Ruby2

Hi Scott, some of what you've written sounds familiar. My anxiety took the form of being off kilter. My equilibrium felt off and I felt like I was going to fall over. I've not had that for a while.

I took Zoloft for a good while. I didn't seem to have many side effects from it. It helped some. Withdrawing from it is annoying because you can get brain "zaps" but carefully tapered shouldn't be an issue.

I don't drink caffeine very often anymore and never on an empty stomach. That seems helpful. I also have a clonazapam prescription that I take only as needed. I filled it a year ago March and I still have more than half left. That helps a lot if I can't quiet my head at night. And I've taken trazodone but only a very small dose and at bedtime. It's non habit forming and helps with sleep.

Good luck with your doctor. It's such a pain.

Knurdyone

Congrats on all your sober time. I can relate a LOT about anxiety having been much worse while drinking & early early sobriety but it's still hanging around. "Monkey on my back" is exactly how I would put it. Not debilitating but just...there, I feel unnecessarily.

And every night before I go to bed, I have to check *everything*. Lights, stoves, all faucets, all appliances, doors, thermostat etc. The main "reason" being something might be left on, get overheated and start a fire. And I would never forgive myself if I didn't check it all before I went to bed. Irrational, I know. But relatively harmless. My partner is bemused. It's something I did a lot while drinking on nights I didn't drink. I thought it would go away with longer term sobriety.

And lately my brain has been running nonstop with imaginary arguments I would have with my parents if I were to call them out on stuff... Anxiety has been high last few days. I know it will pass...I hope. Generally anxiety is there but been pretty tolerable.

I've been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder & panic disorder. I've tried every med under the sun for it including SSRIs & a benzo. My system does not like these meds...in fact seemed to amplify the anxiety. I can't & don't want to self- medicate with alcohol any more. I'm med- free and feel best this way

So what I find helpful is exercise, little to no sweets, deep breathing (in nose for 4, hold for 7, exhale thru mouth for 8) repeated 10-15 times. Eat reasonably regularly & healthy. Listen to or watch comedy...laugh...be with friends...do an enjoyable hobby...read on SR... get immersed in a project at work but not too immersed...Meditation is highly rated, I need to get more into it myself.

Thanks for starting this thread, I think many will be able to relate & chime in

~Lia~

I have anxiety also. I went to therapy for a while and got some strategies to help me cope. But I too have that "monkey on your back" feeling. I don't want to take prescriptions, so I opted to go the natural route.

St. John's wort didn't work for me, but Serelax worked wonders. I only got a 30 day supply to help me early in my sobriety and was feeling good so I didn't bother getting more. No withdrawals or anything. I didn't need anything for the next 4-5 months.

I am in a hard place again with my anxiety, and will order more Serelax tomorrow. Maybe a 30 or 90 day supply this time as I feel my anxiety heightening with spring and summer coming, more get togethers and situations that stress me out just thinking about it. In fact, I've had a sore neck for days with all my anxiety.

EndGameNYC

I'm with Venecia on exercising. I don't know how I missed it. I train in martial arts a few times each week and ride my stationery bike for sixty-to-ninety minutes, five times each week. It makes a tremendous difference.

ScottFromWI

Point duly noted. I am in good physical shape and not overweight at all but don't exercise nearly as much as I used to. My job is very sedentary too witn the bulk of my day spent on a computer, phone or in meetings.

Belle13

Hello All,

I'm new here and have been struggling to get sober for about 5 years now - actually I can't say I've only struggled to get sober. I've also just drank and thought I could moderate etc. Anyway, I know that's a lie - and I'm at a really low point in my life right now. I was laid off from my job that I had for 15 years (they moved - not drink related layoff) and my husband and I are not doing well...

I just feel like nothing is right in my life right now - and I want to at least do one thing that's in my control - quit drinking for good. I told myself this morning if I could just go for 6 months I would re-assess at that point. My real hope is that I will forget about Alcohol and move on from it during that time. I'm so tired of having this problem!!

Seeing your posts about exercise is getting me motivated - I know I need to add that to my routine to be successful.

Thanks for listening - hope I'm making some sense.

