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Weekender , 10th of april 2015 , lets get through together

Old 04-09-2015, 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Della1968 View Post
Freaking work I so thought I was going to get shotgun today!!
Did you bribe M, Della?
Looks like you and Marcher might have a bidding war....
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:09 PM
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Hi everyone. .
Ruby..I totally relate to the desire to escape and take a break from it all. That's what I want...and I don't want to drink. I mean, I don't want all the negative consequences that would go along with a short break by drinking. Not worth it. We need to find other ways...maybe a nice bike ride or some other pleasurable activity. A good movie can do it. Actually. ..my volunteer work helps me get out of my head for a few hours. I spend time with a 7 year old doing something fun, but ruby, you do that every day!
Well, anyway, I'm so glad that the weekend is almost here.
Hi Rose......you be careful at the barbecue. ..sounds risky to me. Hang close here, we will be here if you need support.
BigS...you made a wise decision. We don't need drama in our lives. Lord knows I've had enough for 10 lifetimes.
Hi Cleome...welcome to SR. This is a great place.
Olive. .the tag to is too blurry to read. But it looks like a bush to me!
Midnight blue...thank goodness those chicken pox are gone! Sounds like it was miserable for you.
Ok..gonna see what's on tv...see you all later.
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by rose28 View Post
Hi all, I'm new to this site, but this weekend (starting Friday afternoon) is going to be my first hurdle and I'm so nervous that I'll mess it up straight away. So seeing this thread was very exciting!

I'm currently living in a ten bed houseshare (must be mad) with 9 other young professionals. We're having a bbq tomorrow and I'm the one shopping for food and drink. They are all so excited to get wasted and have fun. I have some alcohol free lager to drink with the intention it will make me feel like I'm joining in the drinking fun, but it's going to be really hard not to drink.

X
Welcome Rose - you'd mentioned in another post that you just got sober yesterday and spent some time in the hospital a few days ago after a drinking-related incident. As LB said, this upcoming event you have planned at your house seems to be a one-way ticket back to where you started.

Why are you tasked with shopping for drink if there's 9 people living with you? I hate to play the role of Dr. Downer here, but I would strongly recommend you remove yourself from that environment as soon as you possibly can and ditch the party. I'm sure it's easier said than done but that's just my .02 cents.

We support you no matter what, but please be well. We want you to have a solid foundation to build on. That means no parties for a while, so you can work on some other changes that will be even more beneficial. All the best to you on this weekend. Please keep posting and let us know what's up.
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:15 PM
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Bimini, my brain is all over the place most of the time. I've gotten better with time but as I was reading through this thread and the responses my mind was also going here and there. The squirrel cage. I'm also a big fan of beach glass. I used to collect it almost religiously and at one time made necklaces out of it. But, the city got a lot better about grooming the beaches over the past ten years so it's harder to come by. I always think it has a magical quality.

So Bimini, Della, Ruby, Olive and Strat could be "scattered brains" instead of LBrain.

I've worked out two days in a row now. I'm going to try to keep the momentum going. I can fit it in after work before picking up kids IF traffic isn't so awful AND I'm mindful enough to leave the office at 4:30. Plus, I wish we could all dial in somewhere and hang out and talk. I love my mother (and father). They had the kids today because the kids are off on spring break. My niece and nephew are as well and all four of the grandkids get along. So, my mom said they could all stay overnight and all day tomorrow. Meaning, that as mr. Ruby is still on the road and the kids are gone I have the house and TV alone to myself tonight!!!!!

And for the dog park people, all the local dog parks and dog events in the area have been closed or cancelled due to a dog influenza outbreak that's sweeping the area. Who knew dogs could get the flu?

BigS, escape to tune up is a good thing and I wholly understand. I used to do that when I lived in Minnesota. Not so much here as I started to get severe anxiety attacks while driving distances by myself. Since I quit drinking that has gotten immeasurably better. And having the kids in the car with me helps too. I'm almost never alone. Now I just have anxiety attacks because they're always fighting in the back seat.
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Olive1 View Post
Can anyone figure out what this says?
Surprisingly, I think I can.

First I tried a Google image search on the whole photo. No promising results. Then I cropped it and searched just using the bottom half, hoping to match an image of the leaves. No luck.

Then I searched Monrovia's site for trees and shrubs that started with C or G. It looked like "Aurea" at the end so I searched Monrovia for that word. Nope.

