Blogs


Notices

Second DUI Feeling Depressed

Old 04-09-2015, 02:00 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Maybe start with a change in mindset. Write a gratitude list. Instead of "my commute goes from 15 minutes in a car to an hour thirty by bus." 1) you have the freedom to commute - you're not sitting in jail; 2) you live somewhere that HAS public transportation so that if you do lose your license you can get to work; 3) you have a job

I have public transportation available to me and it would take me 45 minutes to get home from work but I can't take it due to traveling during the day for work so I have to drive. It takes me at least an hour to get home in my car in bumper to bumper traffic. I would gladly trade sitting in that for public transportation. Where I can close my eyes and rest, I can read or meditate or surf the net on my phone or do a crossword puzzle or look out the window.

It's perspective. It's not the end of the world.
Ruby2 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Ruby2 For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-09-2015), Berrybean (04-10-2015), Della1968 (04-10-2015), Elodie (04-09-2015), Foolsgold186 (04-09-2015), FreeOwl (04-09-2015), Nowsthetime (04-09-2015), Pouncer (04-09-2015)
Old 04-09-2015, 02:03 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,436
Originally Posted by sg1970 View Post
What you are facing right now is nothing compared to if you would have killed someone with your drinking and driving.
A very good friend caused an accident where a victim lost their foot, it cost him $250,000, he has a felony, served jail time not to mention a lifetime of guilt.

All because he thought it was OK to drink and drive
MIRecovery is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MIRecovery For This Useful Post:
sg1970 (04-10-2015)
Old 04-09-2015, 02:33 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,388
Ghost, I've been through this too. I didn't stop drinking right away - still held out hope that I could somehow control it. The seed was planted though - I knew I was in trouble, and after the 2nd one I had to admit my drinking days must end. I couldn't be safe unless I stopped all together - I couldn't trust myself to be careful and not drive. Once that first drink hits our system - we never know where it'll lead us.

I'm very glad you're posting about this. We all understand and care - we're in this together.
Hevyn is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-09-2015), Della1968 (04-09-2015)
Old 04-09-2015, 05:54 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GhostFace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 625
Thank you all for posting. I feel much better now knowing that im not going through this by myself. I need a plan now for my sobriety. My last streak lasted for almost 90 days then i thought i could control my drinking. That lead me into a real downfall and to were im at right now.

It's time for me to take inventory of self and see how i could improve.

Thank you all!
GhostFace is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GhostFace For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-10-2015), Hevyn (04-09-2015), Pouncer (04-09-2015)
Old 04-09-2015, 05:57 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Court jester
 
Bmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by 2muchpain View Post
I believe each consequence is a nudge from my HP to push me in the right direction.
Post of the day! Couldn't agree more.
Bmac is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bmac For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-09-2015), Della1968 (04-09-2015)
Old 04-09-2015, 06:21 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mikie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
"the bad thing is that i was going to get some food and got pulled over three blocks from my house."

That isn't the bad thing man. Driving while drunk was.

I have family and friends and people I haven't met yet out there, the BAD thing is you put them all at jeopardy this night. Yourself too.

I have drank more than a human should be able to, so no judgement from me on that front and if you want to quit I am a supporter.

But it isn't a bad thing that you were going to get some food and got pulled over three blocks from your house. That's just uncaring for the rest of us on this planet, and well I am not a supporter of that.

If you hate everyone else on this planet and don't care for their well being, say so. If you want to be a drunk I can't recommend it. It's a pretty bad way to go. Being selfish about it, well I won't post my true feelings about that mindset you seem to currently have.

Best of luck, I hope you reach enough clarity to understand what I posted.
Mikie9 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Mikie9 For This Useful Post:
MIRecovery (04-10-2015), nymets86 (04-11-2015), Pouncer (04-09-2015), sg1970 (04-10-2015)
Old 04-09-2015, 09:08 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Saved By Grace
 
YoungAndClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets
Posts: 410
Well GF I'm 29 and my license has been suspended for the last year and a half because of a DUI which counted as my 2nd because I had a previous wet and reckless. It was a bad ordeal, helped me to get sober for like 7 months. Honestly man it's been absolute ****. The fines, court, the DUI classes, taking the bus. I definitly messed up and have been paying for my crime for a while now. Mind you, I still drove (not recommended but many do it) and luckily never got caught considering I was driving into the ghetto almost every other day to score.

Being sober during court was helpful and I received good behavior benefits from going to AA meetings and so on. The AA fellowship was also a great help. I tried really hard to see the positive and see that 2nd DUI as a life saving event, but eventually my optimism slipped into depression and I began to see it as just another time I got caught. My DUI happened June 4th 2013 and I still don't have a restricted license and I can't get my actual license until September. Mostly because of my disease and no money left over to pay for insurance, gas, breathalizer in my car, dui classes, dmv fees. The system ***** you, no doubt about it. Yeah it's good you didn't kill anyone, but you still got caught and are now going to be treated as if you got behind the wheel intending to kill someone.