Della1968

Welcome Belle!

kzaug2014

Hi Scott,
I've taken Zoloft for over 10yrs. It works well for my depression, but not my anxiety. I was prescribed klonopin for all that time for my anxiety disorder ( PTSD. ) Yes, all the horror stories about benzos are true. Nuff said bout that.
My MD ( who knows all about my addictions ) recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ( CBT ) for severe anxiety disorders. The way we perceive situations influences how we feel emotionally. IE: 2 people look at the same situation. Person A looks at it thinking "what a great idea!" This person feels happy. Person B looks at the very same situation, but thinks "that idea sucks" & feels depressed as of a result of his thinking. It's not the situation that directly affects how people feel emotionally, but rather, their thoughts in that situation. And when people are distressed, their perspective is often distorted & their thoughts may be unrealistic. CBT helps people identify their distressing thoughts & evaluate how realistic they are. Then people learn to change their distorted thinking ( & when they think more realistically, they feel better. )

Knurdyone

Welcome, Belle! I'm sorry to hear about your layoff. Congrats on making the decision to be sober for 6 months - on the bright side, maybe this pause will be a good start to being alcohol-free. This will pass and when you start work again you'll be on solid ground

Do stick around...good advice & camaraderie here on SR. Face-to-face meetings are helpful for me. I find AA & SMART programs very helpful FWIW

digdug

Hi Scott,

I've got a little over two years sober as well.

I've had major anxiety since as long as I can remember. Definitely since, 12-13, when I first started various treatments. It's basically the reason I started using drugs and drinking in the first place. Self-medication.

My anxiety manifests with physical symptoms, like the feeling that my skin is crawling or electricity is being shot through my veins. My resting pulse is around 100 BPM. This is followed by dizziness, nausea, vertigo, dissociation, where it feels like I'm not even in my body, and then full on panic attacks. Like you said, it can be tough to deal with when my anxiety pops up randomly, especially in work situations, where it may come out of nowhere for no apparent reason (maybe just sitting at my desk on an otherwise low-stress day). I've had to leave AA meetings because of panic attacks. It sucks.

I have been diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks. I also have OCD tendencies (my dad has OCD), including trichotillomania (hair pulling).

So I have tried almost every drug available for anxiety, most with little to no success. This includes SSRIs, from Zoloft to Paxil to more recently, Vybrid. I've tried tricyclic anti-dipressants. I've tried antihistamine-based drugs like Vistaril. I've tried Buspar and Effexor. I've tried beta-blockers like atenolol and propranolol.

Dealing with anxiety from a medication standpoint is really a lot of trial and error. With all the drugs taken above, there were no horrific side effects. Some had worse side effects than others, where the negative outweighed the positive, but nothing crazy. The key is to be openminded to trying different things. More importantly, get with a really good psychiatrist or psychopharmacologist to help you ramp up or taper down without issue. My psychopharmacologist also specializes in addiction issues (he helped me get into rehab), so he is well aware of my tendencies to self-medicate.

As far as non-medication routes, there is cognitive behavioral therapy, talk-therapy, mindfulness, breathing techniques (very helpful to me), etc. I exercise regularly and do not drink caffeine. I tried EMDR but it didn't work for me. But with things like mindfulness, I've learned to "feel" my anxiety. Just experience it and let it run it's course. I know that it's all in my head and that even though I am experiencing scary physical symptoms, I will be ok. I've gotten good at sensing when panic attacks are coming on and have ways to deal with it, like taking a walk around the block, or even sitting in the bathroom at work for 5-10 minutes just to be alone. Temporarily changing my environment or distracting myself with something like a TV show or video game helps. Even just picking up the phone and calling a family member helps (we all have bad anxiety so we know how to take each other down).

My last bit might not be well received on this board, but it's what works for me. After trying all the meds listed above, the only thing that has really lowered my baseline anxiety and controlled the panic attacks has been klonopin. I take a low-moderate dose daily. Benzodiazepines are no laughing matter and they are, unfortunately, a course of last resort. Accordingly, my doctor has put multiple restrictions in place in case abuse becomes an issue. I can only fill at one pharmacy in my entire city and only within 3 days of the prescription running out. He only writes me a script for 3 months at a time and I have to see him in person to get a new script. My AA sponsor also knows about the meds.

Thankfully, the urge to abuse has not occurred. I've been taking klonopin since before I started drinking (unfortunately, I used to skip my doses all the time when I was drinking heavily). When I went to rehab, benzos were not allowed, so I had to taper down. My doctor wouldn't put me back on them until I had 6 months of sobriety. So I tried lots of new, non-narcotic drugs in the meantime without success. But the klonopin has cut down my panic attacks from daily to maybe once or twice a month. Again, this is under the supervision of an addiction professional. This is not a recommended primary course of treatment. Go on to the substance abuse boards and see how many people struggle with benzo addiction. I do not take it lightly.

