Tooshabby

Great post!

I thought I would find a smilie for you from our list. Apparently, this one should be 'relaxing', which I thought might be nice for you and sounds very well deserved........




Congratulations on day 3!

FrankLapidas

Thank you to recent posters Wolf, Cissy, Shoot, Benice, Gina, Kale, Thomas, Hevyn, Shabby, Sansa, Venecia, dwtbd, Jaynie, Saoutchik, Boozer, Ditzy and Dee. (Ditzy & Dee sounds like a Las Vegas lounge act).

Your support and advice is greatly appreciated and in the future I'll try to respond individually. If you are thoughtful enough to offer support and/or advice, I should acknowledge that. And if you've taken the time to ask a question, I should take the time to answer it.

Tooshabby

As long as it doesn't get to taxing for you time-wise and just ends up stressing you out. Better to have too much support than you can cope with :-) No-one will be offended (openly...heh heh).
Anyway, it's our pleasure to help which is it's own reward :-)

FrankLapidas

Thanks, Shabby. Gonna head over to your thread. It will be good exercise for me, and I need to get out and around more.

FrankLapidas

Following up on my recent threat to actually answer some questions (and you have so many!)

Regarding Chrome OS not supporting Java chat, I dragged out my old Windows computer which I should be able to use to get into chat should I need some emergency support, which I'm sure I will someday.

Regarding "fall into my old patterns", I didn't, at least not exactly. Here's a quote from a post I made on May 3rd . . .

"Here's my serial binge drinking pattern for the last couple of years . . .

On the first day, a fifth+ of rum

On the second day I'd get up early, having crashed on the first day, and have more rum. Just a bit, I always told myself, enough to take the edge off and get squared away. Of course that "just a bit" turned into all day drinking, usually about a fifth and a half.

The third day, pretty much the same as the second day. Another fifth and a half.

The fourth day is where it gets interesting. After about another fifth my body just refused to take on more rum. Really couldn't even swallow it. So I'd decide, okay, I can't do this anymore. But . . . since I'm going to quit, why not go out in a burst of glory? So I would drink about two more fifths, one vodka and one Kahlua. White Russians. Pretty impressive, huh?

On the fifth day I'd be pretty much dead, but found some peace that I would quit drinking.

But . . . on the sixth day, rinse and repeat. Start the whole binge cycle over. "

So , Cissy, my old pattern was drinking four out of five days. My pattern after leaving SR on May 4th was drinking "only" one day out of five. Technically an improvement I guess. But not a solution. And not how I want to live. And oddly, one day of drinking beat my body up just about as badly as four.

Tooshabby

More than a technical improvement - quite a massive one

I was never any good at Maths, but I think that means you've made about a 60% improvement?!

Soberwolf

Having wifi issues this morning but heres some links Frank

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-69-a.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Cissy

Frank, so great to see you're really engaging with us now. Makes me so happy to see you "coming out." And I agree that drinking 1 day out of 5 (reverse of what you had been doing) has got to be seen as an improvement. Maybe make it 1 day out of 10 next and then 1 day out of 15 and keep making those stretches wider and wider.

I know many will say that's a sucky plan but I think it rocks. Stepping stones. If you can't sustain straight sobriety, at least make progress.

Cissy

PS: Venecia, I love the way you write. Loved that post at the bottom of page 19.

FrankLapidas

Thanks, Wolf!

Soberwolf

Anytime Friend

FrankLapidas

Cissy, I think you might gets some votes for "sucky" here.

Tapering off . . . I've tried it, I've researched it (I've researched everything) and I don't see it as a solution. Binge drinking, for me, is still binge drinking regardless if it's for one day or four. And since May when I "cut back" to one day out of five I still get knocked for a loop after that one day. I'm not fully functional for another four or five days. The cumulative effect of abusing my body, I guess.

But thank you!

FrankLapidas

Trying to get caught up replying to posts . . .

As I mentioned above I've done inpatient twice. The first was several years ago, a 28 day program. With the wisdom of hindsight I think I checked myself in more because of depression than booze. That depression (which I did not know much about at the time) was fueled by copious quantities of coke. If you want the express elevator down to the depths of depression just snort coke for a few days straight, don't sleep, and drink lotsa booze. That inpatient experience was generally positive. In fact, I enjoyed it, didn't want to leave. Also it didn't work, at least not for long. I did, however, quit coke a few months later. I don't think it was because of the rehab, and I didn't make some "vow" to quit snorting, I just got tired of the depression aftereffect.

My second inpatient was early this year. I bailed after about a week, just long enough to detox with the aid of their meds. And went directly to the liquor store. It was just a bad setting for me. I had little in common with the other patients since most of them were there on some sort of 90 day "sentence", I assume mandated by the legal system. Not really sure. They also were pushing the hell out of AA, which is not for me. (I've tried that, too).

If I could find an impatient program as positive as my first experience, I'd probably try it again. But I now have the logistical impediment of being the only caretaker for my mother. She can't be left along, so I can't leave. And no, I'm not gonna pawn her off on a haired caregiver for a month.

So for now, I'll just keep trying here on SR.

thomas11

Frank, no need to respond to myself. Just very rewarding to see and hear you engaged with the SR family. Jeff

Tooshabby

AA didn't suit me either. That's so lovely you are looking after your mother. I know someone who has just moved to another city 'for a better life'. Her mother has dementia and her rationale is she won't notice. Didn't really sit with me that. Sounds like you're doing great :-)

Cissy

What I love about you "Frank" is that when you open up, you are so available and so honest, but when you shut down, you're like Fort Knox. (Don't love that part.)

Do you want to tell us what taking care of your mom entails? What's her physical/mental/emotional status?

FrankLapidas

Well, Shabby, she took care of me when I was Little Frank, seems only fair. It limits my options and contributes to my isolation, but that's okay. She's worth it.

Cissy . . . "Fort Knox" or "available and honest" . . . I do everything to excess, always have. Which I know is not good. My mother broke her hip, which is not good for a woman of that age. She's also 99% blind (glaucoma) and about 98% deaf. The good news is that she's still mentally sharp, in contrast to most of the women on her side of the family tree who go nutty as a fruitcake when they get older.

FrankLapidas

In case some of you missed that . . .

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddictions.html

Cissy

You are so cute! How in the hell did that only get one response before it faded off into the great abyss? Glad you linked it cause I just love clever people. And best of luck this go round not getting hooked on the moo-juice. There are worse things.

Cissy

Regarding your mom and those in her position, I'm not sure it's actually good to still have your wits about you when you can't hear or see. Is she a sweetie or one who feels sorry for herself? I'm sorry to have to say it but I fear I will end up being the latter.