It's sucked and like others have said all we can do is quit drinking and we won't have to relive this again. As if it were that easy, hell, now that I can't drive and I'm at home all the time drinking is about the only useful thing to help pass the time. And this is coming from someone who has been clean and sober for the last 3 months. Honestly if I were you I'd keep drinking if you can because whenever I get sober time slows to a halt. Part of the reason this last year and a half has felt like forever was because I was sober for a better part of it. Sorry if my suggestion to drink to pass the days and the time/boredom is terrible advice to give someone with a drinking problem, I'm just being brutally honest and saying it how I see it. You can either get through all this ******** sober or drunk, if you really want to hate your life and feel the full weight of your consequences, do it sober.
YoungAndClean is offline  
Old 04-09-2015, 09:31 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
Pouncer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,211
Blog Entries: 2
Can I just say something completely unabridged: Jesus Christ, stop drinking and driving!

You may be 29 and have your life ahead of you, but I do not think you understand the severity of your actions, based on reading your OP. A third of motor vehicle fatalities are due to alcohol-related accidents. People who get caught with a DUI admit driving under the influence approximately 40 times before they are caught.

I am an alcoholic. I drink, I drink, I drink - a lot. We all know what you are going through. I have done terrible things when I have been drinking. It makes me ashamed.

If you have to drink, please do not get in a car and drive. Ever. If you drink and drive, it probably means you have a problem with alcohol addiction. I am an alcohol addict, too.

I hope you feel better today and I understand the shame and embarrassment of alcohol-related problems. I am sorry to come down hard on you. However, drinking and driving is a no-no.

However exasperated I sound, I say it with hope and respect. Thank you for posting here. We have all been through the harrowing world of alcohol addiction. Please stay in touch.

-Pouncer
Pouncer is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Pouncer For This Useful Post:
Della1968 (04-10-2015), sg1970 (04-10-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 04:48 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
While I understand the sentiment... I think folks should try and remember that people who are drinking.... Alcoholics who are drinking - do not tend to make rational decisions.

I care about others and was ashamed of my actions drinking and driving... But it still didn't stop me drinking and driving. Because I was DRINKING. When drinking, my own actual values didn't apply. I no longer was the person I am....

That's not an excuse, but it is true.

Berating someone and suggesting they're uncaring or thoughtless when they've gotten a DUI doesn't seem helpful.

It's doubtful that they began - sober - by thinking 'tonight I'm going to get drunk, drive and endanger the world'
FreeOwl is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-10-2015), Brauggi (04-10-2015), CuteNGayYay (04-11-2015), nymets86 (04-11-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 05:35 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,870
Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post
While I understand the sentiment... I think folks should try and remember that people who are drinking.... Alcoholics who are drinking - do not tend to make rational decisions.

I care about others and was ashamed of my actions drinking and driving... But it still didn't stop me drinking and driving. Because I was DRINKING. When drinking, my own actual values didn't apply. I no longer was the person I am....

That's not an excuse, but it is true.

Berating someone and suggesting they're uncaring or thoughtless when they've gotten a DUI doesn't seem helpful.

It's doubtful that they began - sober - by thinking 'tonight I'm going to get drunk, drive and endanger the world'
Well said. I like many others have done things while drinking that we would never do if we were sober. I am certainly in no position to pass judgement on anyone else. I'm sure the OP knows like we all do that drinking and driving is a horrible and dangerous thing to do. I would think the best thing people on SR can do is offer support and suggestions on what the OP can do to keep this from happening again. Shame and guilt never kept anyone sober.
2muchpain is offline  
Old 04-10-2015, 05:37 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
Shame+Guilt=Drunk
FreeOwl is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-10-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 06:06 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GhostFace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 625
It's not the mistakes we make, it's the consequence. Things could of been much worst for me; at first i was complaining but now I feel like i have the support to get through this. It's not the end of the world but a new begining were i could look deep into myself and see why i do what i do and how i could change it.

I was trying to fix a negative with a negative looking for positive results and ended up were i am today. This could be a blessing in disguise, i'ts all a matter of how i look at it. From now on, i will move forward.

I wont focus on the past or the future but today, It's all i have and commit to make the best of it.

Day 2....
GhostFace is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to GhostFace For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-10-2015), CuteNGayYay (04-11-2015), Della1968 (04-10-2015), YoungAndClean (04-10-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 06:15 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,190
Originally Posted by GhostFace View Post
Good Morning,

I few weeks back i endend up with my second DUI
I'm not proud to say, I have been down that road twice.
Have noticed (if) one stays sober, all get's better in time.

I lost my license and rode a motorized bicycle around town for 2 years.
I was grateful that I had some form of transportation.

Might be time to take Public Transportation.
And, we should consider this a blessing, beats walking.

Getting into a (good) treatment Program, causes at times
the Judge to show a little mercy.

Oh, how we all need mercy.

MB
Mountainmanbob is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Mountainmanbob For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-10-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 07:14 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
xenodoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 18
I just got my 2nd DWI last week on Thursday, so I am in the same boat as you are. I am sure our states have different DWI laws and different penalties, but as everyone here said, use this as a turning point. You cannot change the past, but you can manipulate the present and future. Do good things. Remind yourself WHY you are getting sober and it will help in the end. Hope everything works out for you, and get a lawyer ASAP if you can. If not, public defender. You want the best deal possible for yourself.

