New here...day four
 

Hi Everyone, this is my first post-first joined in 2011-about time I would think! I’m new to posting on Sober Recovery as well as posting in general-so happy to have pointers.

I have been drinking almost daily for over 10 years and quite frankly, I have wasted too much of my life drinking, hungover, drowning in shame. Today is day four for me, and I am facing my first weekend sober. I know I will be asked about my plan- My plan only involves today and the weekend, so open to suggestions.

Tonight will be my first night out with people socially in over two months. I have terrible social anxiety and tend to isolate. I also have commitment issues and am not very reliable. I tend to bail at the last moment. I will be going out for a dinner with friends to a restaurant that does not have a liquor license. I will then be driven home directly by two friends (one doesn’t drink, one rarely drinks). On the rare event I beat my anxiety and manage to be social, I generally come home buzzing with energy and that is when I drink. Instead I plan to have a warm bath to calm my energy, and then post on here.

I am also concerned for the weekend. My hubby works nights all weekend so I will be alone. I was thinking that going to an AA meeting on Saturday evening might be a good idea…but I’m scared.

I tried going to my first AA meeting five years ago, and it was a comedy of errors. I looked up the meeting location details online and travelled there trembling and finally found the room. I told the first person I saw that it was my first meeting, because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. Only… it turns out that this was a cocaine anonymous meeting NOT and AA meeting (I found the meeting on the AA site). Once I realized, I tried to tell the encouraging group surrounding me that there was some mistake, that I’m a drunk, and I was looking for an AA meeting. But my protestations were waved off with choruses of “welcome home” and “you are right where you are supposed to be” lots of hugs and pleas to stay. I know it’s unlikely, but I am terrified of a repeat of that situation…

Anyways, my apologies for the long post. I am looking forward to participating and I know there is a lot of support to be had here at sober recovery.

Welcome to posting, Girl! Four days is awesome!

I would suggest looking up a local phone number for AA and giving them a call. Often, these phones just have an answering machine, but hopefully someone will return your call today. Ask about meeting times and locations. It is possible that someone could meet you and accompany you to your first meeting, but the level of service available varies --of course, AA is just a group of volunteers.

Here at SoberRecovery, I suggest the "Weekend" thread, the "Class" thread for the month you got sober, and the "24-Hour Recovery Connections" thread. Read around and post often!

Day 4 is great - maybe not drinking will reduce your anxiety. If not maybe reaching out for therapy or something. Life is out there waiting for you...

Thanks! I will definitely call the AA line. Even if I don't get a reply I will still go. Heck, it can't go as awry as last time! Well, even if it does, I'll just keep trying.

And yes, drinking really increased my anxiety. While my anxiety was through the roof the first two days of withdrawal, it has decreased tremendously in the past two days. I don't ever want to feel that anxiety of the first few days again.

We sound pretty similar. I'm on day 3. Motivation today is $$ I could save and weight I could lose.

Hi Marley! I hear ya, today was payday and I was just looking at my bank statements. Incredible how much money we pay to feel sick and tired. I have been pretty much tithing the beer store each month for a decade.

Hi.
AA as well as here is a place where people understand us. The best thing for awhile is just listen and try to understand the lingo. Asking someone will help understand and helps get us out of our shell.

A sponsor is sort of a guide for all especially newcomers, doesn’t mean a girlfriend, but can lead to close friendships.

It’s suggested to try different types of meetings for a couple of months or so to get a fair view of the dynamics. O = open meetings where all can attend, C = Closed where just alcoholics attend and share.

BE WELL

I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and like you, one of my triggers is being out in a social situation and then coming home and drinking alone to unwind.

In the past couple years Ive had some good periods of sobriety (60-110 days) and the good news is that the anxiety will almost certainly melt away. The bad news is that for me, it tends to get worse for the first month and then it goes away pretty quickly.

Theres lots of things to do to lower anxiety and there's tons of great info here since so many of us suffer from it in early recovery.

Please keep posting as you get healthy. It's inspiring to read people's progress.

Welcome & congrats on day 4

Welcome to the Forum!! :wave:

Welcome to SR Girlwiththedog. :) We're so glad to meet you.