Thankfully, my meds do not get me "high." I get no euphoria or huge sense of relief. My anxiety will always be there, even with the meds. But the klonopin lowers my baseline anxiety from about a 7 down to a 2-3. In 1.5 years of taking it in sobriety, I have never taken more than prescribed.

But if a new, non-narcotic drug for the treatment of anxiety became available, I would definitely try it. A few weeks of potential side-effects have never been worse than actually living with untreated anxiety.

Best of luck to you. Please find a good specialist and talk out your options. Your general practitioner/PCP is probably not equipped to deal with these kind of issues.

FLCamper

I'll add my two cents: I've had severe anxiety. A few years ago I decided that I'd had enough. I spent the year making myself do things that frightened, stressed or scared me.
Sometimes I took Xanax, sometimes I held a friend's hand. But I made myself do things: fly on planes, ride in elevators, speak in public, get a physical, go to activities that intimidated me. I also forced myself to quit my OCD habits: no more checking things, lining up items, etc.
It was a stressful year, but the more I did these things, the more I viewed them as a challenge and overcame the fear. I can do all those things now and rarely take a Xanax.
I exercise a great deal which I think helps, too.
I hope you get some relief - it is a burden.

sugarbear1

It seems you've been suffering from this since day 1.....and I see no mention of working those 12 steps, but for me, those steps changed everything for me. One possibility is this. Or, take the doctor prescribed meds and see what happens. Remember, it may take several different meds to be attempted before finding the one that will help you. Whatever you choose, I wish you well! Keep moving forward!!!

With love and hugs,
SB

esinger

I took Celexa for several months and stopped because I just felt off. Not good, not bad. Like I lost my edge. Should have tapered because I had a nasty head ache for about 2 weeks after quitting. There was a study in JAMA a few years back that said that SSRI's were no more effective than a placebo in all but the worst cases of depression. I'm not against any medication when needed. I do think that our society unrealistically demands instant cures in pill form for every discomfort. Doctor's seem to hand SSRI's out like candy to anyone who's having a bad day. Just my opinion and experience. Can't really say what they'll do for you.

Joe Nerv

I suffered debilitating anxiety and panic for many years. It didn't magically disappear when I got sober. It took 2 years before the panic was gone enough to allow me to function as a somewhat normal human being, and I dealt with different anxiety issues on and off for quite a while after. Went through 2 years of some severe hypochondria during my first 10 yrs sober, had a go with several antidepressants (Imipramine, Prozac, Zoloft and Wellbutrin), and it never sat right with me. I was lucky to not be on any long enough to cause any problems getting off. Stopped all of them without incident. I no longer suffer from panic attacks. I experience normal anxiety from time to time. I get depressed from time to time. I have anxiety attacks every now and then too, when I'm running myself down and not doing things I know I should. Im not afraid of any of my feelings anymore, good, bad, or indifferent, and there's a great freedom in that. I'm also not dependant on any chemicals for my peace of mind, and I feel an even greater freedom in that.

We all have options when seeking treatment for any illness. I always believed that medical treatment addresses the symptoms, while holistic treatment addresses the cause. I had to start exercising regularly. I had to look closely at the food I was eating. I went to lots of therapy, with different therapists. I had to make many changes in my life, some that took a lot of time, but that time invested was well worth it for me. I could go on endlessly regarding this, but it's a hot topic for me, something I feel strongly about, and I know my ideas and opinion here are in the minority, so I'll cut it short. Not looking for any arguments, just sharing my ESH.

For me, medical treatment for anxiety/depression would only be an absolute last resort. One I'm fairly confident I'll never be challenged with, but who can say anything for certain. Just read a book called Anatomy of an Epidemic, which has a lot of interesting and eye opening info in it. Read that shortly after reading America Fooled, which addresses many of the same issues but is a little less scientific. I highly recommend either or both books for anyone who's on the fence regarding psychiatric meds. Which the op seems to be.