I tell people this on here all the time: "Drinking the night before is just stealing happiness from the next day." Think about that.
xenodoma is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to xenodoma For This Useful Post:
GhostFace (04-10-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 07:39 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GhostFace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 625
Originally Posted by xenodoma View Post
I just got my 2nd DWI last week on Thursday, so I am in the same boat as you are. I am sure our states have different DWI laws and different penalties, but as everyone here said, use this as a turning point. You cannot change the past, but you can manipulate the present and future. Do good things. Remind yourself WHY you are getting sober and it will help in the end. Hope everything works out for you, and get a lawyer ASAP if you can. If not, public defender. You want the best deal possible for yourself.

I tell people this on here all the time: "Drinking the night before is just stealing happiness from the next day." Think about that.
Hope it works out for you as well.

Are you looking into recovery?

I'm currently reading a book "Under the influence " and how alcohol is actually poison to the body.

Good read so far....
GhostFace is offline  
Old 04-10-2015, 08:33 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,494
Originally Posted by YoungAndClean View Post
...like others have said all we can do is quit drinking and we won't have to relive this again. As if it were that easy, hell, now that I can't drive and I'm at home all the time drinking is about the only useful thing to help pass the time. And this is coming from someone who has been clean and sober for the last 3 months. Honestly if I were you I'd keep drinking if you can because whenever I get sober time slows to a halt. Part of the reason this last year and a half has felt like forever was because I was sober for a better part of it. Sorry if my suggestion to drink to pass the days and the time/boredom is terrible advice to give someone with a drinking problem, I'm just being brutally honest and saying it how I see it. You can either get through all this ******** sober or drunk, if you really want to hate your life and feel the full weight of your consequences, do it sober.
Yes, there is nothing worse in life than feeling the "full weight" of the consequences of our actions, and drinking will make that all go away. We should all drink ourselves to death because it makes it seem like time is flying by while we're drinking. Particularly since "drinking is about the only useful thing to help pass the time."

Is there anyone left who wonders why there's so much of a stigma attached to alcoholism?
EndGameNYC is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to EndGameNYC For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (04-10-2015), MIRecovery (04-10-2015), RobbyRobot (04-14-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 08:38 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GhostFace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 625
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC View Post

Yes, there is nothing worse in life than feeling the "full weight" of the consequences of our actions, and drinking will make that all go away. We should all drink ourselves to death because it makes it seem like time is flying by while we're drinking. Particularly since "drinking is about the only useful thing to help pass the time."

Is there anyone left who wonders why there's so much of a stigma attached to alcoholism?
Not sure if you guys are serious or just trolling
GhostFace is offline  
Old 04-10-2015, 08:44 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,494
Originally Posted by GhostFace View Post
Not sure if you guys are serious or just trolling
Speaking for myself, no, I'm not "trolling." I was put off by the comment that you should continue drinking during the process of resolving your stuff related to your DUI.

Drinking for us is never a good idea, and I find the suggestion to do so to be harmful and destructive.

I apologize for flying off topic.
EndGameNYC is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to EndGameNYC For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (04-10-2015), Brauggi (04-10-2015), Hevyn (04-10-2015), MIRecovery (04-10-2015), Pouncer (04-10-2015), RobbyRobot (04-14-2015)
Old 04-10-2015, 08:55 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Originally Posted by GhostFace View Post
Hope it works out for you as well. Are you looking into recovery? I'm currently reading a book "Under the influence " and how alcohol is actually poison to the body. Good read so far....
Also recommend "beyond the influence"
Tang is offline  
Old 04-10-2015, 09:01 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,873
Blog Entries: 2
Originally Posted by YoungAndClean View Post
It's sucked and like others have said all we can do is quit drinking and we won't have to relive this again. As if it were that easy, hell, now that I can't drive and I'm at home all the time drinking is about the only useful thing to help pass the time. And this is coming from someone who has been clean and sober for the last 3 months. Honestly if I were you I'd keep drinking if you can because whenever I get sober time slows to a halt. Part of the reason this last year and a half has felt like forever was because I was sober for a better part of it. Sorry if my suggestion to drink to pass the days and the time/boredom is terrible advice to give someone with a drinking problem, I'm just being brutally honest and saying it how I see it. You can either get through all this ******** sober or drunk, if you really want to hate your life and feel the full weight of your consequences, do it sober.
Y&C, how are you getting on with working through the steps with your sponsor? I only ask because I'm really surprised that you are sounding so negative about your own sobriety and actually encouraging someone to drink. I did feel that way when I was attending but not actively working the programme, but since I started working it more actively (having a daily routine, talking to my sponsor, etc as well as meetings) I feel much better, and actually feel like those promises really are starting to come true.

I hope you feel better soon. In the meantime, I hope you won't be too offended if I say, Ghost, please don't take any notice of Young&Clean. Things WILL get better if you can stay sober. No, it won't be easy, but it WILL be worth it.

Good luck.


If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Berrybean is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:17 AM.