Bmac

Morning family. Bmac jr. and I stayed up late and slept in late. It's nice to wake up and not immediately calculate last night's booze total.

Jr. heading back to his Mom's at 4, so a 5:30 meeting is the plan. Will record the final round of the Masters and chill this evening.

Have a good Sunday peeps. Love u all!

Solarion

Thank you, MesaMan. You are right -- excellent material for Practice.

Strategery, I like MGMT so much now I'm thinking of looking for their albums on vinyl -- very rare for me.

Mecanix, thanks for mentioning your 5000 books. I don't have quite so many, but almost. Sometimes I dream of starting over in a new place with almost nothing in it and about one-tenth of the book collection. Bibliomania started at a young age with me, long before other problems.

Going out just to get out before the rain and pick up a few staples and sundries. Will also look for some fun man-sheets or curtains for a more playful environment.

JaneLane

Mesaman,

I like the sound of that local radio station. MC yogi is one of my favourites!

I haven't listened to the radio for years. I might download an app and see if I can find one I like.

Mark1014

I hadn't thought of that in a while, but that's something I did too. Mostly to convince myself that I hadn't really had THAT much to drink. Well, I don't miss the morning guilt at all. Mornings are now about a relaxed cup of coffee and steady hands. Love. It.

Ruby2

FaD and BMac, I am not posting this as a "one up" but I never got up with dread to calculate how much I had the night before. I woke up on Sundays calculating how much time I had to suffer through until the stores would sell me alcohol. Especially catastrophic if I didn't have any left from the night before. I do NOT miss those days.

Back from church. Kids are badgering me mercilessly about calling friends to play with. I wish we lived on a block where they could just go outside and knock on doors to see who was home and who was available but I bought a house I could afford and before I was married, let alone having children so that didn't figure into my decision. I was 36 and single with no thought that I'd ever have kids. Things have a way of changing. Always keep that in mind.

So, to keep my peace of mind and to keep from throttling my children, I will make the phone calls.

Soberwolf

Hello Weekenders

Mark1014

Hi Ruby,

Sobriety is the clear winner either way!

Weasel1966

Hello everyone! Back home relaxing. Full day so far. Gym, Tommy, walk by the water. Taking it all in. Just pleasant.

The Sunday blues creep in but, like I was telling a friend, I love when the universe sends those little signs. I decided to make a burger on the grill. Seem the right thing to do on the first nice day for us. The women in front of me was buying Alan's Coffee Brandy. If anyone knows Maine that is a Maine girls go to. Coffee brandy and milk were common at the back woods bars I used to go to. Anyway... She smelled of booze. Not lightly.

I felt sad for her. I silently gave thanks... And stepped out of line to go back for the cappuccino cupcake I was eyeing. I figured that was all the approval the world need to bestow on me to justify it. I deserved it.

Work work work! Yeah! I have some fun stuff to do this week. I need to decipher that scarp of paper I scribbled at 2:30 this morning into a presentation of my design.

Will be close by. Making the burger and eating cupcakes!

Everyone sounds good!

Strat... Yes that what I have. But he also started me on the acid reducers when there was no signs of me stopping the drink. Since I have for some time I cut back and will get a follow up soon.

Thanks for such a nice fun weekend with you all! Really. and thanks to M for hosting!

K

bigsombrero

Hiya folks - checking in back from higher altitude. Had a great time driving to the coast yesterday and enjoyed my mini-vacation. Spent the morning swimming and walking down the black sand beach as far as I could go. Took a nap under a makeshift thatched roof hut, watched dolphins leaping off shore. In the afternoon I met up with some friends who live down there, one of them was drinking and asked if I'd like a beer. I said "no thanks" and had a seltzer water instead. Easy as that. We chatted into the dark hours and I went to bed at 10pm, exhausted.

Drove home this morning and back safe and sound. Didn't bring my camera, but had my cell phone available to take a couple quick snapshots. Sun, sand, seawater, and sugarcane as far as the eye can see....

saoutchik

Hi JaneLane I'm a Londoner too. I have two daughters in their 20's so would that be from Daria?

