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Hard to Admit

Old 04-13-2015, 09:58 AM
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Hard to Admit

Hi,

I'm having a hard time admitting that I'm alcoholic. I guess because I know that means I have to stop drinking.

I regularly drink more than I should. I work from home and will start drinking before the work day is over. While my wife will go out to bars with me, I regularly hide drinking from her. We have fought over my drinking several times. I know that I need to be more reponsible about my drinking.

Looking for either the strength or the wisdom to know what to do. Can I drink like a 'normal' person? Do I quit forever?

I know if I don't change something I will ruin my marriage.

Thanks for any input.
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Old 04-13-2015, 10:05 AM
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Welcome WantBetterDays. I could have written the same story - I drank more than I wanted to, hid it from my wife and family, caused arguments, etc.

I tried in vain to "moderate" my drinking and drink like a "normal" person for quite some time. I tried drinking only a certain number of beers, only drinking after a certain time, only drinking on certain days, only drinking light beer, mixing NA beer with regular beer, drinking only in groups, drinking only alone.....you get the point, right? EVERY single time I always ended up returning to every day binge drinking.

So for me, acceptance of my addiction and not drinking at all was the only possible way out. SR has been instrumental in helping me learn to live sober, I hope it can be of help to you too no matter what choice you make.
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Old 04-13-2015, 10:44 AM
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Hello and welcome:

In your heart, you KNOW. You need to answer all those questions so my suggestion would be to start reading here. I had so many misconceptions about what an alcoholic is when I started my journey, so educating myself really opened up my eyes and helped me make the decisions I needed to make. One of the things that helped me the most was reading other peoples experiences here. It helped me relate, learn and be inspired. Ultimately I made the decision I need to quit drinking. I wanted to make my life what I wanted it to be. I did not want to be that person anymore.

I'm so glad that you found us.

You are not alone!!!
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by WantBetterDays View Post
I'm having a hard time admitting that I'm alcoholic. I guess because I know that means I have to stop drinking.
There are literally billions of people who don't drink. Have you given any thought as to why being one of them frightens you? Does it frighten you more than the thought of losing your marriage?
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:29 AM
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Welcome wantbetterdays
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:31 AM
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You don't have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking.
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:33 AM
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you have a hard time admitting it, but you don't deny it.

that's a start
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by WantBetterDays View Post
Hi,

I'm having a hard time admitting that I'm alcoholic. I guess because I know that means I have to stop drinking.
Nail + head = hit.

We have all been there. Welcome.
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:41 AM
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Imagine your worst day. If you keep drinking, those days will happen more often, with less warning. Until one day, you look in the mirror and don't even recognize yourself anymore.
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Old 04-13-2015, 12:30 PM
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Welcome to the Forum WantBetterDays!!
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Old 04-13-2015, 04:05 PM
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Welcome to SR

I had a hard time admitting and accepting it too - but this place really helped.
Glad to have you with us

D
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Old 04-13-2015, 05:16 PM
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The feedback has been great. I've read a lot today and I think (hope) it is giving me a new perspective. Having a difficult evening so far as I'm alone with my wife working out of town and temptation is strong. So far so good. Thanks for all who replied and to all of those who have shared their stories in other posts. It is quite helpful.
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Old 04-13-2015, 05:21 PM
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Get through today. Don't worry about tomorrow. You will see it gets easier with time
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Old 04-13-2015, 05:26 PM
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Ok. Not gonna lie. Netflix has really helped me in my sobriety. I used to obsess about alcohol, now I look forward to the shows. Those shows you can binge watch. Orange is the new black, mad men and house of cards.

The first few days/weeks were usually spent crying in bed, mourning the loss of my best friend and obsession. But once you get through that haze, give yourself a reward at the end of each day. Did I mention how fabulous mornings become?

Hang in there
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Old 04-13-2015, 05:39 PM
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Ignore the alcoholic label if it helps. There can be a lot of baggage that comes with it that makes quitting drinking even more unattractive. Instead why not focus on living a healthy lifestyle that is free of alcohol?

You're still going to need a sobriety plan. L

I too wfh and Ive tried moderation a few times after periods of sobriety and it doesnt work at all for me. Theres just too much freedom and the drinking alone trigger in my office is a strong one I suck at avoiding.
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Old 04-13-2015, 05:53 PM
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You don't need to label yourself an alcoholic. I don't like the label either. But, I can't and don't drink because alcohol tried its best to destroy me and my life. Trying to moderate my drinking was so stressful and annoying and things ended up getting worse. Stopping drinking was a relief. There is life after alcohol.
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Old 04-13-2015, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by EJP View Post
Ignore the alcoholic label if it helps. There can be a lot of baggage that comes with it that makes quitting drinking even more unattractive. Instead why not focus on living a healthy lifestyle that is free of alcohol?

You're still going to need a sobriety plan. L

I too wfh and Ive tried moderation a few times after periods of sobriety and it doesnt work at all for me. Theres just too much freedom and the drinking alone trigger in my office is a strong one I suck at avoiding.
Thank you. I am working on a plan. I can see how important it is. What is wfh?
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Old 04-13-2015, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by WantBetterDays View Post
Thank you. I am working on a plan. I can see how important it is. What is wfh?
Working From Home
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