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day 1 again...

Old 04-15-2015, 09:04 AM
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day 1 again...

Well day one again pretty sick of the cycle but I've learned a few things along the way. I drink after work because I'm tired and I want to stay up and do things. After I'm exhausted then I have to pick up my 2 year old play with him for a few hours then put him to bed. Once he goes to bed I want to sleep to but I can't because there's always so much to do around the house. If I'm not drinking I'll do nothing and go to sleep . Nothing will get done and then my girlfriend will complain that I did nothing . So i drink and get everything done but then I keep drinking after its all done thinking I'm relaxing but I'm really not...then I wake up with the hangover go home After work and do nothing and go to sleep so really what am I accomplishing ? Another reason I drink is because my girlfriend works second shift so I'm lonely after my son goes to sleep so drinkings like friend but it's a really rotten friend . Then when I give up drinking for a few days I'm just so tired..I don't know what happened to my energy I mean I'm 23 and have no motivation or drive to do anything I'm stuck at a dead end job struggle to make ends meat that's another reason I drink . It's just hard to do anything with a 2 year old I'm just limited to certain things . I just don't know anymore .
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Old 04-15-2015, 09:09 AM
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you don't know?

Well.... here's what I know;

Life in sobriety has a way of totally and radically changing your perspective and bringing about a shift in your world that you could never possibly imagine.

You're incredibly young and have a fantastic opportunity that many of us didn't have at that age; to get sober with a LOT of life left ahead of you.

Oh, the difference it could have made if I didn't spend another 19 years of drinking before finally 'getting it'.

you're back to day 1 - but you're here.

And actually... EVERY day is day 1 with addiction. All you have to do is your very best for today, right now.

Don't drink, focus on supporting that decision, and on being the best you that you can be.....

I promise you will be amazed.

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Old 04-15-2015, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by foryoumyson View Post
I drink after work because I'm tired and I want to stay up and do things.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant...it actually makes you more tired than if you didn't drink it.

My guess is that you are an alcoholic and you drink after work because you want to get drunk, but you'll need to decide that for yourself.

Since your username is "formyson", perhaps you could take that to heart in relation to your drinking. Being a parent is a massive responsibility and it is hard work. I was drunk for a lot of my kids early life and it's one of the biggest regrets that I will most likely carry with me for the rest of my life. Fortunately I was able to realize how much damage alcohol was doing to not only me, but my family, and stop before they were gone, and I still have time to be with them.

Drinking makes things worse for an alcoholic, there is no debate on that subject.
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Old 04-15-2015, 09:21 AM
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Pardon my blunt critique of your OP, but:
Originally Posted by foryoumyson View Post
Well day one again pretty sick of the cycle but I've learned a few things along the way. I drink after work because [EXCUSE1] . After I'm exhausted then I have to pick up my 2 year old play with him for a few hours then put him to bed. Once he goes to bed I want to sleep to but I can't because there's always so much to do around the house. If I'm not drinking I'll [EXCUSE2]. Nothing will get done and then my girlfriend [EXCUSE3]. So i drink and [EXCUSE4] but then I keep drinking after its all done thinking I'm relaxing but I'm really not...then I wake up with the hangover go home After work and do nothing and go to sleep so really what am I accomplishing ? Another reason I drink is [EXCUSE5]. Then when I give up drinking for a few days [EXCUSE6] I mean I'm 23 and have no motivation or drive to do anything I'm stuck at a dead end job struggle to make ends meat that's another [EXCUSE7]. It's just hard to do anything with a 2 year old I'm just limited to certain things . I just don't know anymore .
Probably time to set a new example.

In the year 2030:
Gee, Dad, I really want to go to classes. I mean, I meant to go to classes, but all my friends are partying and I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Old 04-15-2015, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by foryoumyson View Post
...that's another reason I drink .
You have lots of reasons to drink, it seems. Easy to believe that's why you drink. But you've been on SR two years. Struggling to stay quit. If you want to learn something about your drinking, accept it's more serious than the reasons/excuses you've listed. Accept you aren't treating the problem effectively.

Start with the reasons you shouldn't drink and have those motivate you find a recovery method that help you leave the drinking behind.
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Old 04-15-2015, 09:29 AM
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Here's what I've learned. When I first quit drinking, I didn't have the energy or inclination to do anything around the house. I work all day, I pick up my six and nine year old kids, I make them dinner, I start with the chores. My husband is usually out of town or not home because he's an addict and out. So essentially I'm a single parent. It's rough. Two year olds are tough, too.

But, the longer I get into sobriety, the more energy I have. My sleep patterns have changed. It took me over three to six months for that to happen. It wasn't overnight. But I had to commit to not drinking no matter what.