Ruby, BMac as a spirits drinker it was depressingly obvious how much I'd put away

Solarion just remember your on the right side of history

Spent the day welding and removing old suspension (involved lots of swearing)
While I was there someone sold me a case for my Samsung for 15 hard earned Saoutchik Pounds. Que fastest ever buyers remorse as I was unable to remove device without the aid of a screwdriver

Was hoping to watch Masters (old boy that I am)in peace but daughter 2 on the way round with two friends

Solarion

Back from the shops, MGMT's "Electric Feel" still in my head. Found their CD "Congratulations" for a few dollars. I can listen to the others for free through Amazon Prime, but will probably get physical albums anyway.

Stopped into the bookstore and ended up with "Taming the Tiger Within: Meditations on Transforming Difficult Emotions" by T. N. Hanh, which looks like it will be good medicine and guidance in the same general area as ACIM-related books, but maybe less abstract and systematic and more familiar and down-to-earth.

I think MGMT will also be good medicine and will watch more of their videos.

No colorful, boyish man-sheets or curtains to be found, but I did find a few other useful and life-enhancing items without tipping into overspending as a substitute addiction.

Here's another cool video I saw today:

TennantSmith

Hello everyone. I'm enjoying a relaxing day with my daughter watching Star Wars. Those movies never get old!

I'm also going to eat all the foods today and tomorrow since I begin prep for a procedure on Wednesday. Genetics or a fluke (maybe both) decided to bless me with a wonky time bomb of a colon at a young age. I started getting colon polyps at the age of 9 and have continued to get them since. I'm now 38. The polyps are now becoming the more aggressive type that become cancer, so yearly scopes are a must. I just joke that this can be a push on my weight loss efforts, ha.

I do believe I am going to start utilizing these weekender threads more often. IT's always nice to chat with others who understand where I'm at or where I've been.

trachemys

The weekender threads are always good, TS. Then again, there's 147000+ people here whenever you need.

TennantSmith

trachemys, definitely! And nice new signature and picture. I have a turtle. We call her our puppy in body armor. She is special, lol.

TennantSmith

"The story of addiction is that they are often highly lovable individuals — charismatic, charming, and easy to love," says actress Edie Falco. "They systematically go about destroying all those feelings of attachment to the people around them."

I just saw this quote in an article about the final season of Nurse Jackie. Pow, right in the kisser.

I have times where I do the whole "Woe is me, I'm so lonely" then I remember that I created this world I'm in right now. I chose drinking over relationships so many times or had relationships end because of my drinking. Initially, I am the person everyone wants to be around. I am charming, funny, intelligent, and witty. Then, if they are around enough, I'll either push them away or scare them away. I truly am Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde in regards to who I am sober vs. drunk.

I think sometimes my fear is that drinking showed me who I really was and sober me was a mask.

I really hope that's not the case . . .

trachemys

TS, we don't run away

Bmac

Quite the contrary. It is most certainly the other way around. For those who drank many years, they become so accustomed to the mask, that they forget who they really are. Then when the booze and mask are taken away, it's like "Who is this person in the mirror".

Just takes time and patience to fall in love with yourself again.

TennantSmith

trachemys, I'm learning that and have learned, in my two years of being single, that people who stick around both comfort and frighten me. I don't do intimacy well, lol. But I reckon it's time I learn.

Bmac, that's what I am hoping. I had a professor say once "Who you are drunk is who you really are" I went round and round with her but finally we had to agree to disagree. I think parts of who we are come out when we drink and inhibitions are down. However, in some ways, I think it's a more distorted image of who we are.

Too many deep thoughts on Day 1

trachemys

TS, it amazes me at just how intimate we get on here. Anonymity helps. Letting oneself be free and intimate is an ordeal. We do it and we gain from doing it.

TennantSmith

Trach, I was quite active on SR about 2 1/2 years ago. I made some close friends. I then returned to drinking and pushed a lot of people away. However, now that I'm back and have resumed conversation with some, it's as if I never left.

Anonymity can help. I also think having an understanding of experiences creates a deep bond as well.

I have close friends in my life who are incredible. However, since they do not struggle with addiction (I was bright enough to pick friends who don't drink or use, lol), they don't fully understand. They are supportive of me and all that, but some of the nuances of recovery are so personal, they can only be shared with others who understand.

I mean, no one else besides a person with a drinking problem would understand how common it is to check the whites of eyes for yellowing or googling "Signs of liver failure"