff you are doing. Life doesn't let us hide our heads. You said you're cooking...that isn't recovery related. You work. That's not recovery related. Life can and will make its demands on us, and we have to respond. Doing it sober...that's the challenge of recovery.

Good luck.
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:01 PM
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Thanks RDB3. I am very serious about sobriety and recovery, but I'm trying to get the balance right. If I get fed up with disciplining myself in sobriety, might I just go back to the old ways? I need to continue as I am for the time being, I know that, but as I said I'm already starting to think about the future and goals but I don't want to upset what I've currently achieved.
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:05 PM
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Chadders, I can relate to your concerns. Know why? My very first post to SR was because I had a similar concern. I got great advice.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:10 PM
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Thank you everyone. I really appreciate the comments! This is why I love this forum; without input from others you can bury your head a bit and head off down a route that perhaps isn't the right one. Remaining sober is the no.1 priority and will trump everything else but yes, I think I do need to maybe obsess a bit less!
:-)
Best Wishes
C
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Chadders View Post
Thank you everyone. I really appreciate the comments! This is why I love this forum; without input from others you can bury your head a bit and head off down a route that perhaps isn't the right one. Remaining sober is the no.1 priority and will trump everything else but yes, I think I do need to maybe obsess a bit less!
:-)
Best Wishes
C
I'm not saying do exactly what I did, but rather that its ok to tackle something if you feel ready.

Don't be scared man. Be brave
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
Chadders, I can relate to your concerns. Know why? My very first post to SR was because I had a similar concern. I got great advice.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
That's a great link Carl - thank you!
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Chadders View Post
Thanks RDB3. I am very serious about sobriety and recovery, but I'm trying to get the balance right. If I get fed up with disciplining myself in sobriety, might I just go back to the old ways? I need to continue as I am for the time being, I know that, but as I said I'm already starting to think about the future and goals but I don't want to upset what I've currently achieved.
I could never sustain the "discipline" for long. I always got tired of it because it became a chore, and looked like constant self sacrifice, so I always went back to the old ways.

Difficult as it may be to understand until you have experienced it, what RDB3 is suggesting quite rapidly changed the whole staying sober deal from a chore or discipline, into a pleasure. It resulted in a whole new outlook on life for me which has brought about permanent sobriety. I have a pretty cool life these days and the thought of drinking or not drinking never comes up. That problem has gone.
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Old 04-15-2015, 02:12 PM
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Everyone's experience is so different. I know that for me I cocooned (at least as much as I could) for the first 2 months. Worked and came home and crashed. I have a stressful job and had been running myself ragged, a huge contributor to my drinking. Do what feels right and supports your sobriety, especially as you're in the early days. Take care and congratulations on your sobriety!!
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