Oh yeah... the 12 steps were a huge part of my healing, too. Pretty much the springboard to everything else.

neferkamichael

ScottFromWI, this thread is FANTASTIC, thanks. On the 10th I'll be 4 years 9 months sober and anxiety and anger were a big problem for me. For a year or so I read plenty of books about anxiety, fear, anger, OCD, self-defeating behaviors and such, and have plenty left to read. At the end of Febuary a 2 years stretch of good work came to an end and I found myself practicing some of the recommendations from several of them. I'm beginning to realize that change just takes a long time, at least for me. Still behind on the rent and utilities but I handled it a lot better than in the past. That "expectation" of instant satisfaction in everything I do is apparently finally going away, at least I hope so. Now work is picking up again so all is good, rootin for ya.

Marcher13

Scott I know exactly what you are talking about down to "checking [your] heartbeat". Thirty one years ago at age 28 I went through exactly this for the first time and it was an ongoing problem on and off for years.

The first time it happened I was in a stuffy overcrowded church (in the second row) at a huge requiem mass, I was certain I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. I didn't, but how I got through the next hour and a bit was a testament to sheer human willpower. The feeling returned at odd times -- I could be driving, shopping, eating and bang! it would hit.

Drinking masked it, drugs (prescribed) also masked it but the way I finally got through it was a very old fashioned method of breathing through it prescribed by the late Australian psychologist Dr Claire Weekes.

Dr Weekes advocated "facing the fear" and breathing through it. She explained -- simply --our fight and flight mechanism, the part adrenalin plays in that and the overly strong reaction we have in anxiety.

When I actually understood what my body was doing, when I realised that I was having a normal reaction in an abnormal way that helped so much. I could then incorporate the breathing techniques Dr Weekes advocated and, over a period of about twelve months, the anxiety subsided enormously.

I now understand that the breathing has a lot of parallels with yogic breathing, the change of focus enabled me to "walk through" anxious reactions.

This won't work for everyone of course but if you'd like to read more about it, try googling Dr Claire Weekes.

Exercise really matters. In anxiety we have too much adrenalin whirling around in our systems, regular exercise helps to regulate the vegus nerve, thus the adrenaline and also our responses. Keep the exercise consistent but gentle -- walking is ideal, as is swimming, non-racing cycling. For me that was the beginning of a lifelong gentle exercise habit.

Things will improve Scott,, all the best to you.

fishsmacker

I was tapered off xanax after 20 years of being on it. The taper and detox only took 5-6 days,and I was medically supervised 24/7. The first 2 months were Extremely Hard,but almost everything is better now. Now, instead of taking any ssri, or benzo type drugs,I am now on a very unique medication,its called gabapentin or neurontin. I has a very calming effect to it. Non addictive and non narcotic. This med coupled with time and proper inner discipline really has made me stop,think, and say to myself,,dam dude you actually made it thru detox of xanax,,Im still in disbelief. Sure hope this helps someone. Sorry if Im out of line with my wording.

Gottalife

I think you are very wise in your cautious approach. I have seen quite a lot of misadventure with prescribed medication such as ssri, they often seem to create more problems than they solve.

I had a bad patch a few years back which I later connected with giving up smoking. Anger was the problem is was experiencing, my doctor diagnosed depression and immediately wanted to prescribe some antidepressant ssri, the name of which I can't remember. I pointed out my alcoholism, and he said not to worry as these pills are non addictive. In turn I pointed out that alcohol is non addictive...... to most drinkers. I don't think he really inderstood alcoholism, and I think he was comparing ssris to benzos or Valium with his non addictive statement.

Another element doctors here and in the UK face is financial. In the UK the average time a doctor spends with a patient to examine, diagnose and prescribe is seven minutes. They don't get paid enough to be able to offer therapy.

To solve my problem I ended up going to a psychologist, paying $150 per hour, and we worked through the issues together. It took about 15 visits, some home work, but it was very effective and the anger and self worth issues were cleared up without recourse to medication.

If that hadn't worked, I gues the medication would still have been an option, but I am very glad I kept it as a last resort which, in the end, was not required.

sva777

I have to join up with what a lot of people here are saying. My anxiety is still here but less of it since I quit drinking. I do have some xanax which helped me early on for bad panic attacks but I try not to use it more than a few times a month. I know it will not ever "go away" so I am going to try some of the suggestions on this thread.

Marcher13

Scott I'd like to follow up my response at #36 with two things that have occurred to me since writing it.

#1 I now use the breathing I mentioned automatically when anxious/under stress. I have been practicing yoga since recovery (just over two years ago) and the parallels are amazing.

#2 As well as the heartbeat focus I also had the fear (terror in my case) of illnesses because of "symptoms". I am now very upbeat, resilient and healthy.

Please feel free to PM any time.