Being a binge drinking drunk lush; has helped I must admit. My problem has become my anxiety now. The pain is something I am sadly getting use to. I've had to push my body just to help my folks; but that feeling needed has helped. I wipe my tears in the morning & do what I gotta do.

It could be the alcoholic in me informing me that a couple beers will help w\ the panic attacks; & it does. But I know 2-3 beers leads to 2-3 day or more binge. Being in Baltihell; knowing the people I know I have access to almost any chemical under the sun; yet I chose not to go that route.

It's getting rather frustrating though knowing less than a 5minute walk I can buy heroin. But can't get an f'in doctor to see me or prescribe anything all b\c I have no insurance here. It has truly started to drive me insane ..

Just more rambling on my part I guess ..
Dennis

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Sober Recovery

I have been diagnosed with GAD in sobriety too. It's not easy but it's a hell of a lot better dealing with it sober than when I was drinking. Therapy can help and there are low cost/sliding scale services available in your area...you should check into it.

Thanx Scott; I have looked into it. I can't even afford the sliding scale fee. Or they want proof of residence; which again, I don't have. I have other feelers out, but haven't heard anything back yet.

Dennis - please look into getting insurance through the affordable care act:

https://www.marylandhealthconnection.gov
https://www.healthcare.gov

You may qualify for subsidies, making coverage essentially free. Under the ACA, mental health and addiction treatment must be provided at the same coverage level as physical impairments.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

alcohol causes anxiety and I got my first anxiety attack about 6 years ago from being so hungover in public. Never had any anxiety previously. Drinking all the time made it much worse that I barely left the house. Only been sober a few weeks but I'd say my anxiety is down about 80% or more.

Open enrollment is over .. Gonna read more; but ty I'm screwed ! Just got more bad news so I honestly might end up in the hospital. I am not in a good place right now. At all
Dennis

My anxiety has been up since I quit drinking. Matter of fact having a severe panic attack now ... So a bottle might be f'in perfect.
Dennis

A bottle would be perfect if you want to make your anxiety worse AW.

I just started reading a book right now called 10% better by Dan Harris. He is a reporter who had a panic attack on air and wrote a book about how he used meditation and some other techniques to help him with his anxiety. I know there are a lot of others out there too, and this seems pretty good so far. I checked it out from the library so it was free, you might want to see if you could pick up a couple to read yourself if you can't get in to see a counselor.

I take Valerian Root capsules from the vitamin section of any store. I use to get so worked up I thought I was going crazy. They calm nerves. There is also Calm Tabs which has a a bunch of calming herbs, too.

I can't afford penny candy lol but I've tried it actually nothing helps. There are only 2 ways out I think ..
Dennis

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Sober Recovery

Care to elaborate? You mentioned that you might need to go to the hospital earlier, maybe that would be a good idea now. Or call a hotline...you have a phone and the call is free.

No I don't have a phone. Well that's not true my phone only texts & I go into panic attacks using even the phone. I am going to the hospital tomorrow b\c I'm already 10grand in debt & my parents need help in the am. My brother is taken me at 11am; so I have time not full of junkies & sketchier folk that will make matters worse for me. How should I elaborate ?? Ask I'm all yours ..
Dennis

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Sober Recovery

You said you only see 2 ways out of this? What are the 2 ways?

Coming up with excuses as to why you cannot seek help is not one of them.

I'm not trying to blow sunshine up your skirt, AW, but this is just a moment. A bad one for sure, but a moment. Hang in there. You have access to the net so there are resources. Look at urge surfing and meditation. There are techniques you can try that don't cost anything that might help.

Debt sucks, I'll grant you that. But there are worse things than being broke or in debt! If you need to go to the ER to save you life then what is a debt compared to your life?

I understand that what you're dealing with is worse than what I normally have to deal with. But I think there are options.

1 way death. And unless in my shoes, don't pull your holier than though making excuses . When you faint\ pass out getting coffee, its bad . no one has a grasp how my anxiety has on me by TY for the reply .
Dennis

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Sober Recovery

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Really do go to the hospital if you're in a bad way. The financial stuff can be dealt with later; your life is precious. I don't know your situation but it doesn't have to always be this way.

Please do look into it. If you are subject to the penalty for not being covered in 2014 (which it sounds like you weren't), you may still be able to enroll up to April 30th.

I hope you can get yourself to the hospital today. Pushing off getting help only works for so long.

I am not holier than anyone. I have been diagnosed with GAD myself. I have panic atttacks, some so severe that I've had to literally cancel meetings, pull over when driving, avoid work, you name it. I've had them for years.

I also have bad things happen in my life. My grandmother died Monday evening and I will be driving 3 hours to her funeral tomorrow. I am in the middle of a massive restructuring at work in which 20% of our workforce will be laid off before the end of the fiscal year, and I am the sole income for a family of 5.

I won't go on - my point is that EVERYONE has difficulties in their life. Some folks right here on SR have physical and mental disabilities you could not imagine, and some of them not only find ways to help themselves but spend an inordinate amount of time helping others here every single day.

The bottom line is, you've been coming here for a long time now AW. And many times it's the same old story - you have a problem, but you have every reason in the world why you "can't" fix it. You have made very good progress on your drinking - you should commend yourself for that. But you have literally done just about nothing to deal with your anxiety and other issues other than tell us all the reasons you cannot get help.

It's up to you to take the necessary steps to seek help - we can give you ideas on how to do it, but you have to do it.

Hey AW, get a grip chap and read, really read what the people here are saying. No one has attacked you yet. In your mind you perceive this because you skim the post. Go back a read, really read. These people are only trying to help you. They are giving of their own free time, and to my mind at the moment, they could be spending it with someone else more needy.