ArtFriend

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. It's raining hard and it is Monday and I am very down today. Struggling with the life of a sober person. I have made a lot of changes which ultimately are going to end in a healthier lifestyle, but it is the interim that has me bummed. It takes time to build a new shiny life and the absence of my old crappy life is still creating a void at this point. Does this make sense? I almost miss the drama and that is scary.

TennantSmith

It makes perfect sense. When actively drinking, you're in a constant cycle of drink, repair damage, make promises, white knuckle, drink, repeat. Early sobriety is quite calm. Embrace it. this is where you get to find that space to begin working on you.

You'll find your sober niche. It took me a while, but I protect my non drama space like crazy.

JaneLane

Hello Art

I can relate in that I have a pattern of sabotaging my recovery, happiness and peace of mind. I don't know if that rings true for you but the best advice I've received today after relapsing recently is to keep it simple.

I just got sick of feeling unwell and feeling like I was wasting my life. The high maintenance people and drama isn't so appealing anymore :-)

Para

I know the feeling. I'm a bit bummed out today too. Very early sobriety (4th day) for me. It's like I just want something to magically happen, like my shiny brand new life to start. But it's going to take time.
When drinking, something's always happening, usually something bad. But it keeps our mind busy...not in a good in way though.
I'm going to try and do what TennantSmith said - enjoy the quiet calm of sobriety.

ArtFriend

Calmness is an acquired taste for me. It's as if it is an art and a way of being that is so very foreign to me... not just from my drinking days, but going way back. I will endeavor to persevere!

JaneLane

I practice yoga and it wasn't until i got on my mat mid panic attack last week that I actually felt grateful for calmness. I've always associated it with boredom, so I got it completely wrong!

We shall persevere :-)

ArtFriend

I also associated calmness with boredom LadyJane. (love that song BTW)

MIRecovery

It makes total sense. If I'm not that person anymore then who the heck am I and what am I supposed to be doing?

This sobriety stuff is hard. I know how to live in a world fueled with alcohol chaos and drama but a sober world is uncharted territory.

In one of my less than successful rehabs the counselor said, "We will always gravitate to what we know even if it is negative. "

This statement has always stuck with me. Change is not easy or pleasant but change does happen.

All I can say is I'm trudging the road to happy destiny one day at a time.

Anna

AF, it does make sense. I was totally addicted to the drama and the adrenaline rush. I always drank alone and hid my drinking, so it became an 'exciting' game, I'm sad to say. The addiction to the drama was secondary to the addiction to alcohol.

But, l was lucky that when I stopped drinking, I was completely ready to let go of the drama and live in peace.

Give yourself a chance to get used to the new calm and see what you think.

trachemys

C'mere. i'm going to wrap you in my arms and you're going to snuggle in there and be happy. C'mon. Snuggle in. Get happy.

JaneLane

MI,
I love that advice and it explains why we keep repeating bad habits over and over!

ArtFriend

I will feel so "shell-tered" then!

JaneLane

Hahaha that made me laugh

Para

I think I had an addiction to the drama too. The hiding my drinking, drinking alone, sneaking off to get booze...it had become an exciting game.
I used so much brain power to figure out where i'd hide the alcohol or how I'd lie to go get it....now it's like...what do I think about? Lol.

Carlotta

Your headline scared me, I thought you were developing an ED now that you quit drinking.
I heard a newcomer share at meeting that he was realized he was addicted to the chaos more than he was addicted to alcohol.
Enjoying a peaceful life takes practice

Soberwolf

Totally agree with Anna AF

ArtFriend

Sorry...that reference did not even occur to me!

trachemys

HEY! It's not like I live a shelltered life...

saoutchik

Not sure how long you been sober ArtFriend but I find that too much 'calmness' or thinking time leads me eventually to getting cravings. Sometime even doing some mindless physical chore can take your mind off the negatives. No drama but it does the trick.

As for rainy days well, it could be worse, you could live where I live

SoberCAH

It probably took a while for me to become this way, but I don't miss the drama and chronic crises which seemed to follow me around when I drank.

As for me, going for a long run or simply reading a book are good enough for me.