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Old 04-11-2015, 06:29 PM
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Newbie starting out today

Hi there,

I am here because I am an "all or nothing" type personality. I cannot just have 1 drink, I have to have 7. Or at least 3. I drink every night because I am bored and it has become a habit. My partner goes away a lot for work, and I find those nights are particularly hard.

I do not have much of a social life as I am looking after 2 young tots, so I end up watching tv after a bottle of wine or more, and stumbling into bed.

I always regret it in the morning and decide that the next day is the day I will stop altogether. I have had 20 years of drinking and want to kick the habit once and for all.

I know the times I crave it the most. Its usually between 5 and 8pm. I go to the gym everyday in the mornings as there is a creche for my children, so I cannot go during the "crave times."

I try and have days here and there where I do not drink at all, but it takes every ounce of my strength to achieve this, and I go for weeks at a time drinking everyday.

HELP! Tried so many times to stop, but I keep getting drawn back in.
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Old 04-11-2015, 06:34 PM
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Welcome to SR florentine - we're so glad to have you with us.

I could never have one either. I wish I hadn't wasted so many years insisting I could use willpower to control myself. It's good you're taking a hard look at what it's doing to your life. I think it will really help you to be here - so many good suggestions and encouragement. You can do it.
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Old 04-11-2015, 06:39 PM
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Thanks Hevyn. I have always thought about joining a chat room, but have not had the will power to do so until now.

The exercising really helps, but I want to benefit even more by not adding extra unwanted calories to my diet, and not damaging my organs further.
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Old 04-11-2015, 06:50 PM
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glad you found SR!
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Old 04-11-2015, 07:37 PM
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Welcome to SR florentine! There are a lot of good resources and support to be found here. Congratulations on your decision to quit, you will not regret it.
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Old 04-11-2015, 07:45 PM
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You had asked about how long it takes for the urge to drink to pass in early sobriety (while in the chat room) and then left....

It depends on many things, I think. Are you working a method of recovery? What are you doing to stay stopped? Urge Surfing is one thing to look up.....

I think everyone is different when it comes to how long these urges last, but in the first week, they are pretty strong, then they seem to fade with time not drinking!
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Old 04-11-2015, 07:49 PM
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Hi florentine and welcome to the forum. The camaraderie here is invaluable! You have an amazing opportunity right now do make an excellent decision for yourself as well as your kids. You deserve a life without this conflict. Do not be fooled. Alcohol does not give, it just takes away mightily.

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Old 04-11-2015, 07:51 PM
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Welcome. As mentioned before, this is a great place to be for support and information.

I agree with Sugarbear, you really need a solid plan for the first week. You have to try and change your normal routine as much as possible to avoid falling into the same old routine which included wine every night. What can you do during the 5-8 hour? How will you handle any cravings that may pop up? What support system do you have? Are there support groups you can attend?

It's all about change! The first change that has to happen is not drinking. The rest will come in time.

Glad you are here!
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Old 04-12-2015, 04:26 AM
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Hi and welcome.
This getting sober is some serious trip. It lasts a lifetime and if you’re an alcoholic it’s a top priority, bar none.

I and others needed to strongly want sobriety, and stop the wishy washy attempts many do.

Next we have to be honest with OUR SELF about our drinking AND

Accept the fact we can no longer drink one day at a time in a row.

Next comes recovery which includes the work above in addition to the changes we must make to remain sober.

The bottom line is we do simple things to overcome a complex addiction, it may not always be easy but is quite doable by many millions.

BE WELL
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Old 04-12-2015, 05:01 AM
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Welcome Florentine. IOAA2 has great advice. You will find a lot of support here. Best wishes!
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Old 04-12-2015, 05:30 AM
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20 years of drinking is a good amount of time. You had a good run. Now give the next 20 years to your family!
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Old 04-12-2015, 07:05 AM
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Hi Florentine,
Well done for signing up - it's a big step in the right direction. I only signed up yesterday and something I have already learned is that having the support and advice of others is vital. I, like you, spend quite a bit of time on my own, there is nothing and no one to stop me drinking except me - until now. I have recently been chatting with a guy online whose life story I read not so long ago - I wrote to him and even getting a reply back was an enormous boost. His example and advice pointed me in this direction, i.e. getting help from others. Equally, keeping sobriety at the forefront of your mind is very important, to the exclusion of most other activities. Obviously there are things you must do, but try and keep being sober and thinking about being sober right up there at the top of the list.
Best of luck and keep coming back!
C
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Old 04-12-2015, 07:12 AM
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Hi Florentine, Welcome!

The 5pm to 8pm was so hard for me, too. It was definitely the most difficult part of the day. I was able to get out of the house right after supper and go for long walks. The walks had such a positive impact on my life. Are you able to get out of the house with your children in the early evenings?
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:52 AM
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Welcome Florentine http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Old 04-12-2015, 11:11 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Florentine!!
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Old 04-12-2015, 03:06 PM
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Hi and welcome Florentine

It may be difficult to go anywhere but are there ways you can mix up routine so that you're not always doing the same things at the same time which will remind you of drinking?

I think this link will be helpful to you too

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

D
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Old 04-12-2015, 05:03 PM
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Hi Florentine. I totally relate to your story. I don't drank for 25 years and mostly if I was alone. I realized I was drinking because I wanted to escape my life. I've been sober now for 25 days and I have so much clarity. I am making my life how I want it and because I'm not drinking I don't feel guilty for what I want. The funny thing is my husband is liking the new me and responding to my new likes. As far as the 5 to 8 part, that's the hardest for me too, but it takes the edge off if I treat myself to some Welches light grape juice.
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Old 04-13-2015, 12:58 AM
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Welcome to Sober Recovery
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Old 04-13-2015, 01:03 AM
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welcome!

So much good advice here already. I like hearing "nothing changes if nothing changes". It reminds me to change my habits and routine, otherwise there's a good chance I'll be back to where I was.
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