Nowsthetime

Hello all:

I was reading another thread and I read something JaneLane wrote along the lines of associating calmness with boredom.

Many times I read that people are "bored" in early sobriety... Can this be that some confuse that feeling of calmness with being bored. Do we have to give ourselves time to get used to it being calm?

When I was younger I used to hear "if you are bored it is because you are boring". I don't know if that is why I never use that to describe how I feel but I read it here often so I wanted to post about it. Let newcomers know that sometimes it isn't boredome, it's calmness.

Don't let the AV trick you into confusing the two!

ZaBoozer

I think you have a valid point. When one is calm, one is at peace with oneself. Easy for the AV to misconstrue that as boredom.

SDH73

Ha ha! Yeah, I'd heard that one, too, in slightly different wording "only boring people get bored."

I may describe my day or week or any period of time as "boring", but by that I mean that nothing really noteworthy took place. I, personally, don't get bored.

OT: Sometimes when someone is talking to me I like to fake a yawn and say "you bore me" in a fake british accent. I can be a jerk! lol!

Soberwolf

Thank you Nows

JaneLane

I think it takes time, for me at least. Going from being entirely preoccupied with the drink (or whatever substance) to having space is a bit of an adjustment, like when I realised how much free time I have when I'm sober.

doggonecarl

In my opinion, no. I think what people call "boredom" is the restlessness and low-level anxiety associated with withdrawal and early recovery.

Or it's the only word they can use to describe that vague sense of discontent that only a drink will relieve.

But calmness? No. We know calm when we are experiencing it...no matter how long it's been.

kinzoku

I agree, but I'd like to add something. For me drinking took up such a huge part of my life, such huge chunks of time, that I think boredom is a reality without drinking. There are now large chunks of time that are free. If I do nothing with them, I will be bored. So I must fill them. This requires effort and is not easy.

~Lia~

The drama that comes with drinking seems exciting. The happy times are so happy. The fights are life shattering. And the tears, more tears, drama. The depression and self pity. Then the shame and sorrow. Then repeat.

So much drama, it's crazy. Learning to live life with peace and calm. It's different but once you embrace it, wow. To just be free. To be happy.

Less drama can feel boring. It's all how you look at it I suppose

SoberRunner

Personally, I don't think so. I'm a newcomer who's mentioned being bored and I know the difference between "calmness" and "boredom". That being said, I'm an adrenaline junkie so take my post with a grain of salt.

If I'm not doing something fast-paced or playing a highly competitive sport (read: I do not like/enjoy "playing for fun"), I'm usually bored. And, maybe "bored" is the wrong word? Perhaps I should call it "not very exciting"? I'm a pretty active person but even if I'm on a casual run, I find myself thinking, "Eh, this is kind of boring!" Lol. That said, it's a bit subjective because a few things others may consider boring--like science lectures--is pretty interesting to me.

Para

I'm glad for this post, and the other thread that talked about it. It shed some light for me. The excitement, drama, craziness of drinking kept my mind busy. Pre-occupied..even if it was with negative stuff.
Now i feel a bit in the doldrums. Not in a terrible bored way...but i'm getting used to having my headspace free of feeling guilty or master planning my next drink or what lie i'm going to tell.
Now what do we do with this?
Filling the mind with positive stuff. Meditation. Reading. Chatting with a friend. Yoga. Exercise. Etc.

thomas11

I welcome calmness in my life. Not to be confused with boredom.

SoberCAH

Glad you are here, Soberrunner.

I am a sober runner, too.

Which is good, because I used to be a drunk runner.

When I drank, I needed to sacrifice a virgin (just kidding, of course), engage in some risky behavior or burn a village just to have a little of what I perceived as fun.

Now, exercise and reading are just fine by me, although my wife sees to it that we have a pretty active social agenda.

newpage119

I think there IS a period of "boredom" or "flat-lining" in early sobriety. It has to do with the brain healing. Nothing is exciting, life is kinda blah.
Not everyone gets it, but it is quite common. It passes.....

The good calm comes later........

MelindaFlowers

I always envied everyone else's "boring time." They always looked perfectly content sitting on the couch, browsing in a store, baking cookies, quietly cleaning the house, calmly reading a book, walking their dog, SOBER!

You can tell when someone is comfortable in their own skin. It's the vast majority of people. Alcoholics are never content to just "be." I always felt on the edge of insanity while doing or trying to do the activities listed above because I was either (a) hungover, (b) planning my drinking that night (what time to start, what store to rotate to this day, how much to buy) or (c) trying to get intoxicated and knowing the damage I was doing. I could never just "be."

It took awhile but now I'm relearning to just breathe and live life like a regular person.

I find it I find it very ironic that we drank heavily to always try to relax and feel good but in reality we were doing the opposite. When I was drinking every night I felt absolutely dreadful every minute of every day.

I remember waking up at a friend's house a few years back massively hungover. She didn't even drink the night before. We had watched a movie. She went to bed around midnight and I stayed up until 3 am drinking alone on her porch. I remember specifically looking at her as she sat on the couch the next morning quietly tapping and swiping on her iPad and thinking "oh my god. She's not hungover. Not even a little bit. Here she is on this Saturday morning and she is not hungover. I wonder what that's like?" I still think back to that moment on hangover-free Saturday mornings with my iPad.

skeletoncrue

Someone on here has one of my all-time favorite quotes in their signature. I'm using the iPhone app right now and it doesn't show the sigs so I can't figure out who it is, but the quote, which I LOVE and remind myself of every day is:

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM,
I NOW CALL SERENITY.