Then the middle started to look like "spicata", so I Googled for "spicata Aurea", and came up with:

CORYLOPSIS SPICATA 'AUREA'
(Spike Winterhazel)

which seems to match the shapes on the label, and the leaves seem to match.



Hmm, maybe I'll get some plants this summer ...
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:25 PM
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Storm is rolling in! What Strat got earlier we've been getting off and on all day. Tornadoes touched down north of the city this evening - strafing the Illinois wisconsin border. Big booming thunderstorms used to be a huge drinking trigger for me. So let's see how many triggers do we contend with? Home alone with no responsibilities? Check. Big storm? Check. Friday tomorrow and the weekend starting? Check. What is Ruby doing? Visiting with friends here on the weekend thread!

Rose, welcome to the weekenders. I agree with the other posters to be cautious with this BBQ, if not avoid it altogether. Being a party avoider sounds far less fun, but better safe than sorry in the beginning. I certainly couldn't have done it.
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:33 PM
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Ruby, I'm glad you have the house to yourself and can relax tonight. When I'm home alone, I spend a lot of time on SR. Nothing wrong with that. It keeps me sane and sober. Enjoy your solitude! !
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Solarion View Post
Surprisingly, I think I can.

First I tried a Google image search on the whole photo. No promising results. Then I cropped it and searched just using the bottom half, hoping to match an image of the leaves. No luck.

Then I searched Monrovia's site for trees and shrubs that started with C or G. It looked like "Aurea" at the end so I searched Monrovia for that word. Nope.

Then the middle started to look like "spicata", so I Googled for "spicata Aurea", and came up with:

CORYLOPSIS SPICATA 'AUREA'
(Spike Winterhazel)

which seems to match the shapes on the label, and the leaves seem to match.



Hmm, maybe I'll get some plants this summer ...
Oh my goodness! I think you might be right!
Ding ding ding ding ding!!!
You get the prize!

Thank you so much for figuring that out!!!
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:35 PM
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HaF, I think volunteering is great. I used to do a lot of it but can't right now.

Oh em gee, it's pouring buckets, giant chunks of hail are hitting the windows, the wind is blowing all every which way, thunder and lightning. And so much for me time on the television. Every big storm and I lose the satellite signal. And I think my younger, and more stupid, cat is outside in this.
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by strategery View Post
Ruby and Bim-I am also an overthinker, but don't allow myself to do it anymore since it tends to go negative almost instantaneously. I have to interrupt the thought patterns.
Me five! Currently practicing interrupting the thought patterns, especially the angry, vengeful and judgmental ones. Starting in on "A Course in Miracles" and related books.

The head might be primed for such little dust devils to occur, but so what.

Anger is a weed in the garden of the mind.

(to keep with the gardening theme )
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:43 PM
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Solarion, welcome to the "scattered brain" club. I agree. Those angry thoughts grow deep roots. Kind of like dandelions. Hard to get rid of. I've found that once I quit drinking a lot of absolute rage has bubbled up.

Ok. My dad just called and my son is vomiting. Wants me to come get him. She has the other three kids. And it's a raging storm outside. And you know? I'm sober and I can drive out in this and I'm grateful. But I won't be getting any sleep apparently. See you all later.
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Old 04-09-2015, 07:48 PM
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Good for you, Ruby! Keep on postin' and visitin'. Before you know it, it's gonna be 10pm and you're off to bed. Take advantage of this quiet time and go to bed worry-free and sleep well. I'm on US Mountain Time but will still hit the sack early. It gets dark so damn early down here by the equator - very few changes in that regard - so by 8.30pm it's already been dark for 2 hours no matter the season. Speaking of seasons, "summer" and "winter" are the only two that are acknowledged down here, and they don't match at all with US seasons. I was telling someone that I moved here "last summer" and they thought I meant December.

I have the house to myself every night. In early sobriety, I'd think about drinking sometimes. But the thought of flushing my entire accomplishment down the toilet, while alone, sitting in front of the TV, and then inevitably lying about it...just too depressing. I didn't want to "go back out" like that. Staying sober on those nights made me stronger and I felt so much better emotionally the next day. In the end I didn't want to "go back out" at all.

Brings to mind this time last year when I had a major craving out in San Diego and I kept trying to reason with myself that it was okay to drink. I convinced myself that I was depriving myself of real life and that only alcohol could help me function comfortably. Luckily a friend from SR saved my butt and talked me off the ledge. The support here is awesome and I hope everyone on board this weekend takes advantage of it...

