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Just learnt about Kindling - I have made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Old 04-14-2015, 01:26 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Youl be surprised how well the body heals in sobriety

Book a GP to ease your fears

Is this a day 1 Member ?
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:27 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Dude,

I don't mean to be harsh, but what you describe almost certainly means that you are a full-blown alcoholic. I wouldn't take any comfort from the fact that you are not drinking irish Rose 24/7 under the freeway. Plenty of time left for that. It really sounds like a classic case of denial. I know the voice is your head is deathly afraid of getting cut off from booze. That's exactly what you need to do to it. Now is the time for action.
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:28 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Member View Post
Thankyou. If I thought I already had brain damage, I might aswell just continue to drink myself to death. I will try not to drink again until I am back in the UK and have access to meetings/treatment. IF I do fail and fall into another binge before I leave here, what would be the recommended course of action? Cold turkey or a taper off?
do everything humanly possible not to pick up the first drink

one single hour at a time.
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:32 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Member View Post
I will try not to drink again until I am back in the UK and have access to meetings/treatment. IF I do fail and fall into another binge before I leave here, what would be the recommended course of action? Cold turkey or a taper off?
I would recommend doing whatever you possibly can to avoid drinking. Spend time here on SR if you need a distraction. Find some AA meetings - they are held literally around the globe. Read the big book, it's free and available online. Read up about AVRT or some of the many other self-paced recovery methods out there.

Quite literally, if your withdrawals are getting as bad as you mention, you may not have a choice "next" time and end up in the hospital against your own will. It does get that bad...and I think you are dangerously underestimating the severity of your problem.
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:47 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I do not speak the language of the country I am currently in, but I will try your other suggestions.
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Old 04-14-2015, 01:48 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hi Member

As Scott said none of us here can give you any guarantees, but the likelihood is you're ok.

I detoxed that way many many times without apparent ill effect - but the last time I suffered a series of mini strokes.

I came back from that. I hope that gives you at least a little reassurance that there is life after recovery

I was nearly 40 when I quit. Over 20 years I'd progressed from a heavy binger like you to all day everyday drinking.

At 27 I reckon you have every chance in the world of turning this around and not looking back.

See your Dr as soon as you can to set your mind at ease - and welcome

D
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:01 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Thankyou

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post

I was nearly 40 when I quit. Over 20 years I'd progressed from a heavy binger like you to all day everyday drinking.
I think it is possible I am at, or very close to, this exact point of transition. As I said, I have never ever had such a strong desire to drink my way out of a withdrawal as I did last night as as I do again now. I am feeling an increase in my withdrawal symptoms right now, heart-rate is now steady and shakes are minimal but I feel incredible anxiety all of a sudden, I think the realizations I have made reading this thread have brought this on.
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:01 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Member View Post
I am not asking for a diagnosis, though I do appreciate your response, but whether based on anyone's experiences, the duration of my binge-abstinence drinking pattern is so significant that I could already be too late.
I think it is way too late to consider what you are doing as being normal drinking patterns. Quitting drinking is the solution
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:08 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Hi member

We are the same age and I'm on day four of sobriety and already feeling different, in a good way.

Your doctor will be able to help a lot to put your mind at ease but remember that anxiety is a really common thing to happen in early recovery and it does get better.

It sounds to me like you're at a point where you need to think about making some huge changes. I went from having underage drinks with friends to binging to drinking daily. The physical stuff need to be dealt with of course and as I said, your doctor can help you out with that. They are also likely to be able to put you in touch with a therapist or an addiction centre that can help as well.

I go to an addiction centre for classes as well as go to AA - just find what works for you.

You're here, you're clearly worried and you want help. This can be a new start for you. Don't freak yourself out. Just take it hour by hour.
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:10 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Worrying about your health or the damage you've done is pretty standard.
That kind of anxiety usually gets better the longer you're sober

D
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:24 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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I will try to post here early tomorrow. I must admit that I am very frightened.
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:48 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Hi Member, I think most will agree with me that excessive alcohol consumption increases anxiety. Then you stumbled on kindling, researched it, anxiety went into another gear. That is the sense I get from your posts. Anyway, I would attempt to sleep, eat etc...you've done it before, you know how it goes. I wish you the best.
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:52 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Hi Everyone. I found this thread very interesting to read. And I just wanted to voice my fears.
I have blacked out many many times when i've drank. The blackouts have not lasted days..more so like a few hours. There are times when I think about those blackouts, I fear that i've done some permanent damage to my brain. At the moment i'm fine, but I worry I'll get dementia or something in the next few years or in my older age, because i drank to blackout in my early years.