You are young. I'm 50 with little kids. You're 23 with a two year old. If I can do it, you can do it. Do you have respite care? Find an evening AA meeting and get out of the house for yourself for a bit. Caring for young ones on your own can be a lonely thing. Come on here when you get home for a mental break. Post and read a bit. Let the chores go for a bit. Throw in a load of laundry, sweep or vacuum and be done with it. Save big stuff for the weekend if you can. Just don't drink. It saps energy like a sponge. Honestly. It's a false promise. Good luck on day one. Stick with it! It's worth it.
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Old 04-15-2015, 09:47 AM
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Well I figured it's either now or never I have 8 16oz beers left over from last night when I get home from work I'm going to dump them all . I don't know why I keep doing this to myself . Every time after I drink I come on here and skim threw everything and have good intentions but then 2 days or 3 pass and I do the same thing again week in and week out. I know I can do it the real test is going to be Friday and Saturday but I'm going to switch up my routine . Thank you all for your great comments
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Old 04-15-2015, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by foryoumyson View Post
Well I figured it's either now or never I have 8 16oz beers left over from last night when I get home from work I'm going to dump them all . I don't know why I keep doing this to myself . Every time after I drink I come on here and skim threw everything and have good intentions but then 2 days or 3 pass and I do the same thing again week in and week out. I know I can do it the real test is going to be Friday and Saturday but I'm going to switch up my routine . Thank you all for your great comments
Switching up your routine sounds like a good idea. Maybe you could consider spending some dedicated time here each day learning about some of the self-help recovery methods? Or join a daily/weekly thread? Or go to an AA meeting? Or see your doctor - perhaps you have some underlying depression or anxiety that could be dealt with?
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:09 AM
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Being stuck in that work, drink, sleep cycle is one I've only very recently got out of. Changing your routine is a great idea and has been mandatory to me.

A few things I've implemented for the evenings are to cook dinner from scratch. Nothing quick! It's really rewarding to sit down and eat something homemade. I also have some recovery related books to read and I write every day.

Maybe start writing a plan out for your recovery including alternative routines, plans for any cravings etc?
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:17 AM
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That's a good idea janelane. I do like to cook and cooking from scratch would be a fun way to stay busy plus healthier . Ya I think tonight I'm going to start a journal I have an old one haven't written in it for a long time .
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:36 AM
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when you're drunk you don't get any real sleep that's why you're so tired.

I used to sleep 12 hours when I was drunk and felt like I slept for 3.
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:50 AM
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Another thing when I don't drink for a few days I remember everything I just play everything I've done in my head good or bad even like something I did when I was 5 is that normal ?
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:51 AM
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You keep doing this to yourself because you're addicted to the alcohol. I did it to myself. For years. Early on in my drinking career I Quit or drastically cut back for a day or two or three and forgot the pain of how awful I felt and went back to drinking. At the end? I got drunk every night. Feeling like crap every morning, promising myself I wouldn't get drunk that night but by two o'clock when I felt marginally better I was always telling myself that it wasn't so bad.

There is a weekend support thread every week here, starting tomorrow morning, Thursday. Maybe join there. I use that thread for support and have done since I got sober 16 months ago. A lifesaver. Don't get discouraged. You can do it.
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:58 AM
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Originally Posted by foryoumyson View Post
Another thing when I don't drink for a few days I remember everything I just play everything I've done in my head good or bad even like something I did when I was 5 is that normal ?
Yes, it's called thinking and being alive;-) Alcohol is a Central Nervous System depressant, so when you are drunk your brain literally slows down. When you sober up the activity picks back up, and not always in a good way. Especially early on in sobriety, anxiety and other things can be very strong. And it's entirely possible that you have underlying psychological issues ( anxiety, depression, OCD, etc ) ....many of us do. I have recently been diagnosed with GAD which looking back is most likely something I had my entire life, I just didn't notice as much because I was drunk every day for about 20 years. Now that I'm sober i'm finding more healthy ways to deal with it...and while it takes work it is much, much better than how pronounced it was at the end of my drinking days.

Journaling it all can help you, and perhaps a counselor should you ever decide to see one.
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Old 04-15-2015, 10:58 AM
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Have you thought about a revision of your sobriety plan

What will you do diffrently ?
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Old 04-15-2015, 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by foryoumyson View Post
Another thing when I don't drink for a few days I remember everything I just play everything I've done in my head good or bad even like something I did when I was 5 is that normal ?
For me yes and I know there are lots of others on here who can relate!

Whatever has happened is done already though and it's going to take time to let it go. Don't let it eat you up, it's the first day of the journey! The journal can help with that too :-)
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Old 04-15-2015, 11:28 AM
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I can relate to much of what you said about exhaustion, Loneliness and drinking:these were some of my reasons for drinking too. I agree with ruby and others who have noted that the exhaustion of early sobriety passes and eventually is replaced with more verve and energy. How long that takes is individual, but in reading here it does seem to kick in for folks.
One thing that I have realized is I cannot run myself ragged--at least not if I want to stay sober. You have your hands full,it sounds like. Is there the possibility of getting some support and assistance with some of the childcare and housework? Could be especially useful in the early days of sobriety. Does your girlfriend support your efforts to become sober? If so, maybe she could temporarily take over some duties or you could hire help if that's a possibility? I know it can be hard to ask for this: my partner works ridiculously long hours and I hated to ask him to do more. But it helped me tremendously and has made me a better partner in other ways.

Sending support and peaceful thoughts
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