Congrats on the fish, LB. Glad you found a keeper!
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Old 04-09-2015, 08:31 PM
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Sure would love some ice cream right about now.....
Ruby, you are a fine mother.
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Old 04-09-2015, 08:31 PM
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Checking in for the evening.

Ruby-That sucks you have to go out in this and won't have the house to yourself. The good thing is you have been staying here, are sober, and can pick him up.

BigS and Ruby- I entertained the idea of drinking while mr. strat was gone, but did not want to ruin all the progress I had made, nor did I want to deal with all the aftermath. It was easier and better to stay sober. Going back to drinking, as well as the aftermath is just depressing to where I could really relate to what you were saying BigS. I can also relate to wanting that feeling of escape. Some days my hobbies are capable of providing that, but not always.

Solarion-you are awesome at cracking images. That is awesome that you are also doing the thought interruption. I will have to check out The Course of Miracles. Thank you!
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Old 04-09-2015, 09:08 PM
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Woah.

That was fast! Count me in for another sober weekend! Checking in on day twenty-something.
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Old 04-09-2015, 09:12 PM
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Yay Pouncer!
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Old 04-10-2015, 12:41 AM
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....uh.

Home from the day's work and its the weekend. via Friday Night.....y'know party nite, get stuck into the beers because ....it's the end of the week....because...its been a hard week.....'cos, you don't have to go to work in the morning. Because I come home to an empty house where there used to be a wife and a cat. or maybe because I'm really tired and alcohol will dissolve all of that for a while.

So many reasons / excuses, whatever.

But I just can't be arsed.....all I want is some dinner and a really good night's sleep. A whole night, not a night where I wake up scratching at my itching body, unable to get to sleep because I can't breath thro blocked sinuses. I've got some pills for it....hay fever stuff I think.

No drinks tonite.....just some sleep and a better day tomorrow.

That's all I want.....
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Old 04-10-2015, 01:17 AM
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This thread already feels like such good support. I'm heading to the gym in a minute then will be shopping. I was originally the only one of us off work today hence why I was saddled with the shopping. Another housemate is now off so she is sorting the alcohol and I'll just sort the food. The only way to get out of it is to try to sneak to my room once the bbq has started and hope no one bothers to come and get me. I have things to do that can keep me occupied if need be. Right, off to the gym....Eurghh!
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Old 04-10-2015, 01:41 AM
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Originally Posted by rose28 View Post
This thread already feels like such good support. I'm heading to the gym in a minute then will be shopping. I was originally the only one of us off work today hence why I was saddled with the shopping. Another housemate is now off so she is sorting the alcohol and I'll just sort the food. The only way to get out of it is to try to sneak to my room once the bbq has started and hope no one bothers to come and get me. I have things to do that can keep me occupied if need be. Right, off to the gym....Eurghh!
Glad you don't have to buy the alcohol! That definitely seems too much stress in early sobriety, I know I couldn't do it. I don't think you need to avoid the entire thing if you don't want, unless you feel uncomfortable or will be pressured to drink, just make sure you have the option to leave (yep even to your room!) if things get too much. If you don't want to be there at all though surely they'd be fine with you doing your own thing in your room or going somewhere else? Maybe time to set up some boundaries if not...
Enjoy the gym!

I'm off to yoga now, glad everyone's here I think I might need this thread this weekend, feeling a bit off balance
Hope everyone's doing well
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Old 04-10-2015, 01:42 AM
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Hey canguy ,
sober mornings were a rediscovery of an enchanted land for me, hope you enjoy your sober morning . such a great feeling .

Hi Rose ,
often i was sick enough when drinking that i had to go sit in my room by myself … no one noticed when i did it and wasn't drinking , they were all to focused on their own drinking to puzzle over me for more than a couple of mins .

pouncer keep on ,

immri welcome

Ruby , you are a great mum, i give you this voucher *passes it over* to have a bubble bath , take a day off or do something good for yourself .

BigS , I don't have much to share about relations but sobriety makes us better decision makers .. sounds like you made a good judgement call for your own serenity .

Solarion , hope the weeding and tending in the mind garden goes well . keep on ..

hello cleomie , hey GS , Hey Trees , Bim , olive …… oh my getting RSI typing now … finger cramp urrgh ..

Kzaug did what say make you feel it wasn't for my drug friends too , sorry and of course this thread is for you all as well, with my main problem being with drink i tend to think in those old ruts.

friday coffee going on and a bumper game of Civ3 .

Later , m
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