Thatdeliveryguy

You know, I've made many mistakes. I drank much of my life away, I've literally gambled 6 figures on a credit card, I've created debt that my never go away. I've let people down, I've lied, I haven't always been peoples best friend.

But you know what I have been, I've been trying, I've attempted and proceeded daily with every attempt I can to be sober. I've spent much time with me trying to improve, doesn't always work. However, I am trying, I grow each day and try. I am no saint and I am certainly not the worst sinner. You know what I am, I am me.

What does it all mean, I ask myself that question often. I don't know that anyone has an answer to that question, I imagine its personal.

I don't want to be sober, I certainly don't want to be intoxicated either. the catch 22, thats an honest assessment of where I am currently at in life. But, I look forward to change, and look back and think It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good.

I suppose those things, that feeling, living like that is intrinsic to human character. We can't always be upset and live in failure and regret our habits, neither can we celebrate our successes in exce

ScottFromWI

I think perhaps you should print some of these posts out and take them to IOP with you when you have individual counseling sessions - or at least share the same thoughts that you are writing down here.

In your case ( like many of us ) your statement above really encapsulates what alcoholism is. We would LOVE to be able to drink normally, but we cannot. It simply is not possible, and will NEVER be possible. Acceptance of that is what finally freed me from the burden of drinking.

Thatdeliveryguy

That my crux Scott, thats what will crucify me, that is the cross I am worried I will die on. I am no martyr, so many others have gone before us and filled that role, However, I have to be honest in my assessment of me.

IOP for me, is a means of getting my daughter back, getting sober is secondary to that. And thats being honest, I want sobriety, I try for sobriety, but other then stringing a month or so together, I can't stay stopped.

ScottFromWI

Staying sober is a choice that you ( Jeremy ) have the power to make. The road to sobriety is not an easy one, and you will need to do the work to make it happen but make no mistake...it is a CHOICE. You have been sober now for over a month, there is no reason in the world that you cannot stay sober for another month, or a year, or a decade assuming you do the work necessary. The ONLY thing that could stop you from staying sober is if you quit doing the work and choose to drink again. No one is "destined" to drink...that's simply BS that your addiction tries to tell you.

OnMyWay7

You'll et to a point where you will want to be sober. Hang in there.

IOAA2

"I don't want to be sober, I certainly don't want to be intoxicated either. the catch 22, thats an honest assessment of where I am currently at in life. But, I look forward to change, and look back and think It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good."


Hi.
That’s the feeling a lot have. The problem is we need to want to be sober before we can become sober for a period of time.

We also have to get sober for ourself or most bets are off also. If we do sober up for ourself many good things will fall into place as a benefit.

In order for sobriety to become part of us we need to be honest about our drinking and accept the fact we cannot drink in SAFETY one day at a time in a row even if our A$$ falls off.

Then to stay sober the secret is we need to work to stay that way by changing the reasons we drank.

BE WELL

thomas11

hi tdg, this might come across as harsh, but I think you are a guy just like the rest of us, you like getting f***ed up. and yet you know you should not. Correct?

itstiime

I adgree Scott and Thomas this is going to be a long road with lots of hard work. How bad do you want it? Ask yourself