lovespell

I'm going downhill fast. I have a problem with binge drinking and blacking out and it caused me to lose my relationship that I hated in the first place!. I was in an abusive situation with him and I know he wasn't good for me. I was acting out by going out and being self destructive with my drinking. It has been almost a month and I find myself lonely. As bad as he was to me he was the only stability I had. He was anchor for me and he made me somewhat accountable even if he was controlling me. I am lost. On the nights I don't have kids I've been at the bar or casino. I don't have money for these habits and I was really doing well not bingeing the last few months. With him gone I realized I have no idea who I am. I only know how to drink. That's what I've always done to
Unwind and I rarely drink at home. I love to go out and socialize but now i don't want yo come home when I'm tired. I've tried reading and gardening snd exercising. I'm too afraid to go to aa but I'm in a crisis and I'm too afraid I can't control my behavior . I know running away and avoiding myself won't help. I really need some thoughts on coping with the breakup of a nine year relationship without going off the deep end and going on an every night binge. Reading here helps but I just never take action. I go for weeks without Drinking and think I'm done for good. How do you begin to nurture yourself? What does that even mean?

BernieE

Think of what you would do for someone you love who was recovering from an illness or a great emotional upset. Gentle care like hot baths, comfy clothing, a soft nest on the couch or bed, some good, nourishing food (and ice cream), something entertaining on TV... It's so easy to be hard on ourselves. There's no need for that. You deserve better.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you Lovespell here is help with a plan http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

lovespell

Thank you. I'm going to huddle up here and do some reflecting and try to take care of myself. I have children who need me and I need to be well. I will check out the links and do some reading. This is a place I visit often although I rarely post. Maybe I will start interacting more.

Bmac

Only one way to find out. You gotta try it. The first and best way to nurture yourself is to quit drinking. Start there. We are all here for 24/7.