Scary thought. And enough to make me not want to drink at this very moment.
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Old 04-14-2015, 04:07 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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okay, I must confess. I rounded up when I said I got drunk 10,000 times. It was more in the neighborhood of 9500. But as I was going over it, something new came up. I remember being held for public drink when I was 16. My parents were out of town and my cousin had to drive from another town to come and get me out.
The more I recall about my life the sadder it gets.
The good news is that I have another 40 (?) left to enjoy. I may live to be 100!
I spoke to an uncle today who just celebrated 92 years. He still drives and is sharp as a tack. My mom only made it to 91.

The bottom line is Member, if you stop drinking now and stay stopped it will definitely get better.
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Old 04-14-2015, 04:16 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Alcoholism is alcoholism no matter how many times you drink!
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Old 04-14-2015, 08:59 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Member, if you wish to quit drinking I'd recommend posting here often for support. Not just try to post. I always tell myself that I had all the time in the world and all the drive to plan my drinking and to get drunk. I put as much time to getting and staying sober in the beginning as that.

Chances are that you do not have brain damage. Anxiety happens with withdrawl. Don't feed it by reading more information online. Worst case scenarios won't do any good at the moment. Schedule an appointment with your GP when you return home. Don't shy out on going either. I always scared the heck out of myself about the withdrawal and then wouldn't you know? When I felt better I'd think "hey! That wasn't so bad!" and start the cycle over again.

Stick close and see you around.
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Old 04-14-2015, 09:03 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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LBrain...was the 10000 days accurate? That's over 27 years...
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Old 04-14-2015, 09:11 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I did the same thing you did on and off for almost 4 years...sober for anywhere from a week to a month...Then I would go on a binge for a week or and then go cold turkey. Rinse Repeat...I started having frightening hallucinations at one point and could not sleep. I too worried about brain damage; wet brain specifically. Severe Anxiety is what it was...

I am happy to say I have healed very well over the past three years...but it has taken getting and staying sober.
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Old 04-15-2015, 05:00 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Member - I think everybody has told you the obvious - stop drinking. I won't rehash that. What I will share is the amazing beauty of the human body, and the paradoxical fragility.

Know this: our bodies are incredible self healing machines. When treated right, with the attention and care required, there is very little the body can't recover from. Although an extreme example, just look at how we heal from broken bones, or how fatty livers come back to full normalcy. No matter what you are afraid of, if you stop, your body will ONLY GET BETTER, never worse.

Paradoxical Fragility: unfortunately the reverse is also true, and regrettably the body can't heal forever. At your age, if you stop now, you will likely recover phenomenally well - you are still young. But let's say being my age, over 40, my body can't take a beating the same way anymore. My ability to recover starts to fall exponentially. While my body can heal, the longer I pound it, the more I may cross the line of no return. At some point, the body gives up...its healing power fails. There is no godly or earthly reason we should put ourselves at risk for one more second or minute.

The only certainty is if you stop now, you stop the continued risk of permanent damage. Continue to drink, and you are playing Russian roulette. Not a question of "if", just "when" will your body give up the fight. For me, I stopped playing with fire 3+ years ago, and I've been phenomenally better ever since.
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Old 04-15-2015, 05:54 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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My wife and I both drank daily. Myself round-the-clock and her after work. I tapered to quit as drinking was just making me ill and my wife had a very rough go as she couldn't taper and CT'ed it. Fear helped me a lot tapering as I read up a lot on kindling and wanted no more brain damage than necessary--t'was why I quit that way. Had almost no WD's to speak of. Wife on the other hand had high BP for a week--not good. We've both had blood work and are fine but haven't always felt the best. Best wishes on getting to this side. 10+ months for me and I feel great.
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