I was drinking daily when I found this wonderful community. We never have to be alone - and there's always someone to listen and help. Reading the posts here every day helps strengthen me and keep me on track. :)

Welcome and congratulations!! A day, a weekend at a time every day sober is a win!

Hello and Welcome Girlwiththedog, http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g1...LickSmiley.gif

Congrats on Day 4 and counting!!!! and on posting........... :)

We do this TOGETHER. Let us know how AA goes for you! I'm off to a meeting shortly.

That miss hap on that meeting made me laugh. You did very well exspressing yourself in this post and you sound like a fun person. Don't worry what other people think of you and be yourself and congratulations on day four!

Welcome to the family and congrats on day four. That's a good start to a better sober life. :)

What sort of dog do you have? I have two myself. :)

Welcome. The first weekend is the hardest. I came to enjoy showing up for work on Monday in a fit and state, with no hangover, no shame. Just some of the benefits of getting sober

I've said before on other threads that people with social anxiety issues should first go to a speaker meeting. Even though they are usually much larger than a regular, they have certain advantages.
1. It is real easy to just walk in and find a chair. The chances are, nobody will even know you are a newcomer.
2. At the speaker meetings I go to, nobody is asked to introduce themselves. With so many people there, it would take the whole hour to do this. So, there is no pressure to say anything.
3. There's a real good chance that their are other newcomers there also.
4. All you need to do is sit and listen to the speaker. Nobody will be paying any attention to you.
5. Now, this might be bad advice, but if you begin to feel real anxious, you can just quietly leave early. Nobody will even notice.
6. This might also be bad advice, but when I first walk in and sit down before the speaker starts speaking, I whip out my phone to check for messages, etc. It helps me to stay focused on something other than the meeting and helps me to relax. Not a very sociable thing to do, but it helps me to not start to freak out and bolt for the door (it's happened). Now, after going to MANY MEETINGS, I might just sit and look around the room and say hi to a few people I know, but I always have my phone ready, just in case. LOL. Whatever works, right? John

Hi everyone, I just got home and am overwhelmed with all these messages of support-grateful and exactly what I needed.

It's very comforting to know many others here have struggled with anxiety. As I mentioned, I have very severe social anxiety-and I just got back from my dinner.

It started off really well. An hour before I was to leave those all too familiar thoughts came back. “Why did I ever commit to this, I can’t do this…abort…abort.” But I forced through and got ready. Put on eye makeup even, for the first time in forever-hard to do with shaking hands. And then…my loveable pooch peed in the basement almost to mark the litter boxes. He has NEVER done that before. Perfect opportunity to bail. ‘I have an animal emergency on my hand, so sorry guys, my dog peed all over the basement! Can you believe it? Have to scrub it down before it sets into the wood. So sorry, I’d love to be there.” But I didn’t. I cleaned it up, did a quick mop and got ready to leave.

I wish I could say the rest of the evening was such a success story anxiety wise, but it wasn’t. The restaurant was one of those huge, loud places, with waiters knocking into your chair constantly. I left three times for ‘smokes’ during dinner to try to calm myself. Finally, looked at my phone, it had only been an hour and 15 minutes, and I called it. Gave an excuse saying I had previously planned to hang out with some internet friends at nine and would have to leave. I got a to-go box and left. Everyone was nice about it.
I am embarrassed and incredibly disappointed. But I tried, and at least managed an hour in what can only be described as a somewhat classier Casa Bonita.

Most important thing though:-I AM SOBER. I am spending my Friday SOBER. I have never spent a Friday sober. And I was probably only able to get out the door because I have been sober these past four days.

So if you all don’t mind, I’m going to call you my internet friends and hang out for a while. It’s nine after all.

You are sober after a stressful situation - that's a triumph. :)

girlwiththedog,

Great to hear you made it through your evening!! Your reason to leave early was genius. A true success story. I have also used the, I need a smoke excuse to just get away to pull myself together. Needing to use the restroom was another one. Us socially-challenged people need our backups. I hope you can now relax, kick back and enjoy the rest of your sober evening. You've more than earned it. John